I Choose You
by RainbowPancake94
Summary: High School AU. Castiel Novak has a dirty dream about Dean Winchester. Dean has a dirty dream about Castiel. Castiel becomes Dean's tutor, and the two soon learn that keeping their relationship platonic is harder than they thought. As their relationship develops, the two have to fight to overcome their problems while doing everything they can to stay together.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hello! If any of you were around about six years ago, you may have already read the beginning of this story. I abandoned it in 2015 because I felt it wasn't going in the direction I wanted it to. Well, I rediscovered it recently and decided I wanted to scrap the later chapters and rewrite the whole thing. The first one or two chapters may stay the same, or have minimal changes, so don't be surprised if this is familiar!_

_Thanks to everyone who very kindly replied to the old version and offered praise and constructive criticism!_

X

_"Dean..."_

_Castiel gasped as Dean stood over him, a devious smile on his face. He knelt down in front of his naked body, eyeing him playfully. "Beg for it," he whispered, his words sending electricity throughout Castiel's entire body._

_"Please, Dean...Please..."_

_His smile grew as he bent down and started licking his way across Castiel's body._

X

Castiel Novak was scribbling in his notebook that morning before school. He'd woken up to another dirty dream involving Dean Winchester, a baseball cap, and a bottle of chocolate syrup, and he knew he had to write about it in his journal.

The problem was, Dean Winchester was one of the most popular guys in school, a troublemaker, and captain of the baseball team. And Castiel had to keep reminding himself of that.

He tried everything to keep the other boy out of his dreams, but it didn't seem to work. What was it exactly that made him like Dean so much? Was it his rugged look (short, spiky hair and leather jackets did seem to be a turn-on for him), his athleticism on the school's baseball team, his 1967 Chevy Impala, or the fact that he could get away with anything? Whatever it was, It caught his attention, and unfortunately, everyone else's as well.

Dean was straight. He flirted and dated (and probably fucked) most of the girls in their grade, and everyone seemed to love him. Cas was a nerd. He had short, black, unruly hair and wore thick-rimmed glasses. He was 5'10", relatively average, and was usually found in the science lab or the art room. Cas had never physically spoken to Dean Winchester before in his life, so why the hell was he in love with this jock who didn't even know he existed?

He didn't know, but he really hoped he'd snap out of it soon.

Just as he finished writing, his older brother Michael called up to him, telling him it was time to leave for school.

"Coming!"

Castiel came pounding down the stairs a minute later, his messenger bag slung over his shoulder, straightening his glasses.

"Geez, any longer and I'd have to call out a search and rescue," Michael said, patting his younger brother on the back. "Ready to go?"

Castiel nodded and followed his brother out to the car.

They drove in silence and Castiel let his mind wander, thinking about Dean and the dream he had this morning. He hoped that Michael wouldn't bring up their father or their current situation. After about five minutes, however, he noticed Michael glancing over at him every few seconds, and he knew the inevitable was coming.

"Castiel..."

"Don't even say it."

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"You were going to start talking about Chuck. I know you already." He looked at his brother who was now focusing on the road, brows furrowed. "And I don't want to talk about it."

Michael side-eyed him as they kept driving. "I know you don't want to, but you can't keep it bottled up forever."

Castiel rolled his eyes. He didn't want to think about their deadbeat adoptive father. He didn't want to remember having to leave in the middle of the night three years ago with his older brothers and sister and having to move three states away. He just wanted to move on. "There's nothing to talk about."

Michael sighed, but said nothing else. They were silent for the rest of the ride, that is, until they pulled up in front of the high school.

"Have a good day at school," Michael said quietly, not looking him in the eye.

Cas glanced over at his brother, eyes narrowed, and then got out of the car without a word. He slung his bag over his shoulder and headed into the building.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Cas..." Dean gasped as the other boy kneeled in front of him, gently sucking on his cock. "Fuck..."_

_Cas hummed as he sucked, looking up at Dean with a mischievous gleam in his eye. Dean reached down and grabbed Cas's hair in his hands, tugging gently as kept going._

_"More..."_

X

Dean Winchester woke with a start, looking around the room at his surroundings. _What was that?_ He never before had sex dreams about any guy, let alone Castiel Novak. He was straight, and Castiel was considered a nerd. He barely ever said two words to the guy. Why was he suddenly having dirty dreams about him?

Dean rubbed the sleep from his eyes and glanced at his clock, noticing it was twenty minutes after seven. _Shit_. He was late.

At that thought, he threw off his blankets and hopped out of bed, running to his closet to pick out an outfit. Having no time, he settled for a black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

He was a few months into his senior year of high school. After that, he would be heading to college to study auto mechanics. He really wanted to go to school for art or writing, but everyone expected him to follow in his family's footsteps. Besides, as much as he loved art and writing, he was pretty terrible at both.

Dean finished dressing and ran a brush through his light brown hair, messing with it so it spiked in just the right way. When he was sure it was perfect, he quickly brushed his teeth, grabbed his bag, and hurried down the stairs with the keys to his Impala in hand.

"Hey, Sammy," he said to his 13-year-old brother who was eating breakfast at the kitchen table.

"It's Sam," he muttered, taking a bite of his toast. Dean ruffled his brother's hair as he grabbed some toast for himself.

"I gotta go, I'm late. Where's Dad?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Sam said with a solemn look.

Dean looked down before replying to his brother. "I'm sorry...will you be okay by yourself?"

"The bus is coming in a few minutes anyways. I'll be fine." Sam shrugged, a weak smile forming on his lips.

Dean ruffled his brother's hair, returning the smile. "Don't worry, we'll be out of this house soon enough."

Sam nodded in return and Dean wished he could've stayed longer to comfort him, but he was already late and would get in trouble if he didn't show up to class on time.

Dean said goodbye to his little brother, then headed out to his Impala. The sunlight gleamed on the black paint, and he smiled. He opened the door and set his bag on the passenger's seat. "Hello, Baby." He rubbed the seat gently. "Lookin' good today. You know you're the most important girl in my life, right?". Dean had used that line several times on other girls he dated, but the only time he said it and meant it was when he was talking to his car. The Impala was passed down to him from his father, and he loved her more than anything. He never went anywhere without her. She truly was the most important woman in his life.

Dean hopped in and closed the door. He started the car and headed to school, blasting AC/DC through the speakers. He drummed along on the steering wheel the whole way, until eventually he pulled into the school parking lot and turned the car off. He got out and stretched, then grabbed his bag and slung it on his back. "Here we go."

He started down the hall to his locker when he ran into his friends from the baseball team, Lucifer Novak and Benny Lafitte. "Deaaaan!" Benny shouted as he approached.

"Hey, guys," he said as he walked up, a smile spreading across his face. "What's up?"

Lucifer patted him on the back. "Dude, I have to tell you what happened with me and Meg Masters the other night."

"Meg Masters? No way."

"Yes way! And let me tell you, she has a smokin' hot body."

They began walking down the hall together, passing the classrooms and heading towards the lockers. They weaves through the crowds of students all congregating together, laughing and talking.

"Let me tell you, she gave me the best blowjob I've ever had, hands down."

Dean scrunched up his face in disgust. "Okay, I so didn't need to hear that. I have first period with her. Now all I'm going to be thinking about is her mouth being near your dick."

Lucifer laughed. "I'm just telling it like it is."

"You are the king, Luc!" Benny jeered with a pat on his friend's back.

They continued walking and joking around for a few more minutes until Lucifer and Benny stopped in the middle of the hall, a smile spread across their faces. "What?" Dean asked, until they gestured in front of them to a nerd with dark unruly hair and glasses. Dean gulped when he realized it was Castiel Novak. Of all people.

Castiel was Lucifer's younger half-brother. They didn't live in the same house, but they shared at least one parent. Luc never told them which, but they figured it was better not to ask. He was their friend after all.

Castiel was gathering his books for the day at his locker, his hands now full. The smiles on their faces suggested that they weren't just going to walk away this time. Lucifer made it a mission to bully his brother everyday to remind people that though they were related, they were nothing alike and he wanted nothing to do with him.

"That little prick has a beating coming," Lucifer said, starting towards him.

"Wait!" Dean blurted out before he could stop himself.

Benny and Lucifer looked at him. "What?" Benny snapped, annoyed. Both of their faces twisted in confusion.

Dean gulped. _Why did I just do that?_ He looked from Benny to Luc and back again as he tried to figure out how to cover his ass. "I-I uh...I would like the honors if I may." _Nice save._

Benny and Luc eyed him carefully. "Alright..." Luc said slowly. "Go ahead."

Dean nodded and started walking towards him. Dean wasn't too big of a bully himself. In fact, he generally just ignored the unpopular kids in school. Bullying made him think of his little brother, who was constantly bullied. He didn't even know why he stopped Benny and Lucifer in the first place, he usually just let them do whatever they did. But something in him stopped him, and he really wish it didn't, because he didn't want to do what he did next.

Dean walked up to Castiel. "Hey Cas," he said with a smirk.

Castiel looked up and icy eyes locked onto Dean's and grew wide. "Uh...hi...uh..." Castiel cleared his throat. "It's Castiel."

Dean chuckled a bit. "Yeah, I'm just gonna call you Cas."

He looked down at the books in Castiel's hands, and knocked them to the floor. Castiel jumped and quickly bent down to pick them up, Benny and Lucifer laughed in the background. In the process, his container of art supplies broke open and pencils and erasers rolled across the tiled hallway. Castiel looked up at him, eyes narrowed.

"That's from Luc." Dean murmured as he walked past him. _Imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry_ Benny and Lucifer followed after him and the three disappeared down the hall.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Hello! This chapter does include the use of a homophobic slur at one point. It only happens once, but I wanted to warn you all so you can prepare for it. Thanks for reading and supporting the story!_

X

It was almost fourth period, and Castiel was still reeling from his interaction with Dean Winchester that morning. Dean had barely ever spoken to Castiel, let alone bullied him, and yet today - of all days - he did just that.

Castiel had never even seen Dean bully anyone. Yeah, he was a popular jock and hung around with some less than reputable characters, but he never actually bullied people. His style was ignoring them unless he needed something. And to bully someone on behalf of Castiel's arrogant half-brother Lucifer? That was a low, even for Dean.

He started packing his books away as the bell rang. The teacher dismissed the class and students started pouring out into the halls. Castiel got up and walked out, heading for his favorite class: Art.

Castiel was very artistically talented. They first discovered his talents when he was five, drawing on the walls of their house. His siblings always encouraged him with his art, even when their father got pissed and would smack him for it. "Boys don't draw, that's faggot shit," he said to him.

But Castiel kept drawing every chance he could. It wasn't long before his teachers noticed, and the school started giving him recognition for his art. He's won multiple awards for his work, and has had them submitted to art galleries. He was even going to college to study art and pursue his passion. Castiel couldn't wait. He could finally get away from high school and away from the family problems that burdened him everyday.

He walked into the art room a couple minutes later as he pulled his sketchbook from his shoulder bag and set it on the table. He sat down and got to work. This week was free drawing, something their art teacher Mr. Clark encouraged. He believed unstructured free drawing was just as important as structured drawing. Castiel liked his teacher a lot. He was pretty well known in the art community and had been in galleries all over the world. He really admired him...and maybe had a small crush on him. But that wasn't something he would admit out loud.

Mr. Clark walked in the room and made his way over to Castiel's table. "Hello Castiel. How's that still life drawing coming?"

"Really well, actually." He turned to the page and showed him. "Mainly just working on shading right now." Castiel looked up at his teacher with a goofy smile. Mr. Clark had short, curly hair and a nicely trimmed beard. He was around six feet tall, with a medium build. His hair was black with small sections of gray hair coming through. Most of the kids in his school thought it made him look old, but Castiel thought it made him look distinguished.

Mr. Clark smiled back at him, the corners of his eyes wrinkling. "It's coming along really well! I can't wait to see it when it's done." The bell rang, singling the start of class. "You know where to find me if you need me," the teacher said, gesturing over to his workspace in the back of the class, "Although, I doubt you'll need me."

Castiel chuckled as Mr. Clark walked away. He hoped to be half as talented and cool as he was. Handsome too, even. He pulled out his pencil and started working on his drawing, but it wasn't long until a body occupied the seat next to him. He glanced over and saw that it was none other than Dean Winchester. _Fuck. I forgot he was in this class._ Castiel ignored him and continued working on his drawing, pretending the other boy wasn't even there.

"Hey Cas," Dean said casually.

"It's Castiel," he replied through gritted teeth.

"Right, right. Sorry." He felt Dean move a little closer to get a look at his drawing. His skin crawled as Dean did this.

"Dean, what do you want?" Castiel snapped. He was still pissed about what happened that morning.

"I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry." When Castiel didn't respond he continued, "Bullying isn't my style. I hate it. See, I got a little brother, Sammy. He gets bullied all the time, and it really bothers me. I hate bullies."

"Then why'd you do it?"

There was a pause. "Because I knew Benny and Luc would do worse. And I couldn't stop them or else they'd start in on me and tell me I'm going soft. So I stepped in so it wouldn't be as bad."

Castiel set his pencil down and looked over at Dean. "You do know you don't have to do what they want, right? You do know that you're your own person, right? You shouldn't worry about what other people think of you."

Icy blue eyes met deep green and locked on for a few moments. "I know that," Dean finally blurted out.

"Do you?" Castiel challenged, eyeing the other boy. Dean didn't say anything, but he bit his lip and swallowed carefully. Castiel broke his gaze and went back to his drawing. "You'd better get back to your friends before they see us talking and give you shit for it."

There was a moment of silence before Dean responded, "Yeah...yeah I guess." Castiel heard the scrape of a chair as Dean got up and started to walk away, but before he did, he said quietly, "I like your drawing, Castiel."

Castiel's stomach did a flip when he heard Dean say his full name. _Shit_. By the time he looked up from his drawing, Dean was already back at another table with his friends.

X

The end of the school day brought mixed emotions for Castiel. He was glad to finally have finished classes and get away from Dean for the next eighteen or so hours, but he wasn't looking forward to going home and potentially having to deal with Michael trying to talk to him. He really just wanted to go in his room and draw...and maybe think about kissing Dean Winchester.

_Wait, what? Shit. Do I have a crush now? _Castiel sighed to himself as he walked down the hall and out to the school parking lot. _You have one dirty dream about some jock and suddenly you want to kiss him?_ _Relax, Castiel._ If his brother Gabe could hear him right now he would call him "thirsty", though he wasn't sure he understood the terminology.

He started scanning the cars looking for Michael. He noticed Dean hanging around his old Impala nearby and quickly turned and walked in the other direction. Okay, so maybe he wasn't so mad at him for what he did this morning, especially since he apologized. Maybe he was more so mad at himself for having a crush on him despite them barely even knowing each other.

Castiel kept searching for his brother, but didn't see him or his car anywhere. _Where is he? _ He really hoped his brother didn't get stuck working late again. He hated having to take the bus home.

Just as he was about to thead for the bus, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to find Dean jogging up. A groan escaped his throat.

"Hey Cas...er..Castiel." Dean smiled like a dork and Castiel's stomach did another flip. _Goddammit body, stop betraying me like this._

"Haven't you already done enough?" Castiel asked.

Dean's smiled dropped. "I apologized for that, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," Castiel said flatly.

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and looked to the ground, making a weird popping sound with his mouth before continuing. "Anyways, you're good at art, right?"

"I'm decent."

"Are you kidding? You're like Picasso," Dean replied with a scoff. "So uh, I was wondering if you'd be willing to tutor me. See, I'm not so great at drawing, but I do enjoy it. I'd love some help or some pointers."

Castiel looked at him in disbelief. "You draw?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, all the time. I have for years now."

"Dean, is this some trick to get my attention?" Castiel watching Dean's face hoping to get an honest answer.

"I swear it's not." Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out a little black notebook. He passed it over to Castiel. "See for yourself."

Castiel took the book and started flipping through it. Inside there were hundreds of doodles - trees, cars, random objects - all of them scribbled with pencil. Some were better than others, but they weren't terrible. Castiel landed on a page somewhere in the middle of a stick figure with messy black hair and thick glasses. He looked up. "You drew these?"

"Yeah, I did," Dean replied, blushing a bit. He quickly grabbed the book before Castiel could even question the picture he landed on. "So uh, will you help me or not?"

Castiel was quiet, contemplating what to say next. I mean, Dean was asking for genuine help with his art skills. It couldn't hurt to be kind, right? After a moment he sighed. "Alright, I'll do it."

"Awesome!" Dean cheered, the goofy smile returning to his face. Castiel couldn't help but smile back. "Hey, where do you live? Do you want a lift home?"

"Aren't you worried about your _friends_ seeing you give me a ride?" The way Castiel said "friends" alluded to the fact that Benny and Lucifer were anything but friends.

Dean chuckled a bit and looked away. "They've been gone for hours now. They cut school after fifth period."

Castiel looked around the parking lot one more time for Michael. When he didn't find him, he turned back to Dean whose eyes had locked onto him. It was hard to say no when he looked that cute. "Yeah, I guess that would be okay."

"Nice," Dean said, turning around and gesturing for him to follow. "Come on, I'll introduce you to my baby."

Castiel rolled his eyes as he followed, but he couldn't help but smile a bit as his stomach did another flip. Maybe this being friends thing would be harder than he thought.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I've been flying through these chapters like crazy. I'm super invested in this story and I'm really proud of how well it's turning out. Thank you all for the love and support! _

X

Dean Winchester was straight.

Yes, he had a sexual dream about the nerdy boy from his art class, but that did not mean he had a crush on him. Absolutely not. He just thought that his brown curls were adorable and that he had the most icy blue eyes he had ever seen, but he one hundred percent did _not_ have a crush on him.

He felt bad for Castiel. He never intended to be mean to him, and he didn't even seem like all that bad of a guy. So he wanted to get to know him and show him that he wasn't like Benny or Luc or any of his other friends. To be honest, Dean didn't expect to ask the other boy if he needed a ride, but he felt the words tumble out of his mouth before he could stop himself. _What are you doing?_ He asked himself. _You're trying to be nice to him, not be a weirdo and ask him to be alone in a car with you._ But it was too late now to take it back.

So he took Castiel to his car and showed her off and let him inside and started driving him home. Too late to turn back now.

"Where do you live?" Dean asked when they settled inside and he had started the car.

"Manchester Street. It's not too far from here."

Dean pulled out of the parking lot and started heading in that direction. "So, you don't drive yet?"

Castiel shook his head. "My brother Michael was supposed to teach me, but he hasn't had the time. I have my permit, just need to practice."

Dean pursed his lips and nodded. "Hey, maybe I can show you sometime," he replied with a chuckle.

Castiel chuckled too, shaking his head. "You have to be over a certain age to do that. I don't think you can."

"Ah what are they gonna do? Arrest me?"

"...Yes, Dean. Yes they will."

They both laughed, and Dean realized he liked Castiel's laugh. He wanted to hear it again. _Do straight guys think that about other guys?_

They chit chatted back and forth until Dean pulled into Castiel's driveway. Castiel and his family lived in a nice neighborhood. The houses weren't mansions, but they were well kept and the lawns were well manicured. Castiel's house was a small two story with blue siding. They had a big bay window right in the front with the curtains drawn open. Dean could see the nice furniture inside, and a TV that hung on the wall across from the window.

"Nice place," he said with a nod. "Your parents own it?"

Castiel slung his messenger bag on his shoulder and didn't make eye contact. "No..." he started slowly. "It's just me and Michael right now."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to assume." Dean could sense there was something Castiel didn't want to talk about, so he dropped it. "So uh, can I get your number?"

"Huh? W-what?" Castiel stammered, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Can I get your number so we can text about tutoring?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, sorry." Castiel reached into his bag and pulled out his phone, passing it to Dean. He typed his number in and handed it back. Then he passed his phone to Castiel to do the same.

"Alright, we'll keep in touch," Dean said with a smirk.

"Right...thanks for the ride," Castiel said, suddenly flustered. He climbed out and closed the door behind him, giving Dean a short wave before heading up to his front door.

Dean watched as Castiel went inside. "Cute butt," he muttered to himself. Dean backed out of the driveway and headed in the direction of his house. _Okay, that definitely wasn't straight_.

X

Dean walked in the front door of their dumpy house and tossed his leather jacket on the back of a kitchen chair. He dropped his keys in the key bowl on the counter, and walked into the living room. Sam sat on the floor with a big bowl of popcorn, watching what looked to be a Marvel movie.

"What's up, nerd," Dean teased, ruffling his brother's hair.

"Hey Dean," Sam said with a smile.

Dean grabbed a handful of popcorn and sprawled across the couch, popping a few pieces in his mouth, ignoring Sam's protests as he stole his food. "Whatcha watching?"

"A superhero movie," Sam replied. "I don't know what, it's on TV. I just flipped over to it."

Dean watched for a couple minutes before sneaking the remote from Sam's side and changing the channel.

"Dean, I was watching that!"

"You didn't even know what it was."

Sam set his popcorn down and got up, reaching for the remote. "I was still watching it."

Dean pulled his arm away to keep the remote in his possession. "Hey, I'm the big brother here. I say we watch something with a little more substance."

"Dean, we're not watching Game Of Thrones again," Sam said, sounding exasperated.

"Don't you dare badmouth Game Of Thrones in this house!"

Sam went for the remote again and Dean pulled away again, a chuckle coming out. It wasn't long before the two were wrestling, and their chuckles turned to full on laughter. Sam ended up putting Dean in a headlock. "Say uncle!"

"Alright. Uncle, uncle!"

Sam let go and grabbed the remote from Dean's hand, sitting back in his spot and flipping back to the movie he was watching.

"You oughta go into the army or something with that grip," Dean laughed as he got up. He would never tell Sam that he actually let him win. It made Sam feel good about himself, and Dean never wanted to take that away from him.

Dean laid back on the couch and continued watching the movie with Sam for a while. An hour later, the front door opened, and both boys tensed up immediately.

Their father stumbled in, beard and hair unkempt, arms trying to grip the door to steady himself. _Drunk again._ Dean stood up and walked over. "Dad, are you okay? Where've you been?"

John looked at him, his words slurring. "None of your business," he snapped.

Dean sighed, lead him over to the couch, and laid him down. Sam was standing at this point, hovering in the back of the room, terrified. "Dad, you need to get some rest." Dean knew he wouldn't get much out of him when he was in this state.

John laid back and closed his eyes, groaning as he started to drift off. Dean went for a nearby blanket and laid it across the older man's body. Sam was still standing in the corner, unmoving. Dean looked over at the boy, studying his frightened expression. He hated when their dad was like this.

"It's okay, Sam. He's asleep," Dean reassured. "He's not going to hurt you."

Sam looked to the floor, tears welling up in his eyes. "Us, you mean," he whispered.

"Sam..."

Sam turned and took off upstairs as the tears broke. Dean watched him go, his heart aching. He wished Sam didn't have to go through this. He wished it was just him.

Dean made sure John was asleep before slipping off to his room himself. He closed the door and collapsed on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Their father was an alcoholic, and an abusive one at that. He usually targeted Sam and Dean had to run interference. It broke his heart to see Sam hurt like this, especially at the hands of someone that's supposed to love and care for him.

John had been this way since their mom died when Dean was four and Sam was just a baby. He used to hit Dean all the time, until Sam was old enough to take the blows. Dean wished John would've just kept hitting him instead.

Dean could hear Sam's sobs through the wall, and it killed him. He couldn't listen to it anymore, so he pulled out his headphones and played some music on his phone. All he kept thinking about was Sam and their dad and...Castiel? Dean had only spoken to him that day, but he wanted nothing more than to text the blue-eyed boy. Not because he had a crush or anything. He was straight, remember?

He pulled up Castiel's contact card and shot him a text. _Hey Cas, we gotta set our date for our first tutoring session._ He waited a few moments and saw his phone lit up with a reply. _It's Castiel. Name a day._ He typed a response.

D: _Sorry. How about tomorrow after school?_

C: _That works. Your place or mine_?

D: _How about yours?_

C: _That's fine. The house will be empty so it will be easy to work. _

Dean smirked before typing his next response: _Oh, so you're trying to get me alone in your room when no one's home? Kinky ;)_

He waited a few minutes before he got a response: _No! It just makes it easier to work in a quiet environment._

D: _Yeah...suuuuure_

C: _I'll see you tomorrow, Dean._

D: _Cya Cas ;)_

Dean smiled to himself. He tried to picture the other boy blushing at his texts, and that made his stomach do a flip. He then started to think of Castiel's curly hair and what it would be like to weave his fingers through it...

_Aw shit. I don't think I'm straight._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Thank you all for the support! I really enjoy writing this story and I love hearing your feedback! I hope you're all enjoying it as well :) _

X

Castiel unlocked the front door of his house and walked in, still feeling flustered from his interaction with Dean. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it. He could hear Dean's car pull out of the driveway and take off down the street. _Goddammit, Dean Winchester. _

He tried to regain his composure as he climbed the stairs to the second floor where his and Michael's rooms were. He walked into his room and set down his messenger bag. He couldn't stop thinking about Dean and the dream and getting the other boy's number. _Fuck, trying to keep this crush under wraps is going to be harder than I thought._

Castiel was gay. He'd known it for a long time, in fact. He first came to terms with it when he was eight and realized he had crushes on the boys at school and not the girls. His family knew it too. His siblings always supported him and loved him (after all, he wasn't the only member of the family who wasn't straight), that is, except for their adoptive father.

Chuck adopted the four of them - Michael, Anna, Gabriel, and Castiel - when they were young. He turned out to be abusive, targeting Castiel with most of it, mainly due to the fact that Castiel was gay. That's one of the main reasons why Michael did whatever he could to protect Castiel and get him out of the situation. Luckily for them, Chuck took off one day and never came back. They hadn't heard from him since.

Michael became the legal guardian of Castiel, mainly because he was the oldest and was the most responsible, while Gabriel and Anna went off to college and made their own ways in the world. The four of them found out about Chuck's biological son Lucifer when they moved to this house three years ago. Lucifer blamed them for Chuck disappearing and held a personal grudge against them for it. Michael told Castiel to just focus on school and stay away from Luc as much as possible. "He's bad news," he told the younger boy. When Castiel asked why, Michael told him not to worry about it. He always wondered why Luc was the way he was, but figured it was better not to ask. He got bad vibes whenever he was near him anyways.

Castiel had been unpacking his bag when he heard a car pull into the driveway, followed by a car door slam. _Michael._ The front door opened and he heard, "Castiel?"

"I'm home!" Castiel called back.

"Can you come down here, please?" Michael's voice rang up the stairs. Castiel groaned to himself and walked out, heading downstairs. When he got there he saw Michael standing in the dining room to the right of the stairs.

The dining room was as nice as the living room - white carpet, dark oak dining table, white table cloths, soft, white dining chairs, and a nice oak china cabinet. The walls were painted a light blue and covered with pictures of the four siblings on various vacations. Michael liked to take the four of them somewhere every year to help them bond more, though Castiel didn't really feel like they needed it. But he still enjoyed going to new places and getting away from school.

Michael was standing over by the china cabinet, arms crossed. "I pulled up to the school to pick you up and you weren't there. You had me worried," he started, his blue-green eyes showing he was not only worried, but mad.

"Sorry," Castiel replied. "When you weren't there a classmate offered me a ride home, so I took it. I didn't know how long you'd be." He said the last part with a bit of malice in his voice.

Michael rubbed his face before responding. "I got stuck doing overtime today, I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Isn't that always your excuse?" Castiel knew he was playing with fire by antagonizing Michael like this, but he didn't really care at this point.

"I have to work overtime, Castiel. I'm doing this to help keep a roof over your head and food in your stomach."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Yeah, seems funny that this same excuse comes up every single time though," he shot back, glaring at his older brother.

"Castiel, knock it off," Michael said through clenched teeth. "I get that you're pissed about Dad and what happened with him, but you can't keep taking it out on me."

"This has nothing to do with Chuck," he replied, crossing his arms and looking away.

"Oh no? You're mad, Castiel. I can see it in your eyes. You're mad about Dad and what happened with him, and you have every right to be-"

"You don't know how I'm feeling!" Castiel shouted. "You have no idea what's going on in my head or how I feel!"

"I do." Michael's voice started rising. "I know you a lot better than you think, Castiel. And I wish you would just _talk_ to me!"

Castiel scoffed. "You don't know me at all. You're never home. You're never there anymore, you're off pretending to be my father instead of being my brother." He felt his eyes welling up with tears and he looked down, trying to blink the tears away.

Michael must have seen this because he stopped talking and let out a deep sigh. He looked to the floor. "I'm so sorry, Castiel." He swallowed carefully before continuing, "I never intended to make you feel ignored or neglected. This is new for me - for all of us. It's going to take some time to figure out the balance to make this all work."

Castiel looked up, tears springing to his eyes, just in time for Michael to walk towards him and pull him into a tight hug. Castiel tried to keep the tears at bay, but the dam broke, and he started sobbing into Michael's shirt.

Michael stroked his little brother's hair, consoling him. "I'm sorry, Castiel. For everything. I'm sorry for what Dad did to you, for neglecting to be there for you, and for making you feel like you couldn't talk to me about what was going on. You didn't deserve any of that."

Castiel said nothing, just sobbed harder. He felt silly for even crying in the first place. He thought he was over what happened to him with his father, but he was wrong. And now here he was, sobbing in the middle of his dining room.

After a few moments he lifted his head up and between his sobs he said, "I-I'm sorry for crying."

Michael looked down at him and shook his head. "No, don't be sorry. If you need to cry, then cry. Sometimes it's the only way to get through it."

Castiel sniffled and rubbed his face as Michael reached over to the table and handed him a napkin. He took it and blew his nose loudly.

"Would it help if I stopped taking so many overtime shifts and made more time for you?" Michael asked finally.

Castiel nodded a bit. "I just...I wish things could go back to normal."

"Me too, bud." Michael sighed, and Castiel looked at him for the first time in a while - really looked at him. Michael's dark brown hair was disheveled, and he had a five o'clock shadow - something Castiel had almost never seen on him. He noticed his brother's eyes looked tired.

"Michael, I'm sorry," he started before his brother stopped him.

"No bud, I'm sorry. I never talked to you about how you were feeling other than to badger you about Dad. That wasn't fair to you." He flashed a small smile at Castiel. "But the good news is that we had this conversation and we can figure out what to do to help resolve the problem."

Castiel nodded, returning the smile. "That's true."

"Alright," Michael said with a small sniffle. He cleared his throat. "Want to help me with dinner? Anna and Gabriel are coming over tonight."

"Sure," Castiel replied with a nod and a smile.

X

An hour later the doorbell rang, and Castiel ran to get it. He opened it and greeted Gabriel and Anna enthusiastically.

"Hey, squirt," Gabriel said with a smirk. He gave Castiel a hug.

"Gabe! Anna!" He hugged back tightly. He loved Gabriel and Anna. Sure, Gabe sometimes got on his nerves, but he loved how carefree and silly his brother was. He was the opposite of Michael, who was more serious and uptight. Anna was sweet and gentle and always made Castiel feel welcomed. He knew she would one day make a great mother.

"Hello Castiel," she said as she smiled warmly at him. Her red hair fell in his face when they hugged, but he didn't pay any mind.

The three siblings headed into the dining room and took their places at the table as Michael brought out the rest of the food. They were eating roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, and asparagus - Castiel's favorite. Michael took his place at the table and they began eating.

"So Castiel," Anna spoke after a while, "How's school? How's your art coming?"

"Really well," he responded through mouthfuls of potatoes.

"Castiel, don't talk with your mouth full," Michael said with a chuckle.

"Sorry." He swallowed before he continued. "I'm going to be applying to college soon, within the next couple of weeks."

Anna beamed at him. "That's awesome! Any top choices?"

"Well, obviously Yale. With how high my grades are and the amount of awards and recognition I've gotten for my art, I definitely have a good chance. I'm still nervous, though."

"Don't worry," Michael interjected. "You'll get in. They'd be stupid not to accept you."

He smiled at his siblings, but couldn't help but feel worry in the pit of his stomach. Logically he _should_ get in, but that didn't mean he would. He decided to change the subject before he ruined his appetite. "Gabe, how are you and Jared?"

"Oh, we're wonderful!" He smiled widely. "He said he's sorry he couldn't make it, and that he'll catch you guys next time."

Jared was Gabriel's boyfriend, and probably one of Castiel's favorite people. He was tall and muscular, with short brown hair. He was so friendly, he generally could make friends with anyone and he was smart, funny, and loved animals - especially dogs. He and Castiel got along really well, and it felt like he was already part of the family. He wondered when Gabe and Jared would get engaged. They'd been together for five years now, and they were perfect for each other. It only made sense.

Anna must have been reading Castiel's mind, because the next question out of her mouth was, "So when's he gonna pop the question?"

Gabriel shrugged and swallowed his forkful of chicken. "I don't know, but even _I'm_ getting impatient at this point."

The table erupted into giggles as Castiel felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at it under the table, seeing a text from Dean. _Hey Cas, we gotta set our date for our first tutoring session._ Castiel quickly typed a response.

Michael glanced over at him. "Castiel, you know phones aren't allowed at the table." He raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry," Castiel responded. "It's a classmate asking about tutoring."

Michael smiled a bit, "Alright, well finish up quick. Dinner is family time."

Castiel nodded as he saw his screen lit up again. He and Dean texted back and forth for a couple minutes before he received Dean's risky text. _Oh, so you're trying to get me alone in your room when no one's home? Kinky ;)_

Castiel squeaked and turned red as he read the text. "Are you okay?" Gabriel asked him.

He cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. Can I be excused? I finished eating and I have some homework to do."

The three older siblings exchanged a knowing look, and Anna giggled quietly. "Yeah, of course," Michael smiled.

"Thank you," Castiel stood and hugged Gabriel and Anna goodbye before quickly shuffling out of the room and heading up the stairs. When he got to his room he closed the door and leaned against it. _Goddammit, Dean Winchester._


	6. Chapter 6

The next afternoon Dean headed out to his car as the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Students poured out into the parking lot and onto school buses as the sounds of laughter and conversation filled the air.

It was mid-December. The temperature had finally dropped, and everyone had broken out their sweaters and winter coats, but Dean opted to wear his flannel and his dad's old leather jacket. The excitement was buzzing in the air as Christmas vacation was coming soon. Dean wasn't looking forward to it, however, as it just meant that he would be stuck at home with his father more. At least he could look out for Sam.

He moseyed out into the parking lot, looking for ways to kill time before heading over to Castiel's for tutoring. He scanned the crowd and found Benny and Lucifer walking over to Luc's car. Dean jogged to catch up to them.

"He guys," Dean said as he reached them. "What's the plan for tonight?"

"I've got a date," Lucifer said with a sly smile, a mischievous gleam in his blue eyes.

"Oh? Meg Masters again?"

"Nah," he replied as he opened the driver's side door and tossed his bag in. "Lilith Graves."

Dean's eyes widened. "How the hell did you score a date with her?" He asked.

"I have my ways," Lucifer said as his smile grew wider.

"I have homework," Benny finally piped in. "My grades are slipping. My old man says I need to bring them up if I want to graduate and come work with him at the old saw mill."

Dean nodded, feeling a bit disappointed that he couldn't hang out with them for the next hour. "Alright, well I have to get home to my brother. I'll catch you guys later."

The two said goodbye as Dean turned and walked away with his hands shoved into his pockets. _Now what?_ He asked himself as he headed for his car. He looked around and found Castiel over by the bike racks with his friend Garth Fitzgerald. He watched as the two talked and laughed, and suddenly he was sad that he wasn't the one making Castiel laugh. _Okay, so that definitely wasn't something a straight dude would say._

Dean had been grappling with these thoughts for the past couple days now, and he was unsure of what to make of them. He'd always been attracted to girls since he was a kid, but never guys, and yet, here he was - attracted to a skinny nerd with messy hair, thick glasses, and the most piercing blue eyes he had ever seen. But it wasn't like he wasn't into girls still. _Am I...am I bisexual?_

He pushed the thought out of his head and walked to his car, hopping in and starting the engine. The parking lot was nearly empty at this point. He noticed that even Garth and Castiel were gone. He sighed, laid his arm across the steering wheel and rested his head on it, closing his eyes. He didn't understand why these feelings were only now surfacing, but here he was.

_Well, I have to see him in an hour, so I better calm down._ He sat up, opening his eyes, and decided to go for a drive around the area to clear his head. He started the car and put it into drive, pulling out of the parking lot and heading down the street.

X

An hour later he pulled up to Castiel's house and cut the engine. He took a deep breath, hoping that he was calmer now, and pulled out his phone. _Here_ he texted Castiel before hopping out of his car and heading up the front steps.

A few moments later Castiel appeared and opened the door. His glasses were off and his hair was plastered to his head, suggesting he had just gotten out of a shower. He was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt that was just a tad too small on him. It was barely noticeable, but not to Dean.

"H-hey Cas," Dean said with a clear of his throat.

"Castiel," He reminded the Winchester boy before opening the door further and letting him in. Dean walked in and looked around. The living room was painted light blue and had white shag carpets. The furniture was white and there was a glass coffee table in the middle of the room. Off to the corner was the mounted flat screen tv, just where he saw it the other day. On the opposite side of the living room was a Christmas tree, fully decorated. Next to that was a fireplace that hung four stockings labeled "C", "M", "G", and "A".

"Nice place," he noted out loud.

"It's decent," Castiel replied before gesturing for Dean to follow him up to his room.

When they got to Castiel's room he noted that it was blue just like the rest of the house. The bed was made neatly with a navy blue comforter. There was a wooden desk against the opposite wall with two chairs set in front. _That's a lot of blue._

"Let me guess: blue if your favorite color," Dean said with a smirk.

Castiel chuckled and looked around. "Yeah, it is. I guess it's a little much."

Dean shook his head. "Nah." Before he could stop himself he said, "Matches your eyes." He froze when he realized what he said.

Castiel squeaked softly as a silence hung over them for a moment. _Stupid stupid stupid._ Finally Castiel responded after a while, "W-we should probably get started."

"Right," Dean replied, sitting in one of the chairs at the desk.

Castiel followed and sat next to him, close enough that the two were nearly touching. Dean felt his stomach flip. "So, can I be honest with you for a minute?" Castiel asked.

Dean was unsure where the conversation was going, but he nodded and Castiel continued: "Your drawings are really good. But what you do seem to lack is technique."

"Jeez, tell me how you really feel, Cas," Dean said with a chuckle.

Castiel ignored him and continued. "Technique is important when it comes to art. It's what helps us figure out the best way to depict what we're seeing in our heads. For example..." Castiel reached into his messenger bag that was next to the desk and pulled out a sketchbook. He flipped open to some of the early pages. "These are my early sketches in this book. I was working on different techniques, trying new ways to draw the same things and trying something different each time. That's why you see the same drawing over and over again."

Dean scooched closer and looked over Castiel's shoulder, seeing the same drawing of the same fruit bowl twenty times. "Yeah, that makes sense. So, where do we begin?"

Castiel closed his sketchbook quickly, seemingly flustered now. "Um, yeah. So." He cleared his throat. "It's going to be tedious, but we're gonna start off with having you draw a simple still life drawing to see exactly where you're at and what we need to work on." He pulled out a coffee mug with flowers painted on it, and filled it with pens, pencils, and scissors. He set it on the desk. "This is what I want you to draw."

Dean nodded. "Okay. How long do I have?"

"As long as you need," Castiel replied. "Art takes a while, so don't worry about how long you're taking and focus on drawing what's in front of you. Take your time." He pulled out a spare sketch book and supplies and passed them over to Dean. "I'll be drawing it too, that way you don't feel like I'm a teacher looking over your shoulder."

"You're drawing it too? Ah man, like that's not a ton of pressure."

Castiel chuckled. "You'll be fine, Dean. We're just seeing where you're at and where you can improve."

"Alright, you're the teacher," Dean replied as he opened his sketchbook and got to work.

"Do you want a snack? I can make a couple sandwiches. Castiel flashed a smile when Dean looked up at him, and he felt his stomach flip again.

"Yeah," Dean replied, "That would be nice."

Castiel nodded and stood up, heading out of his room. When Dean was sure he was gone, he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding and rubbed his eyes. How did his crush grow this much in just a few days? _Maybe it's because you've liked him since the first time you saw him._

Wait, _has_ he liked him that long? He thought back to their freshman year when Castiel first came to their school. He saw the blue-eyed boy in the hallway for the first time one day, and he remembered stopping dead in his tracks. He remembered seeing those blue eyes for the first time and wanting to stare at them forever. He remembered thinking this and turning and running in the other direction. He didn't know why, but he was scared of what he felt when he saw Castiel.

Maybe that's why he never talked to him. Maybe there was a part of him that knew. _It's because you thought he was cute._ The realization washed over Dean suddenly: he wasn't straight, and he never had been. He was bisexual.

X

Castiel returned with the sandwiches and glasses of juice a short time later, and the two went back to work. Every so often Dean would glance over at the other boy, studying his face as he drew. Castiel's eyebrows would furrow whenever he worked on a particularly difficult part in the piece, and would soften when he finally got a section just right. It was fascinating, and Dean knew that if he didn't tear himself away and focus on his drawing, he'd spend the entire time just staring.

After a couple of hours Castiel said, "Alright, I think it's okay to stop for today. How's it coming along?" Dean turned his drawing towards Castiel, who took it and examined it closely. "This is pretty good, Dean."

Dean beamed at the praise. "Thanks. Hopefully it'll be even better soon."

Castiel nodded. "Yes, with enough practice and with learning better techniques it will." He closed the sketchbook and handed it back to Dean. "You can keep that book, it was a spare. Take it home and practice drawing some more still life portraits. Next time we can start working on different techniques. Sound good?"

Dean nodded as he gathered up his supplies. He checked his phone for the time and saw that it was nearly six thirty. "I gotta get home to my brother," he said, standing up. "When do you want to meet up again?"

Castiel thought for a moment before replying, "How about we meet on Sunday? Sometime in the afternoon if that's okay?"

"Sounds good."

Dean and Castiel started heading out the door and down the stairs. As they reached the bottom Dean turned around and said, "Maybe I'll text you later, Cas. He winked and Castiel blushed and looked away.

"Yeah, okay, Dean. It's time for you to go." He started shoving Dean out the door before he could say anything else.

When the door shut behind him he let out a laugh, heading towards the Impala. He hopped inside, tossing the sketchbook on the passenger's seat, and started his car, heading for home. He wasn't too far from Castiel, but it was quite a different neighborhood. Not necessarily the poor neighborhood, but not upper middle class either.

As he made his way home he couldn't stop thinking about Castiel. It was those eyes...those damn piercing blue eyes. And...those lips. He couldn't stop thinking about kissing them; how warm and soft they must feel. By the time he came back to reality he was at his house and needed to regain composure. _Alright, calm down now. You sound thirsty as hell._

He cut the engine and hopped out, grabbing his sketchbook. He headed up the stairs and walked inside. Sam was sitting at the kitchen table, eating a sandwich. He smiled as he saw his little brother. "Hey Sammy."

"Hey Dean," he replied, taking another bite of his sandwich.

"You're just having a sandwich for dinner?"

Sam nodded. "I'm not super hungry."

"Alright," Dean said. "Did you do your homework."

Sam looked up and rolled his eyes. "Of course I did. I'm not an idiot."

Dean chuckled. "Alright, just making sure. If you need anything I'll be up in my room."

"Okay, Dean."

Dean went upstairs and into his room, closing the door behind him. He collapsed on his bed and sighed, finally able to relax. After a few minutes, he pulled out his phone and texted Castiel.

_D: I made it home alright, just in case you were worried._

_C: I wasn't, but thanks anyways for the update. _

_D: Wow, Cas. You're breaking my heart. You mean you don't care what happens to me? _

_C: I do, I'm just confident in your ability to get yourself home safely. Also, it's Castiel. _

_D: Sorry, I gotta remember that. _

_C: Why do you call me Cas anyways?_

_D: What? I give nicknames to all my friends and family. I call my little brother Sammy. Do you not like it? _

_C: I appreciate the sentiment, but my full name is Castiel. I was named that for a reason, and I feel that it should be used in its entirety. _

_D: Why were you named Castiel? _

_C: Honestly? I'm not entirely sure. I'll have to get back to you on that. _

_D: Fair enough. Anyways, thanks for the tutoring. I appreciate it. _

_C: No problem, Dean. I'll see you Sunday. _

_D: Try not to miss me too much ;) _

He chuckled at the last text as he tossed his phone on the bed next to him. He knew that Castiel was probably blushing as he read that text, and was glad it was because of him.

Yeah, Dean Winchester was definitely bisexual.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Thank you all for the support! This is the first time I've written anything in at least five years, so I've very rusty. I'm glad people are enjoying the story!_

X

Castiel was relaxing on the couch at home, flipping through the channels on TV. It was Sunday, just three days before Christmas Eve. They were officially on winter break, and he was happy to get a break from homework to focus on filling out college applications.

It was just after one o'clock, and he had his tutoring session soon with Dean. He was both excited to see the other boy, and nervous. He knew he had a crush on him, but wasn't entirely sure of how to handle it. He had never dated anyone before, especially not someone like Dean, and he was worried that the other boy not only didn't feel the same, but that he would find out and treat him differently - especially if he found out about Castiel's dirty dreams about him.

But Castiel wondered if Dean actually _did_ feel the same way. He flirted with Castiel through text and in person constantly, and did sometimes seem to get flustered when they were around each other. _Maybe. But he does flirt with girls all the time. He's a flirty person._ Still, it was a thought in the back of his mind.

Just as Castiel settled on a channel, Michael walked in. "Hey, bud," He said with a small smile.

"Hi, Michael."

"Whatcha got going on today?"

"I have a tutoring session soon with a classmate," Castiel replied, looking up at his brother. "He wanted some help with his drawing skills."

"Really?" Michael grinned. "You've never been interested in tutoring before. What changed your mind?"

Castiel shrugged and looked away, a bit of a blush forming on his cheeks. "He showed a lot of potential, and I figured it couldn't hurt. It might even look good on my college application."

Michael nodded, obviously not buying it. "Yeah, sure. That makes sense." The grin wouldn't leave his face.

"He's just a friend, Michael," Castiel stated matter-of-factly.

Michael held his hands up in surrender. "Alright, if you say so."

Before Castiel could protest anymore, the doorbell rang. He stood and opened the front door to Dean, who was standing there with his goofy smile. _Adorable smile_, Castiel noted to himself. He smiled back at the other boy, opening the door wider. "Hey, Dean."

"Castiel," Dean said as he walked in. He was wearing a green t-shirt under his leather jacket - one that made his eyes pop - and a pair of blue jeans. _Damn, he looks good._ He felt his stomach flip when Dean used his full name.

"Hello, I'm Michael." Castiel completely forgot that his older brother was still standing there, watching the entire interaction. He started blushing immediately, wishing that his brother had actually picked up another shift today instead. "You must be the kid Castiel is tutoring."

"Yes, sir. Dean Winchester," Dean responded as he held out his hand. Michael extended his own and they shook hands for a moment. "You're the awesome big brother I've heard about."

Michael looked from Dean to Castiel, shocked. "Awesome? Ah man, Castiel, you're really hyping me up here. I guess I have a reputation to uphold now." He clapped Castiel on the back, grinning from ear to ear.

Castiel looked away, feeling embarrassed. "Yeah, I guess." He cleared his throat and said, "We should really get to tutoring though. We have a lot of work to do."

"Aw, come on, Castiel. It's not everyday you bring a boy home to meet," Michael said with a chuckle.

Castiel's face turned white as he became mortified. He looked at Dean, who had his brows furrowed in confusion, and then at Michael. "_Michael_," Castiel hissed.

Michael held his hands up in surrender again. "Sorry, you're right. Don't let me get in your way."

Castiel turned to Dean. "Maybe we should go to the park. Get some fresh air and have a little more privacy."

Dean nodded, "Sure, that sounds great."

X

Half an hour later the two boys were sitting at a picnic table in the nearby park. Dean was sitting on the table, struggling to draw a nearby tree, while Castiel was sitting on the bench working on his own drawing. The weather was a bit breezy, but not too cold. For Kansas around this time of year, it wasn't too abnormal.

After a few minutes of drawing and erasing, Dean looked over at Castiel. "I feel like this isn't coming out right and I don't know why."

Castiel looked over at him. "Let me see," he said, and Dean passed him the sketchbook. He examined it for a moment before saying, "It's good so far. Your lines over here aren't exactly from the right angle, but it looks good." He tapped the spot on the picture he was talking about.

"Yeah, sometimes it's hard getting the perspectives right."

"That's okay, Dean. It will take some time. Remember what I showed you and how you can fix it, and just keep trying. You'll get it eventually." Castiel smiled at him and handed back the sketchbook.

Dean smirked back. "You have a lot of faith in me," he replied, taking the sketchbook from him.

"Anyone can advance their art skills with enough practice. It takes time, patience, and dedication."

"How long have you been drawing for?" Dean asked.

Castiel thought for a moment before responding. "Honestly? I think I was about five. Of course, I was drawing on the walls with crayons, but my brothers and sister saw this and decided to start getting me art supplies. The rest was history."

Dean chuckled. "Who knew drawing on walls as a kid could be the push you needed?"

"Right," Castiel said with a laugh. "I'm grateful for it, though. I wouldn't be where I am now without it." He set his pencil down on his sketchbook. "When did you start drawing, Dean?"

"I think it was four years ago," Dean said, placing his own sketchbook on the table next to him. "I started doodling in class and realized that I actually liked it a lot. So I started keeping a little notebook and drawing in it whenever I could. When I saw your drawings I knew I had to ask for help with my own."

Castiel nodded and then looked at the table, biting his lower lip before speaking, "You know, Dean. You don't have to keep pretending to be my friend. I know you feel bad for being a dick to me, but you don't have to keep being nice to me. I forgive you for that."

Dean furrowed his brows at the other boy. "What? Why do you think I'm faking being your friend?"

Castiel shrugged, feeling a bit embarrassed. "I mean, you and I have never talked before that incident. Then all of a sudden you wanted tutoring and wanted my number and started texting me. Just seems a bit weird."

"Castiel," Dean started, "I'm not pretending to be your friend. Sure, I thought that asking for your help could show you that I'm not the asshole I made myself out to be, but that wasn't the main reason why I did it."

Castiel looked up. "It's not?" He asked, eyes widening a bit.

Dean nodded. "I wanted to get to know you better. I've seen your art. I've seen the awards you've won and the recognition you've gotten. I've seen how smart you are, and I...I don't know, I guess I admire you for that."

Castiel's stomach did a backflip and his heart started pumping harder. _Dean Winchester...admires me?_ He couldn't believe it. All this time he thought that Dean didn't even know he existed, let alone that he paid attention to anything he did - especially his art.

They sat in silence for a minute before Dean continued, "And I don't know if you know this, but you're one of the most genuine people I've met at that school. Hell, you _are_ the most genuine person there."

Castiel looked up and locked eyes with Dean, searching them carefully. If there was any sign that the Winchester boy was lying, he didn't see it. Castiel swallowed before responding with, "Oh."

"_Oh?_ That's all you can say to that?" Dean looked slightly annoyed at this point.

Castiel cleared his throat. "Um...thank you."

Dean held Castiel's gaze for a moment before his face dissolved into a smile and he started laughing. "I confess that I admire you and all you can say is "Oh" and "Thank you"?"

"What else do you want me to say?" Castiel asked, also laughing. "You put me on the spot, I don't know how to respond to that."

Dean shook his head, still laughing as he said, "Nevermind, man. Just know that I'm not pretending to be anything to you. I _want_ to be here. I _want_ to talk to you."

Castiel didn't say anything as Dean grabbed his sketchbook and pencil and started drawing again. Castiel picked up his own pencil and returned to his work. Dean Winchester _admired_ him. He _wanted_ to be around him and talk to him. At this point, Castiel's stomach was full on breakdancing, and he nearly felt like he could throw up. _Holy shit._

"Dean," he finally spoke after a while of silence.

"Hmm?" Dean responded, not looking up from his drawing.

"If it's any consolation," Castiel said, turning to look at him, "I enjoy talking to you and tutoring you."

Dean stopped drawing and looked up at Castiel, a smile forming on his face. Castiel smiled back as his heart pounded in his ears. His face started getting warm and he cleared his throat. "W-We should get back to drawing." He turned back to his drawing and picked up his pencil.

Dean chuckled and said, "Okay, Castiel."

X

The two boys drew for another hour or so before packing up and heading back to Castiel's house. They didn't say much, but Castiel could feel a weird intensity between them, one that he couldn't quite put his finger on. The entire walk home Castiel kept sneaking glances at Dean, watching him for some indication of what he was feeling, but he didn't see anything. Dean was just as stoic has he normally was.

When they reached Castiel's house, he finally decided to ask the question that had been burning in his mind. "So, does that mean we'll be hanging out more at school? Or...?"

Dean stopped and turned to look at Castiel. He watched the other boy as he fidgeted, looking away before speaking. "I want to Cas, but..." He cleared his throat before continuing, "I just don't know how Benny and Luc are gonna take it."

Castiel's heart sank. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean, I don't want them to start targeting you more. Or coming after me. They're not the most kind people."

Castiel scoffed and looked away, his eyes starting to tear up. "So I'm supposed to be your secret friend?"

"That's not what I mean," Dean said with a sigh. "I mean, maybe we should wait a bit before we start hanging out at school. Like maybe I could ease them into the idea of us being friends."

Castiel shook his head. "Why does it matter what they think, Dean?" He felt his eyes filling up more with every word. He turned away and tried to wipe his eyes quickly before Dean could see.

"It doesn't. I still want us to be friends regardless of what they say, but I don't want you getting hurt because of your crazy brother." Dean's voice was rising now out of frustration.

Castiel laughed, rolling his eyes. "Or you just don't want people to know. Got it." He stormed past Dean and up his front steps.

"Castiel," Dean said firmly.

Castiel stopped and whipped around. He was no longer hiding the venom in his voice or the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. "Look, I'm not stupid. I know how you jocks are. You care so damn much about your image and how people see you. But guess what? None of this will even matter in a few months! We're _graduating_. We're going to college. You will probably never see these people ever again. What they think about you shouldn't matter!"

"Castiel, stop," Dean commanded. "That's not what I care about-"

But Castiel ignored him. "I should've known better than to trust you," he shot back before turning and heading inside, slamming the door behind him.

"Castiel!"

Castiel leaned against the front door, fully crying now, ignoring Dean's calls for him. He felt so foolish for having believed Dean. He should have never trusted him, and he knew that somewhere deep inside. But his stupid crush got in the way of that and he thought that maybe Dean would be different, but he was wrong.

A few seconds later Michael appeared in the dining room doorway. "Castiel?" He asked, walking over to him. "What's wrong, bud? Are you okay?"

"N-No," Castiel choked out between sobs.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Castiel shook his head, covering his face with his hands and sobbing harder. Michael walked forward and wrapped his arms around his little brother, hugging him close. For the second time this week, Castiel found himself sobbing into his brother's shirt, and at this point he didn't really mind.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Hello! Just a quick note that this chapter also includes a homophobic slur, so continue with caution! _

X

It was Christmas Eve. Dean hadn't heard from Castiel for three days, even though he tried texting him constantly. He felt like an idiot for trying to ask Castiel to keep their friendship secret, but as much as he tried to apologize for it, Castiel wouldn't answer. He hoped that giving him a few days to cool down would help.

It was six o'clock in the evening and he and Sam were hanging out downstairs in front of the TV, flipping through the channels. Christmas wasn't a holiday they really celebrated - especially with their dad being the way he was. But they decided to at least spend some time together while their dad wasn't home.

Dean landed on a sports channel and tossed the remote on the couch. Sam was sitting on the floor, playing a game on his phone. "Do you think dad will come home tonight?" The younger boy asked.

Dean shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. He's not exactly predictable."

The character Sam was playing as crashed and died, ending the game. He groaned and closed out, putting his phone back in his pocket. "Do you want your Christmas gift?"

Dean looked over at Sam. "You got me a Christmas gift?"

Sam nodded, smiling. "Yeah, Uncle Bobby helped me pick it out."

Dean smiled back. "Of course I want my gift."

Uncle Bobby wasn't actually their uncle. He was a friend of their father that they grew to know over the years. Most of the time they preferred Bobby's place over their own, but they didn't want to spend too long there, or else Bobby would start asking questions. Dean could handle their father. He didn't want Bobby to be burdened with taking care of them.

Sam stood up and slipped out into the kitchen. He came back a few moments later with a small gift, wrapped poorly in red wrapping paper. He handed it to his brother. "Open it," he commanded.

Dean took the gift and ripped it open. He reached inside and grabbed what appeared to be a necklace. When he pulled it out he saw that it had an amulet on it. It was gold with a face carved into it and horns. "I don't know what this is supposed to be, but I love it already."

"Honestly, I don't know either," Sam confessed. "But I thought it looked cool, and I wanted you to have it."

"Thank you," Dean said, putting it around his neck. "I'll never take it off."

Sam smiled and hugged the older boy. "Merry Christmas, Dean."

"Merry Christmas, Sammy. I'm sorry I didn't get you anything."

"It's okay. The real gift was seeing your face when you opened my gift."

Dean chuckled. "Wow, that's very Hallmark of you, Sammy."

"Shut up," Sam replied, shoving Dean.

Dean laughed in response. "But I love the gift, Sam. Thank you."

"You're welcome," the younger boy replied as he sat on the couch.

"I may not have gotten you a gift," Dean said, holding up a finger. "But I did get us something else." He stood up and walked into the kitchen for a moment, then came back into the living room a short time later, carrying two glasses, a small carton of eggnog, and a package of store-bought cookies. "I know how much you love eggnog." He set the supplies down on the coffee table.

"Hell yeah," Sam cheered. "Dean, you're the best."

"I know," Dean replied with a smirk.

Dean started pouring their drinks as Sam ripped open the package of cookies. He shoved one into his mouth and started grabbing a handful more.

"Whoa, easy there, tiger," Dean said, grabbing the package from him. "You're gonna get sick if you keep that up.

Sam groaned before he listened to his brother and slowed down. He handed Dean a couple of the cookies he grabbed and took his drink, sitting back down on the couch.

The two continued their snacking for a while longer before the front door opened, causing them both to jump. They looked over to find John Winchester in the doorway. His hair was disheveled, much like it had been the last time they saw him, and his clothes were old and stained. His beard hadn't been trimmed in days, but what was really concerning was the bruises on his face. Dean figured John had gotten into a fight with someone at the nearby bar again.

John stared at the two boys as he walked in, and slammed the door shut behind him. Dean felt Sam freeze next to him and slink back on the couch, trying to remain out of sight. "Dad? Where have you been?"

John took a couple more steps into the room, looking around at the house. "Why is this house a mess?" He asked, ignoring Dean's question and taking off his coat. He dropped it on the armchair. Full, coherent sentences. He was sober. _Fuck_.

"Dad, it's not that bad," Dean started carefully, not taking his eyes off the man. "Besides, we were gonna clean it."

"Already clean and gonna clean are two different things." John remarked as he skunk into the armchair. "Sam, get me a beer."

Sam flinched before jumping up and heading to the kitchen. Dean watched him go as John untied his shoes and took them off, tossing them to the floor next to the chair. Sam returned a few moments later with John's beer, uncapped. He grabbed it with a grunt and took a long swig. Sam took the moment to turn and run to the stairs sitting on the bottom steps.

"Dad, are you okay?" Dean asked. His throat was dry and he swallowed to try to moisten it.

"Yeah, I'm fine." John replied after he finally finished drinking. "What's with the cookies and milk?" He gestured towards the snack that Dean and Sam were previously sharing.

"I-It's Christmas Eve."

"Aren't you a little old for that?"

Dean didn't respond, he just stood up and grabbed the eggnog and cookies and headed for the kitchen. As Dean started putting everything away, he heard John start in on Sam.

"Why are you over on the stairs? Get your ass over here."

Dean tensed up and he listened closely, praying that John wouldn't hit him today. _Not today...please. _

"You need a damn haircut," he heard John snap. "You look like a girl. Ain't no son of mine gonna walk around looking like some queer."

Dean's blood was boiling at this point. He slammed down the package of cookies, and before he could stop himself, he walked into the doorway of the living room, fists clenched. "What did you say?"

John looked up at him, brows furrowed in anger. "I said I ain't raising no queers."

Sam looked over at Dean, his eyes wide. _Don't_, he mouthed at the older boy, but Dean ignored him. He walked forward and moved Sam out of the way, squaring up. "You've got some fucking nerve," he started.

John stood up, face to face with Dean. "Oh really?"

"You have the nerve to come waltzing back into this house after being gone for days...weeks even. Barely ever here, barely giving a damn, almost always showing up drunk...you have the nerve to come in here and start spewing that bullshit."

John's face darkened, his lips drawn into a tight line. He pointed at Dean and said real low, "You watch your mouth, boy."

"No, you watch your mouth," Dean shot back, his voice rising. "I'm sick of you and your mouth. I'm sick of you walking in here pushing us around like we're some damn punching bags." He looked his father in the eye. "You haven't been the same since mom died."

John bristled. "Don't you dare talk about your mother."

"Why not, Dad? Why do we have to pretend like she didn't exist? Is it because you feel guilty? Do you blame yourself for what happened?"

This was enough to tip John over the edge. He grabbed Dean by the hair and brought him closer, yelling directly in his face. "You shut your damn mouth!"

Dean could see every wrinkle, every bead of sweat at this point. He flinched in pain with his father's tight grip. He knew he was poking the bear, but he couldn't stop himself. He had enough.

"It was a house fire, Dad! You couldn't control it. You couldn't stop it. She's gone! And hitting me and Sam won't bring her back!"

John flared his nostrils as he shoved Dean to the floor with a _thud_. He stepped forward and brought his leg back, dealing a kick to Dean's stomach.

"Stop!" Sam yelled, tears starting to fall down his cheeks. "Dad, stop it!"

Dean let out a yell as he got a second kick. He coughed as the wind was knocked out of him. Before he could catch his breath, he got a punch to the face. Sam was full on crying at this point, screaming for John to stop. "It's okay, Sammy," Dean choked out as the blows kept coming.

Dean could do nothing except lay there as each strike landed. He heard a crunch as his dad connected with his nose, and felt warm liquid running down his face. He kept getting flashes of white light with every head strike.

After what seemed like hours, the blows finally stopped. Dean heard distantly the sound of footsteps, followed by a door closing. "Dean?" He heard Sam say before he finally lost consciousness.

X

Dean awoke sometime later, feeling like he got hit by a freight truck. He blinked until his vision was clear, and looked around, realizing he wasn't in his house. "Sam?" He called out.

"I'm here," Sam said, coming to Dean's side. "Dean, are you okay?"

"Peachy," Dean replied, slowly sitting up. He looked around and realized he was laying in a spare bed in...Uncle Bobby's house? "Sam, are we at Bobby's?"

Sam nodded. "I called him after what happened." He paused before saying, "Do you remember what happened?"

Dean lifted a hand and rubbed his head, trying to recall. Then he remembered: this was John's doing. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I remember."

A moment later Bobby Singer walked in, carrying an ice pack, a glass of water, and some aspirin. "Glad to see you're awake," he said as he handed it to Dean. "Here, this'll help."

Dean took the aspirin and water and knocked them back quickly, drinking nearly half the glass before handing it back to Bobby. Then he took the ice pack and placed it on his head. He sighed as his pain reduced to a dull throb.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I know I was being stupid."

"It's okay, Dean," Sam reassured. "Stupid, yeah, but it was also brave as hell."

"I'd say more stupid than brave," Bobby remarked.

Dean glared up at him before continuing, "What happened after I passed out?"

"I called Bobby for help. Then I packed some of our stuff up and he came and got us."

"Yeah, as soon as he told me what was going on, I dropped everything and came over," Bobby added. "Boys, why didn't you tell me what was going on sooner?"

"We were scared," Dean said. "I thought I could handle it myself." He looked down for a minute. "I didn't want Sam to get taken away and thrown in foster care or something."

"So you took the beatings yourself?" Bobby asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Dean nodded. "I knew I could handle it."

Bobby shook his head. "Sometimes you're just like your daddy, I swear."

"I am nothing like him," Dean shot back.

"You're a little bit like him. Ain't nothing wrong with that as long as you don't start hurting the ones you love."

Dean didn't say anything. He felt stupid for having let his anger get the better of him, but hearing that slur set him over the edge. He didn't want to think about how much worse it would be if John knew _he_ wasn't straight, not Sam.

"Uncle Bobby said we can stay with him as long as we need to," Sam said after a while.

"My home is your home," Bobby replied. "It'll give us time to figure out what to do about your dad and how you can get custody of Sam."

"Thanks, Bobby," Dean said.

"Don't get all sappy on me now, boy," He said with a smile.

"Wait, what about my car?" Dean asked.

"We grabbed the keys, but it's still at the house. I can take you to get it tomorrow after you rest."

Dean stood up, still holding the ice pack to his head. He grunted as his body screamed at him, but he ignored it. "I'm fine, take me now."

"Dean," Bobby replied, getting to his feet. "You just got the shit kicked out of you. You might have a concussion, and you want to get behind the wheel?"

"I said I'm fine, Bobby," Dean reaffirmed. He locked eyes with Bobby. "If I'm feeling bad, I can pull over."

"Dean..."

"Please." He cleared his throat. "I just don't want Dad to do anything to it, and I'm gonna be worrying all night."

Bobby stared at the older boy for a minute before sighing. "Alright, I'll take you. But if you get into an accident, don't come crying to me."

X

Fifteen minutes later they pulled up to the front of the Winchester's house. Before the car even came to a full stop, Dean hopped out and ran for his car. His ribs were still throbbing, but he didn't care. "Oh baby," he said as he approached his car. "I'm so sorry I left you. I'm here now."

Bobby hopped out of the car, rolling his eyes. "You act like you're married to the damn thing."

Dean placed his hand on the hood of the car. "Shh, don't listen to him. He just doesn't understand our love."

Bobby rolled his eyes again. "Will you just get in the damn car so we can head back before your father comes home again?"

Dean chuckled and unlocked his car, opening the door and getting in the front seat. He turned the key in the ignition and listened to the hum of the car as it started. He was relieved that it was okay.

Bobby tapped the glass and Dean rolled down the window. "Want me to tail you home to make sure you don't crash?"

Dean pursed his lips, thinking for a moment. He knew it was silly, but after everything that happened tonight, all he wanted to do was see Castiel. He wanted to apologize for everything and make things right, but he wasn't sure the other boy would listen. _I have to try._

"I have a quick stop to make. I won't be too long. I can shoot Sam a text when I'm on my way back. Is that okay?"

Bobby sighed. "I don't think it's a good idea, but you're almost eighteen You're gonna do what you want regardless of what I have to say." he rubbed his beard. "I want to see you back in an hour. If you're not back by then, I'll find you and drag you back myself. Understood?"

"Understood."


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel was curled up on the couch in his plaid sweatpants and blue long sleeve shirt. He had a mug of hot chocolate in his hands, taking sips of it every so often. Michael was sitting in the armchair nearby with his own cup of hot chocolate. They were watching some Christmas movie that Castiel had never heard of, but Michael insisted it was good and "a classic". So far, Castiel just thought it was cheesy.

Castiel hadn't heard much from Dean since Sunday, although he was ignoring his texts. He was still a bit upset from their fight, and was having a hard time forgiving him. He eventually ended up talking to Michael about what happened, and Michael essentially told him (in better terms) to get his head out of his ass. "This kid obviously likes hanging out with you, Castiel," he had said. "Yes, you absolutely shouldn't be friends with someone who wants to keep you a secret, but I'm not sure if that's exactly what's happening here. I think you should at least talk to him and figure out what's going on."

Castiel knew Michael was right, but he just wasn't ready to admit it. Maybe he took things a little too hard because of his crush. Maybe he knew that he was overreacting and actually missed Dean a lot. Maybe he really did need to get his head out of his ass.

He was lost in thought, barely even paying attention to the movie, when the doorbell rang. He and Michael looked at each other, then at the door. "I'll get it," Castiel offered, standing and setting down his mug. He walked over to the door and opened it to find Dean Winchester standing on his doorstep.

"Castiel..." Dean started, lifting his head to look at him.

"Dean?" Castiel asked. He looked at the boy, seeing the bruises all over his face, and dried blood around his nose. He noticed his nose was also a bit misshapen from the last time he saw him. "Oh my god, what happened to you?"

Dean shook his head. "Honestly, it's not important at the moment. I came here to talk to you, and apologize."

Before Castiel could say anything, Michael appeared behind him in the doorway. His eyes widened when he noticed the state of Dean's face. "Dean, what happened to you?"

"I'm okay," Dean replied, looking away for a moment. "But Castiel, can we talk? Please?" He looked up at Castiel, eyes pleading with him.

Castiel nodded curtly. "Let's go for a walk."

X

Castiel grabbed his coat, hat, and mittens and a few minutes later the two boys were walking around the block. Dean had his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, trying to keep warm. A silence hung in the air between them for a while before Dean spoke.

"Listen, Castiel," he started, looking at the ground as they walked. "I'm sorry for trying to make you keep our friendship a secret. It wasn't cool. You were right; I shouldn't care about what anyone else thinks, and you're too important of a person to just be kept a secret."

Castiel watched the other boy, his heart thumping. You're too important. He took a deep breath and watched the fog travel from his mouth in the cold air. "Dean, I'm sorry too."

"For what?" Dean asked, looking over at him.

"I let my emotions get the better of me. I should have known you didn't have ill intentions, and I should have talked to you instead of flipping out."

"It's okay, Castiel."

"Can we...can we go back to how things were?" He asked quietly.

"Of course. Water under the bridge," Dean grinned at him and he grinned back.

They continued walking for a bit in silence before Castiel spoke up again. "Dean, what happened to your face?"

Dean flinched and looked at the ground. "Uh...my father happened."

Castiel grabbed Dean's arm and stopped. "Wait, what? Your father?" His eyes widened.

Dean nodded, not meeting Castiel's eyes. "Yeah, my father."

"Dean...I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Dean said with a shrug. They started walking again. "My mother died when I was real young, in a house fire that started in my brother's nursery. After she died, he changed. Started drinking, started hitting. Mostly Sam." He sighed. "I started running interference. Any time he would go after Sam, I'd step in and set him off so he'd come after me instead."

Castiel's eyes started to water as his heart ached. "Dean..."

"Tonight I just pushed him way too far. He started in on Sam, called him names, saying he was gay. I lost my cool and went off."

Castiel sniffled and wiped a few tears away. He had no idea that Dean was being abused at home.

"I don't know why I'm telling you all of this," Dean continued. "I guess I just felt like you'd be the only one to understand."

"I do understand, Dean," Castiel replied. "I've been in your shoes."

Dean looked up suddenly. "Wait...really?"

Castiel nodded, meeting the other boy's eyes. "The reason why I live with Michael is because of my father." He could feel his heart beating quicker as he spoke. He had never told anyone about what happened to him, not even Garth. "Me and my siblings - Michael, Gabriel, and Anna - were adopted by Chuck. Lucifer's father. Shortly after he started the abuse, targeting me specifically."

"Holy shit," Dean said quietly, staring at the other boy with wide eyes.

"He was very prejudiced, he attacked me because...because I'm gay. He hated everything I did because of it. My siblings had to run interference and protect me whenever they could."

Castiel stopped walking and looked out at the houses on the street. Some had no lights on, others had a couple living room lamps that illuminated their windows. Dean stopped next to him and watched him, waiting for him to continue.

"A couple of years ago he and Michael got into a bad fight. He beat my brother pretty badly." He sucked in a breath through his gritted teeth. "Chuck took off after that. Haven't seen him since."

Dean sighed and looked down. He lifted a hand and gently rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Cas, I'm sorry."

Castiel half shrugged. "It's okay. You can't change what happened. But at least he's gone now."

"Still, you didn't deserve any of that."

"Neither did you, Dean."

The two set off walking again. Castiel looked at the ground, blinking repeatedly to try to keep his tears at bay. He didn't feel like crying today.

"I think," Dean started slowly. "I think I got so upset because I just kept thinking about what he would do to me if he knew I wasn't straight."

Castiel looked up suddenly, eyes wide. "Wait...you're gay?"

"Bisexual, actually." Dean didn't meet his eyes, but he could sense the nervousness in his voice. "Newly discovered."

Castiel let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Dean Winchester was bisexual. Suddenly the events of the past couple weeks made sense. "Dean, I had no idea..."

Dean looked up at him. "I've been flirting with you everyday the past couple of weeks and you didn't think anything of it?" They held each other's gaze for a minute before he continued, "Man, you're oblivious." He chuckled.

Castiel crossed his arms. "Okay, so maybe I don't know when someone's into me. Can you blame me? I've never dated before."

Dean stopped walking and looked at the other boy. It was his turn to be surprised. "Never?"

"Never," Castiel repeated, looking away.

"A stud like you has never dated a single person before? I find that hard to believe."

Castiel scoffed. "Stud. Yeah, okay."

"It's true." Dean pulled his hands out of his pocket and rubbed them together. "I should've brought gloves."

Without thinking, Castiel stopped and walked over to Dean, taking his hands in his own, and rubbing them to help warm them up. After a few seconds he looked up to find Dean staring at him intensely. "What?"

Dean shook his head. "Nothing, I just...I meant what I said."

Castiel stopped rubbing their hands together and just held them, staring back. Dean Winchester thought he was a stud. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears at this point.

After a minute, Dean spoke again. "You know what might help? If, you know, you kept holding my hands. Well, at least one of them. Preferably my right one."

"Dean Winchester, are you saying you want me to hold your hand?" Castiel asked with a small smirk. Dean didn't say anything, he just grinned in response. Castiel dropped his right hand, and grabbed Dean's right with his left, interlocking their fingers. They smiled at each other before turning and starting their walk again, their intertwined hands hanging between them.

"Did that hand holding move ever work on any of the girls you've been with?" Castiel asked after a while.

Dean shrugged. "A couple. Wait." He stopped a second and looked at Castiel. "How many girls do you think I've been with?"

"Well, you've dated quite a few. I just assumed you've...you know..."

Dean pursed his lips before speaking. "Well, you thought wrong." They started walking again.

"So...how many people have you been with?" Castiel looked at the other boy expectedly, but there wasn't a response. He looked away and said, "Sorry, that's not my business. I'm sorry I asked."

"No, it's okay," Dean replied. "I've been with one person."

"Really?" asked Castiel, surprised.

Dean nodded. "Lisa Braeden."

Castiel looked around at the houses again. That made sense. Dean and Lisa dated for their entire sophomore year. They were inseparable, until Dean broke it off for unknown reasons. Castiel was curious about what happened, but decided not to push it further. It wasn't his business, and Dean would tell him one day if he wanted to.

Dean reached into his pocket for his phone with his free hand and checked the time. "Shit, we have to get back. I promised Bobby I'd be home in an hour."

"Bobby?"

"Yeah. He's a family friend. We're staying with him until we can get the Dad situation sorted out."

Castiel nodded. "Let's head back then."

X

Ten minutes later the two were back in front of Castiel's house, still holding hands. They walked up the front steps and Castiel turned to Dean. "Please be safe getting home, Dean."

"Oh, so now that you know I'm interested in you, you suddenly care about if I get home safe? I see how it is," Dean said with a laugh.

Castiel shoved him playfully. "Hush."

Dean laughed more, the corners of his eyes wrinkling. Castiel liked making Dean laugh.

"Castiel," Dean said after he finally stopped laughing. He locked eyes with the other boy.

"Yes, Dean?"

A silence hung in the air between them as they stared at each other. Castiel's heart was beating faster, and he could feel the sweat forming on the back of his neck, despite the fact that it was thirty two degrees out.

Finally after a while Dean responded. "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

Before Castiel could even say anything, the Winchester boy moved closer, now only inches away. Castiel's breath hitched in his throat and his heart drummed in his ears as Dean closed the space between them and they kissed.

Castiel squeaked softly and closed his eyes, leaning into the kiss. Their mouths moved in harmony, and before Castiel could think about it, he reached a hand up and placed it gently on Dean's face. Electricity seemed to encompass the air surrounding them.

After a few seconds, they pulled apart and looked at each other. Castiel chuckled nervously, looking down as his face started to flush. Dean also chuckled nervously before saying, "Alright, I have to go."

Castiel nodded and looked up again. "Goodbye, Dean."

"Goodbye, Cas," Dean whispered in response as he slowly backed away, a goofy smile creeping on his face.

Castiel watched as the other boy got in his car and drove away, not even caring that Dean didn't call him by his full name.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean Winchester walked down the school hallway with his backpack slung over his left shoulder. It was the first day back from winter vacation, and he was still getting used to having to be up early again. He rubbed sleep from his eyes as he scanned the crowd, looking for Castiel.

The two boys hadn't seen each other since Christmas Eve. Dean was busy figuring out how to become Sam's legal guardian when his eighteenth birthday hits, and Castiel was dealing with his siblings visiting and staying over. They may not have seen each other, but they texted constantly, flirting back and forth. Dean wasn't entirely sure if they were officially dating, but he was pretty sure they were.

Keeping Castiel a secret from his brother and Bobby until he figured out what they were for sure was becoming harder and harder everyday. They often found him preoccupied with his phone, smiling goofily at certain texts. They would question him about it, and Dean would have to lie and say it was one of his friends sending him something funny or that he was watching a funny video. He was pretty sure they didn't buy it, but they didn't push him further.

He was heading to his art class, the one he shared with Castiel, so he wasn't too worried about not finding him in the hallway. But he was worried that Castiel wouldn't be as excited to see him as he was to see Castiel, especially considering they hadn't seen each other in a week and a half. He worried the other boy didn't actually like him and that the hand holding and kiss were just a fluke.

_Holy shit_, Dean thought. _Is this how it feels to actually like someone?_ He wasn't completely familiar with the feeling. Sure, he had dated girls before, but he never quite felt this way. Except maybe with Lisa.

He finally got to his classroom just before the second bell rang. He paused in the doorway and peeked in, looking for Castiel at his usual table in the back of the class. He saw the dark-haired boy sitting there, his sketchbook already opened on the table. Castiel was hunched over it, concentrating as he drew. Dean smiled.

He walked in and started over to his usual table, also in the back, next to Jo Harvelle. She was a spunky, blond-haired girl, and was physically fit. She was on the track team, after all. Dean and Jo had dated once before in the past, but it didn't last, and they figured they would be better as friends. As he walked over, she looked up and smiled.

Before he got to her desk, however, he heard a, "Dean!" and turned to find Castiel calling him over, a warm smile on his face. Dean smiled back and walked over.

"Hey, Castiel," he responded when he got there.

"Wanna sit with me?" Castiel moved his messenger bag from the second seat to the floor, freeing it up for Dean.

"Do you want me to?" Dean asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Of course I do," Castiel said, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know," Dean replied, going around the table to sit next to him. "I didn't know if you wanted to be around me since...you know..."

Castiel didn't reply, he just stared at the other boy, still visibly confused.

"Since we..." Dean paused and looked around before whispering, "_kissed_."

Castiel chuckled and shook his head. "Why wouldn't I want to be?"

Dean shrugged and pulled his sketchbook from his bag, setting it on the table. "I don't know."

"Wait," Castiel said, staring the other boy down. "Did you think I would stop liking you or something? Even though we've been texting non-stop since then?"

Dean didn't say anything, but he knew Castiel had a point. He didn't meet the other boy's eyes.

"Now who's oblivious," Castiel said with a chuckle.

"Shut up," Dean muttered with smirk.

"Man, I must really be special to make Dean Winchester insecure."

Dean looked over at him. "You are special. But I'm not insecure," He replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Suuuure you're not," Castiel said as he returned to his drawing.

Dean rolled his eyes and laughed, flipping open his sketchbook to the drawing he was working on.

"Wow, Dean. That looks really good."

Dean turned his head to find Castiel just over his shoulder, looking at the drawing.

"Cas...personal space."

Castiel squeaked and said, "Sorry," before backing off. Dean felt a little bad because he was only kidding.

"Is it really that good?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded enthusiastically. "It's really good. You're making great progress."

"Maybe it's because I have a great teacher," Dean said, smooth as butter. He smirked and watched for the other boy's reaction.

Castiel's face flushed. "Ah, I'm okay."

"Hey, stop that. You're awesome."

Castiel shrugged, but didn't press the issue further. "Dean, wanna come over after school for tutoring?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Absolutely," Dean said with a goofy smile. Castiel smiled back.

X

The final bell rang, and Dean made his way out into the school parking lot with Benny and Lucifer who were chatting enthusiastically about their winter breaks and what they got for Christmas. Dean kind of tuned them out, not really caring about Lucifer's sexual exploits.

As they made their way through the parking lot, Dean spotted Castiel over by the bike racks. His stomach did a flip, and all he could think about was how he couldn't wait to see him in half an hour. He wanted nothing more than to hug the other boy, and maybe kiss him if he would let him.

"Dean!"

Benny's voice broke his thoughts. "Huh?"

"I asked how your winter vacation was," Benny repeated. Both he and Lucifer were eyeing Dean suspiciously.

"Oh, um. It was fine."

"That's it?" Lucifer asked. "Just fine?"

"Yeah," Dean replied, trying to play it casual. "Nothing of importance happened. At Christmas we ate food, opened gifts, and went to bed."

"Right..." Lucifer said, obviously not buying it.

"You guys know my family doesn't really celebrate Christmas," Dean said, shrugging.

"Yeah, Luc. Dean has mentioned that before," Benny interjected.

There was a moment of silence with Lucifer eyeing Dean carefully. "Alright," he finally replied. "Just seems weird that neither of us have heard from you at all. Not even Jo."

"Yeah, sometimes I'm busy."

"Yeah, busy sitting with my half-brother in art."

Dean froze, his heart thumping rapidly. He swallowed carefully before saying, "Yeah, he's tutoring me."

"Tutoring you?" Lucifer asked.

"Yeah. He's helping me draw better so I can get better grades and graduate on time." Dean reached over and unzipped his backpack, pulling out his sketchbook. He handed it over to Lucifer. "See for yourself."

Lucifer grabbed the sketchbook and opened it, flipping through the pages. Benny looked over his shoulder as he did this, and after a few seconds said, "Alright. As long as it's just tutoring." He handed back the sketchbook.

Dean took it and sucked in a breath. "Yeah, and what if it wasn't? What if we were friends?"

Lucifer laughed. "Then you'd be one bold, sorry son of a bitch."

The two stared each other down as the hair on the back of Dean's neck stood up. He held his breath, hoping Lucifer couldn't see the fear behind his eyes.

After a minute, Lucifer broke his gaze and turned around, walking away. "Come on, Benny. Let's go."

Benny hesitated for a second, looking between Lucifer and Dean. "It was good seeing you, brother," he said with a nod, before turning and following Luc.

When both of them were far enough away, Dean let out the breath he was holding. He normally wasn't afraid of anyone - except maybe his father - but he knew that Luc wasn't a person to be toyed with. He didn't know exactly how bad he could get, but he never wanted to get on his bad side and find out.

Dean made his way over to his car. The parking lot was empty now except for him, even Castiel had gone home. He hopped in and tossed his bag on the passenger seat. He leaned back against the seat, eyes closed, and steadied his breathing. He wasn't looking forward to how this eventually could bite him in the ass.

After ten minutes of sitting in his car trying to calm down, he opened his eyes and started it, pulling out of the parking lot and heading in the direction of Castiel's house.


	11. Chapter 11

Castiel had just gotten home from school and was in the kitchen making a snack when he got a text from Dean. _Be there in about ten minutes._ His heart thudded in his chest when he read it. He typed back, _Okay, the door will be open_, and went back to making sandwiches.

It had been a week and a half since he and Dean hung out, and Castiel just missed the hell out of him. He didn't care if he even got to hold his hand or kiss him, he just wanted to be around him at this point. They did spend time together in art class today, but it only reinforced Castiel's need to be around him more. _Is this what it's like when you're interested in someone? _He had no idea whether or not Dean was his boyfriend, but he knew he was crazy about him and didn't want whatever was going on to end.

Ten minutes later he heard the front door open, and a "Cas?" rang out. He turned and made his way to the living room, unable to hide the smile that was creeping on his face.

"Hi, Dean," He said when he walked into the room. He stopped a few feet from the other boy, not wanting to invade his personal space.

"Hi, Cas," Dean replied, smiling. He dropped his backpack on the floor and opened his arms. "Come here."

Castiel smiled wider and walked forward, falling into Dean's embrace. The two held each other tightly, as Castiel buried his face in Dean's neck. "I missed you," Castiel mumbled.

"I missed you too, Cas," Dean replied softly.

After a few moments they pulled apart, and Castiel could feel his cheeks getting hot. He looked away and chuckled nervously. "Sorry, I don't want to invade your personal space."

Dean chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Cas, I was kidding. Invade my personal space all you want."

"Really?"

Dean nodded. "Absolutely. I want you in my personal space."

Castiel looked up at him, and they both laughed. All he wanted to do was kiss the other boy.

"Castiel, you're looking at me like I'm a piece of meat," Dean remarked.

Castiel cleared his throat. "Sorry."

Dean laughed again and moved closer, closing the space between them and pecking Castiel on the lips. When he pulled away Castiel said, "Wow, you haven't seen me for a week and that's the kiss you give me?"

"Alright Cas, calm down. Thirsty as hell." Dean replied, holding out his hand. "We have all the time in the world for more kisses."

Castiel blushed. "Right, well. Let's get upstairs then." He turned towards the stairs, but stopped when he remembered. "Oh, shit. I forgot that I made us a snack."

He left the room and came back a minute later with the sandwiches and two glasses of water. Dean took his plate and drink and said, "Castiel, you didn't need to make me a snack."

"I wanted to," He replied with a smirk.

"Well, thank you."

The two smiled at each other before turning and heading up to Castiel's room.

X

Half an hour later the two boys were sitting on Castiel's bed, holding hands as Castiel was reading a novel for English class, and Dean was attempting to draw with one hand. After a few failed tries, he set his pencil down and said, "You know, it's not easy to draw with one hand."

"Sorry," Castiel said, letting go of Dean's hand. As he did this, Dean stared at him.

"I kind of didn't want you to stop."

Castiel chuckled and said, "Make up your mind."

Dean pursed his lips and looked up, thinking for a moment. "Yeah, I've made up my mind. Hold my hand."

Castiel chuckled again and grabbed Dean's hand, lacing their fingers together. "How are you gonna draw, then?"

"I'm not," Dean responded, moving closer to the other boy and resting his chin on his shoulder. "I'm just gonna sit here for a while."

"Dean, you know you've gotta practice."

"Cas, I've been practicing for weeks. Let me just enjoy being with my boyfriend for a while, okay?"

Castiel froze when the word left Dean's mouth. _Boyfriend_. Dean appeared to freeze too, panic clouding over his eyes.

"Sorry," Dean finally said after a moment. "I know we haven't talked about it at all. It was-"

"No," Castiel interrupted. "I like being called your boyfriend." He turned his head to get a better look at the other boy. "If you're okay with that, of course."

"Absolutely," Dean replied. "Zero objections here."

Castiel laughed and turned his body more towards Dean, kissing him. After a few seconds they broke apart, and Dean rested his chin back on Castiel's shoulder and wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist, hugging him from behind. He yawned.

"Tired?" Castiel asked.

"Mhm," Dean responded, closing his eyes. "I haven't been getting much sleep. Sam's been having nightmares."

Castiel gave the other boy a sympathetic look. He lifted his hand and ran it through Dean's hair. "I'm sorry. I know what that's like."

Dean opened his eyes and looked up at him. "Yeah? Did you have nightmares after what happened?"

Castiel nodded slowly. "Michael had a hell of a time dealing with me. He ended up taking me to a therapist and we got through it."

"So no more nightmares?"

Castiel shook his head. "No, I still have them. They're just not as often and I can handle them better."

"So, if I took Sammy to a therapist he might not get better?" Dean asked.

Castiel grew quiet for a moment, looking away. "Mental illness can be complicated, Dean. People tend to think it's like a cold or a stomachache, that it'll go away with rest and medicine. The reality? Rest and medicine can make it more manageable, along with a proper support system and coping mechanisms. But it doesn't ever go away."

A silence hung between them for a while before Castiel said, "I have post-traumatic stress disorder."

Castiel didn't look at Dean, but he could feel the other boy's eyes on him. "Cas...I'm so sorry."

He half shrugged. "It's okay. I have it managed a lot better now, but it was pretty bad for a while. Nightmares are part of the symptoms."

Castiel could feel Dean's arms tighten slightly, almost protectively. "I hate that your father did that to you," he said.

"Me too," Castiel agreed. "But I can't change it. All I can do is keep going."

"How bad did it get for you?" Dean asked quietly.

Castiel let out a slow, deep breath. "Other than the nightmares? I got awful anxiety. I started having panic attacks a lot, when I'd never really had them before. I got really depressed too. I started being afraid to go anywhere or do anything because I was afraid my father would be there. I was constantly on edge, constantly looking over my shoulder, constantly irritated. I got really spacey a lot, couldn't focus or concentrate or remember things like I used to. Things like that."

Castiel felt his eyes start to water, and he swallowed carefully, trying to keep the tears at bay. But he couldn't control it and a few slipped out. Dean must have seen this, because he dropped his arms from around Castiel's waist, and placed a hand on his chin, turning his face to look at him.

"Castiel, it's okay," Dean said as he wiped the younger boy's tears away. Castiel tried to blink away the tears, but he just started fully crying at that point. Dean pulled Castiel into his lap and wrapped his arms around him, holding him as he sobbed into Dean's neck.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Castiel finally stopped crying. He rubbed his sore eyes and mumbled, "I'm sorry," into Dean's neck.

"No, don't be," Dean replied. "You can cry if you need to. I won't judge."

"I feel like a child sometimes with how much I cry," Castiel said quietly.

"Isn't that part of the PTSD? I mean, any mental illness. You cry a lot, because you're feeling a lot of different emotions."

"Yeah...that's true."

"Cas, it's okay. Whatever you need to do to work through it, you do it. So long as you're not hurting yourself or someone else."

Castiel looked up at Dean, locking eyes. "You're right," he said with a small smile.

"See, I know things about things. I may not be book smart, but I'm life smart." Dean returned the smile, and the two chuckled.

"Yes, Dean. You're the wisest of all."

"Alright, no need to be snarky, Cas." He stopped suddenly. "Shit, I keep calling you Cas. I'm sorry, I've been trying to catch myself but it still slips through."

"It's okay," Castiel responded, looking at his hands. "I actually don't mind anymore."

"_What_?" Dean asked, surprised. "You corrected me on that for weeks, and now you're okay with it?"

Castiel nodded and looked up. "I've changed my mind. It's grown on me. But I don't want anyone but you calling me that."

"Ah, I understand now," Dean said with a smirk. "It's because you like me. That makes sense."

"Dean Winchester, how dare you assume I like you," Castiel teased. "I just kiss you because it's fun."

"Oh wow, so you don't like me? Well, I guess I can just go-"

"No!" Castiel interjected. "I like you, I like you. Jeez." He hugged Dean tighter as the Winchester boy laughed.

"Okay, good. You had me worried for a second."

Castiel laughed as Dean let out another yawn. "Dean, take a nap."

"Here?" Dean asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah," Castiel said.

"What about you?"

"I'll take a nap too."

"Oh, so are you just trying to get me in your bed, Cas?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"You're already in my bed, Dean," Castiel pointed out, rolling his eyes.

"Right," Dean replied, pulling away from Castiel and laying on the bed. "Okay, but I get to be the big spoon."

Castiel laughed as he turned over, tossing their homework on the floor. He crawled over to the head of the bed and laid next to Dean, his back to the boy. Dean draped an arm over Castiel and snuggled closer, his face inches away from him. Castiel felt Dean's breath on the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and listened to Dean's breathing as it steadied, and slowly drifted off to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean opened his eyes to a white ceiling. _Where am I?_ He blinked a few times, trying to figure out what he last remembered. _I was at Castiel's and we fell asleep_, _that's right_.

He sat up and looked around. Wait, he wasn't in Castiel's room. He was in his room at his old house, the one he and Sam lived in with John. He looked around, confused, and found that Castiel was no longer laying next to him. He was alone.

"Cas?" He said, hoping for a response. But there was nothing, except for mumbled voices in the distance.

Dean swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, looking around. He hadn't been to his house in two weeks, why was he back here? He rubbed his head, trying to remember, but he couldn't. The muffled voices in the distance grew louder, and he realized they were coming from downstairs.

Dean cautiously opened his bedroom door, and started down the hallway, looking around. Everything seemed normal, that is, until the walls started cracking.

It was quiet at first, but soon enough the sound filled Dean's ears. He watched as the walls cracked around him with every step. He lifted his arms over his head, trying to protect himself from the falling debris. As the cracking picked up, Dean started running in an attempt to get away from it, but it followed him the entire way down the hallway.

He finally reached the top of the stairs and started down them, the walls still cracking as he went. As he took the first few steps down, he felt the stairs shifting underneath him. He ran down them faster as the stairs started to crumble and fall apart behind him. He barely made it to the bottom before the entire staircase gave way, and he had to jump to avoid falling with it.

Dean landed face down on the floor, smashing his nose. He groaned, and pushed himself up to his knees after a few seconds. He was in his kitchen now. He looked around, but everything was normal, even the staircase that had just crumbled was intact. The cracking had stopped.

Dean stood up, dusting himself off and touching his nose, assuming it would be broken from the fall, but even that was back to normal. The muffled voices he was hearing were clearer now, and he could make out every word.

"You're a worthless piece of shit."

Dean turned around, familiar with the voice now. _Dad_. He made his way into the living room, his muscles clenched in a mix of fear and anger. When he walked into the room he saw John Winchester standing over Sam, twirling a knife in his hand. Dean's breath hitched in his throat, eyes wide in horror.

"Do you know what happens to disrespectful little boys?" John asked. Sam shook his head and he continued, "They get punished."

Dean watched as John pulled the knife back, getting ready to strike. His stomach lurched.

"Sammy!" Dean shouted, alerting both to his presence. But when Sam turned, he realized it wasn't Sam at all. The face that was staring back at him was his own.

Dean gasped and looked between his doppelgänger and his father, wondering what was happening. John looked up at him, a wicked smile on his face. He stared Dean down as he pulled back and shoved the knife into the second Dean's chest.

X

Dean awoke suddenly, hyperventilating. He looked around and realized he wasn't home, but was in Castiel's bed in his room. His breathing slowed as he started to get his bearings. _It was only a dream_.

Dean wiped the sweat from his forehead as he sat up. Castiel was still sound asleep next to him. Dean covered his face with his hands, trying to steady his breathing. This was the third time in the past week that he had a nightmare - and the second one centering around John. He was getting concerned about it.

Dean lied to Castiel about the nightmares. Sam hadn't been having any, as far as Dean knew. It was all him. But he was afraid to talk about it. He didn't want to worry Castiel or make him think it was something he couldn't handle himself. Besides, it only happened a couple times. He would tell him if it got worse.

Dean finally got himself to calm down after a few minutes. He glanced over at Castiel, who was still asleep next to him. _Adorable_, Dean thought. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone to check the time; it was five-thirty. He supposed he should wake Castiel up, but he wasn't ready to just yet. He needed a few minutes to collect his thoughts.

Everything had been pretty stressful since Christmas Eve. Dean and Bobby were figuring out the proper channels to go through so Dean could file to become Sam's legal guardian when he turned eighteen later that month. He knew that there'd likely be some sort of hearing, where he would potentially have to see his father again, and he wasn't looking forward to it. He would've been content with not ever seeing John Winchester again.

After a couple minutes, Dean decided he was calmed down. He resolved to wake Castiel up by running his fingers through the other boy's hair and softly saying, "Cas."

A few seconds later Castiel's eyes fluttered open. "Hm?"

"It's five-thirty. Time to wake up."

Castiel groaned. "Five more minutes."

Dean chuckled. "No, not five more minutes. I have to go home shortly."

Castiel rolled onto his back sleepily, and opened his arms. "Five more minutes of cuddling," he corrected.

"Alright, five more minutes," Dean said, lying back down next to the other boy and putting his arm around him.

Castiel grabbed Dean's hand and put it back in his hair. "I like it when you run your fingers through my hair," he mumbled, looking over at Dean.

Dean laughed. "You're adorable."

Castiel shook his head. "No, you are."

Dean laughed again and gave Castiel a peck on the lips. "Feeling more well rested?" He asked.

"Nope," Castiel replied. "Naps actually make me feel more groggy and out of it."

"Then why'd you take one?"

"Because you were tired and you needed a nap, and I wanted you to stay," Castiel said with a shrug. "Plus, cuddles."

"Cas, you don't have to take a nap just because I'm taking one," Dean pointed out.

"I know. But it's kind of nice when you can sleep next to someone." Castiel gave Dean a warm smile.

Dean didn't respond, he just snuggled up closer to the other boy. They laid like that for a couple minutes until they heard the front door close downstairs. "Castiel?"

The two boys sat up quickly, startled by the sudden noise. "Shit, Michael's home," Castiel hissed as he stood up and gathered their homework that was thrown haphazardly on the floor earlier.

"What, does he not like me or something?" Dean asked, standing too.

"It's not that. He just isn't too fond of me having boys in my bed. Especially not with the door closed."

Castiel brought their homework over to the desk and arranged it so it looked like they'd been working for a while. "Sit," he instructed, gesturing for Dean to take a seat in one of the chairs. "And look busy."

Dean obeyed, sitting in one of the chairs and pulling out his sketchbook. He flipped to the correct page and started drawing again. They heard footsteps on the stairs, and Castiel quietly opened his door and then took his place next to Dean, grabbing his book.

A few seconds later Michael walked in. "Hey Castiel," he said. "Oh, Dean. I didn't realize you were here for tutoring today."

Dean looked up at the older boy. "Yeah, Cas suggested we get back into it since we're back from winter break."

Michael nodded and turned his attention to Castiel, who Dean noticed was trying to maintain his poker face. "Anna and Gabriel are coming over on Sunday for family dinner. Jared's coming."

"Oh awesome," Castiel replied with a smile.

"Who's Jared?" Dean asked, looking between the two brothers.

"Gabriel's long-term boyfriend," Castiel said. "We're hoping they get engaged soon."

"Ah, okay." Dean nodded.

"You should join us for dinner on Sunday, Dean," Michael interjected. "We'd love to get to know the person my brother's been so infatuated with."

Dean heard Castiel squeak next to him and say, "_Michael_!"

"Oh, sorry, was I not supposed to know?" Michael asked with a chuckle. "It's not like it wasn't obvious, Castiel."

Dean looked over at Castiel, whose face had turned a shade of red. "That's not true."

Michael nodded and said, "Right. No, you just smile at your phone every time you get a text from him and you get flustered whenever I bring him up. But okay, it's not true."

Castiel looked between Dean and Michael before groaning and hiding his face behind his book. Dean and Michael both started laughing.

"You know what, I'd love to come," Dean said after they both calmed down. "What time?"

"Six o'clock," Michael responded.

Dean held up a finger gun and said, "I'll be there." Castiel just groaned again. Dean turned to look at him. "Oh come on, Cas. It'll be fun."

"Cas?" Michael questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Castiel lowered his book and looked at his brother. "It's a nickname," he stated slowly.

"I know that, but you don't let anyone give you nicknames."

Castiel didn't say anything, he just turned more red. Michael chuckled and said, "Alright, well, I'll let you guys get back to work."

He nodded at both of them and then disappeared back down the hall. When they were sure he was out of earshot Castiel said, "How the hell did he know about us?"

Dean shook his head, laughing. "Apparently because someone can't contain their emotions."

Castiel shoved Dean playfully. "Shut up!"

"Well, it's good to know that I get you all hot and bothered whenever we text."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Didn't you say you had to get home?"

"Wow, so you don't want me around? I see how it is."

"I do, you're just being a pain in my ass right now," Castiel shot back, a smile creeping up on his face.

"Alright, alright, I'll go. I know when I'm not wanted," Dean replied, standing up. He gathered his books and shoved them into his bag.

"Text me when you get home."

"Oh, I'm planning on it," Dean said with a wink. "Now come say goodbye."

Castiel stood up and walked over, hugging Dean tightly. After a few seconds they pulled back, and Dean grabbed Castiel's face, kissing him softly. When they broke apart Dean said, "Now that's a goodbye."

Castiel laughed. "Dean Winchester, what am I gonna do with you?"

Dean shrugged. "Keep me around, I hope."

Castiel laughed again and said, "I plan on it."

A goofy smile formed on Dean's face. "Alright, well, I have to get home to Sam. Try not to miss me too much."

"Dean, you always say that, and I always miss you like crazy," Castiel pointed out. "But get home safe, okay?"

Dean nodded and blew Castiel a kiss. Castiel blushed and waved him off. Dean turned and made his way out of the room and down the stairs before leaving the house to head home.


	13. Chapter 13

The rest of the week passed by quickly. School was about the same, though the teachers and staff were buzzing about college applications and how the students needed to focus on spicing them up with extracurricular activities. Castiel didn't pay them much mind, considering he had already submitted his applications to his chosen colleges, but that didn't stop his teachers from talking to him about college anyways.

Castiel was tired of talking about college. The anticipation of waiting for a response from his top schools was too much for him. He just wanted to focus on high school homework and drawing...and Dean Winchester.

The two boys had been talking nonstop, which only made them grow closer. Dean started sitting with Castiel in art class everyday, and they even talked about him potentially joining Castiel and Garth at their lunch table. Castiel was surprised at how much he was liking Dean.

It was Sunday now, the night of their family dinner. Dean was coming, just as promised, and Castiel was excited to see him. But he was also worried about Dean meeting his siblings. They could be pretty overbearing when it came to him, and sometimes he hated it. He knew they meant well, but it still was stressful.

It was getting close to five o'clock, and Castiel was getting ready. He dug through his closet, looking for the right outfit to wear. He knew it didn't matter, but he wanted to look nice. After trying on several shirts and tossing them to the floor, he settled on a blue sweater and a pair of jeans. Not too fancy, but nice enough.

As he was checking himself out in the mirror, he felt his phone buzz on his desk. He picked it up and opened it to find a text from Dean: _I don't know what to wear. Help?_ Castiel chuckled and sent a response: _What options do you have?_

A few seconds later he got a selfie from Dean. He was wearing a dark blue button up, no tie, and black slacks. Simple, yet nice. _I like that one, what else do you have?_ Castiel typed.

A few more seconds passed and he got another selfie, only this one featured a shirtless Dean. He was smiling coyly in the picture, and wearing nothing but the black slacks. Castiel's face turned red and he covered it. _Dean, what the fuck_.

_C: I like the first one. _

_D: What? Not even going to mention the second one? _

_C: I figured it was better to not even engage. _

_D: Wow, that speechless, huh? _

_C: No, I just feel like sometimes that's the best way to deal with your shenanigans. _

_D: "Shenanigans"? You're calling my very obvious interest in you "shenanigans"? I'm offended. _

_C: You just have a way of choosing the worst times for it. _

_D: Oh, are you busy? Sorry, didn't realize. _

_C: I'm not, but the last thing I need is to be thinking about you being half naked. _

_D: Oh, so you do think about me naked? Duly noted. _

_C: Very funny. Please don't come to my house shirtless. _

_D: First outfit. Got it. _

Castiel set his phone down, trying to regain his composure. _Of course Dean would._ He let out a long sigh and cleared his throat, trying not to let his mind wander and think about Dean's naked body. When he finally calmed down, he grabbed his phone and headed downstairs.

Michael was in the kitchen making dinner when Castiel walked in. "Hey, need any help?"

Michael looked over at him. "Yeah, can you start cutting the carrots?"

"Sure," Castiel replied, and searched for the knife and cutting board.

"You're looking nice, I wonder why," Michael said, teasingly.

"Michael, please don't embarrass me," Castiel said with a roll of his eyes.

"Sorry, I'm just happy for you, Castiel."

Castiel pulled out the cutting board and set it down on the counter. He looked over at Michael. "I know, and thank you. I just don't want you guys making it weird."

Michael nodded. "Okay, I'll try my best. I can't say the same for Gabe and Anna, though."

Castiel sighed. "Well, one is better than none."

The two continued prepping dinner for an hour before the doorbell. Castiel wiped off his hands and went to answer the door. Dean stood on his front steps, dressed in the first outfit he had sent Castiel a picture of earlier. _Thank God_.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said with a smirk.

"Hi, Dean."

Castiel let the other boy inside and shut the door. The two then returned to the kitchen where Michael was finishing up dinner.

"Hello Dean," Michael greeted, holding out his hand.

Dean took it and they shook. "Hello, Michael. Need any help with dinner?"

"Nah," Michael replied with a wave of his hand. "Castiel and I have it covered. It's just about done, actually."

At that moment, they heard the front door close and heard a, "Hellooooo?" Gabriel and Anna were there. Castiel let out a heavy sigh. _Here we go_.

The three of them made their way into the dinning room to find Anna, Gabriel, and Jared in the front entranceway, pulling off their coats. "Jared!" Castiel exclaimed, running over and hugging the taller man.

"Hey, bud!" Jared said, ruffling Castiel's already messy hair.

"Wow, no love for us?" Gabriel asked.

"Sorry," Castiel replied, and he hugged his siblings.

"I brought a casserole," Anna said with a smile. She walked forward and handed it to Michael.

"So, this must be the boy our little Castiel is infatuated with."

"Gabe," Castiel groaned.

Dean chuckled and held out a hand. "Dean Winchester."

Gabe took it and shook. "Gabriel Mars. This is my fiancé, Jared Campbell."

"Wait," Castiel interrupted. "Fiancé?"

Gabriel smiled. "I was going to wait until dinner but..." He lifted his left hand to show an engagement ring on his ring finger. "Jared and I are engaged now."

"Congrats!" Michael cheered, clapping Jared on the shoulder. "Welcome to the family."

"Thank you," Jared said with a smile and a dip of his head.

"Finally," Anna teased, a smile forming on her face. "I'm Anna Milton, by the way." She turned to Dean and smiled.

"Nice to meet you," Dean replied.

"Alright, we should probably eat dinner before it gets cold," Michael said, gesturing for everyone to follow him into the dinning room.

X

Ten minutes later they were all sitting around the dinner table. The food had been passed around, and there was nothing but the sounds of chewing and silverware clinking as they ate. Castiel tried to steady his breathing, still nervous about what his siblings would say. He hoped that they wouldn't say something to scare Dean away.

Gabriel swallowed a mouthful of food and said. "So, Dean-o. How'd you and my brother meet?"

Castiel swallowed carefully as Dean said, "School. We're in the same art class."

"Yes, I started tutoring him," Castiel mumbled.

"Ah, okay. You used the thing my brother loves the most to get his attention. Got it," Gabriel said with a wink.

Castiel shot his brother a look and said, "No, he just needed some help."

"Sure..." Gabriel replied, obviously not buying it.

Castiel rolled his eyes. "You're a pain, Gabe."

"Castiel," Michael warned. "Relax. You too, Gabriel."

Gabriel returned to his food with a shrug. "Relax, bro, I'm just trying to get to know him."

"You need some new methods," Jared piped in, and Castiel giggled.

"What's wrong with my methods?" Gabriel asked incredulously.

Jared shook his head. "Oh nothing, you just tend to be...what's the word? Oh, _abrasive_."

"Me? Abrasive?" Gabriel looked over at Jared, his hand on his chest.

Jared laughed in response. "Yes, you."

"Well, I'm offended," Gabe replied, picking up a forkful of food.

"You'll get over it."

The whole table broke out into a fit of giggles as Gabriel scoffed and crossed his arms. Jared saw this and leaned over, kissing Gabe on the cheek. "Don't worry, we still love you. Just, learn when to tone it down," he said.

Gabriel pursed his lips. "Fine, you're right. Sorry, Castiel."

"Always am," Jared muttered, returning back to his meal.

Anna looked over at Castiel and Dean with a smile. "So Dean, tell us about yourself. Tell us about your family," she said.

Castiel froze briefly. He didn't want Dean to reveal his home situation because he knew how the others would react. If the way they treated Castiel after the abuse said anything, it's that they would be overly sympathetic, and maybe even overprotective.

"Maybe some other time-"

"No, Cas, it's okay," Dean interrupted. "I'm a baseball player, hoping to go into auto mechanics after high school. I have a little brother named Sam, and I live with my Uncle Bobby."

"That's nice, Dean. Are you a good player?" Anna asked.

"Well, I don't wanna brag or nothing, but, I'm probably the best," Dean replied, a sly smile on his face.

"Who knew our baby brother would be into an athlete?" Anna beamed at them.

"Anna," Castiel groaned. His face was turning a light shade of pink.

"Sorry," she replied. "I'm just happy for you, Castiel."

"It's okay Cas," Dean interjected. "They care about you, and they mean well." He placed his hand on Castiel's leg under the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. Castiel squeaked softly and nodded, his face turning even more pink. Dean turned his attention back to the rest of the table, smiling as if nothing happened. _Dammit, Dean Winchester_.

"Right," Michael agreed. "We just want to make sure Castiel is happy."

Castiel cleared his throat. "I am." He looked over at his older brother and saw a flash of concern on his face. "Really, I am," Castiel repeated. "I'd tell you if I wasn't."

The two held each other's gaze for a moment. Finally Michael nodded, the concern clearly gone now. "Good."

"So Gabriel," Castiel said, looking at his brother. "Tell us how the engagement went."

X

The six of them were gathered around the front door as Anna, Gabriel, and Jared prepared to leave. They'd finished their meal hours ago and migrated to the living room to talk and play board games. Castiel was worried, but he had begun to relax as the night went on. His siblings seemed to like Dean, and Dean seemed to like them too.

They stopped grilling Dean on his home life, thankfully, and moved on to asking him about his future. What he wanted to do with his life, where he wanted to go to college, things like that. Castiel wished they wouldn't ask, but Dean didn't seem to mind. They stopped asking questions after a while and focused on playing the board game anyways. When they realized it was almost nine o'clock, they decided it was time to pack up and head home.

Gabriel, Anna, and Jared were putting on their coats and saying their goodbyes, as they hugged their two other siblings.

"We'll see you next month?" Michael asked, patting Gabriel on the back.

"Maybe sooner for some wedding arrangements," Gabriel replied. "Dean, you're invited to the wedding too."

Dean - who had been leaning against the wall opposite the door with his arms crossed - chuckled. "Thanks, Gabe. I appreciate it."

Gabriel walked over and shook Dean's hand. "Of course. Any boyfriend of Castiel's is part of the family."

Castiel rolled his eyes at the mention of "boyfriend", but didn't say anything else. After they said their goodbyes, Gabriel, Anna, and Jared headed home. Castiel let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"So, what'd you think?" He asked, turning to Dean.

"They're really nice," Dean replied. "They seem to care about you a lot."

"Yeah," Castiel said with a half-shrug. "They do. Sometimes a little too much. Sorry they asked so many questions."

Dean shook his head and waved his hand. "It's expected when you meet someone's family for the first time. No sweat."

Castiel looked at Dean, a smile crossing his face. Dean smiled back. After a few moments, Michael cleared his throat. "So, I'm gonna start the clean up. I'll give you guys a few minutes to say your goodbyes. When you're ready Castiel, you can come join me."

Castiel looked away, having forgotten that Michael was still standing there. He nodded, a blush forming on his cheeks.

Michael turned to Dean and extended his hand. "It was nice seeing you, Dean. You're welcome back anytime."

Dean took Michael's hand and shook it, smiling. "Thank you, sir. It was nice seeing you too."

Michael smiled back and then headed out into the kitchen, giving the boys some privacy.

As soon as Michael was gone, Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and hugged him tightly. He buried his face into Dean's neck and breathed deeply. Dean laughed, surprised at the sudden action, but returned the hug. "You were waiting to do that, weren't you?"

"Mmhmm," Castiel mumbled. "All night."

Dean chuckled and ran his fingers through Castiel's hair. Castiel sighed, practically melting in Dean's arms.

"I do have to go home, you know," Dean said after a while. "Sam and Bobby are probably worried about me."

"I know," Castiel replied. "I just need a couple minutes."

Castiel lifted his head to look at the other boy. Dean was watching him, a soft smile on his face. They locked eyes for a moment, and then Dean turned his head and kissed him. Castiel's eyes closed and he sighed. They kissed for a while before pulling apart, Castiel's breath now ragged. He cleared his throat and looked away, blushing.

"Getting a little excited there, Cas?" Dean asked, chuckling.

"Shut up," Castiel replied, blushing harder.

"There's no need to be ashamed, Cas. It's a natural reaction when you're around someone this attractive."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "A little bit full of yourself now, aren't you, Dean?"

"Are you saying you're not attracted to me?"

Castiel shrugged. "I'm not. Or am I?" He said with a smirk.

Dean's mouth dropped open. "Wow. I called you a stud a couple weeks ago, and you tell me you don't find me attractive at all? I'm offended."

"You'll be fine," Castiel said with a laugh.

"I guess I'll just go then," Dean said, pulling away and turning towards the door.

"No," Castiel said, grabbing Dean's arm. Dean turned to look at him and Castiel leaned forward, kissing him. After a few seconds he pulled away and said, "I was kidding."

"I know," Dean replied with a wink. "Goodnight, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

The Winchester boy smirked and turned, heading out the front door. Castiel watched as he headed down the front steps and got in his car, driving away. When Dean was out of sight, Castiel closed the front door and headed back to the kitchen to find Michael putting away leftovers.

"Dean head home?" He asked, not looking up from his container.

"Yes," Castiel replied. He walked over to the counter and started gathering dishes and bringing them to the sink. "What do you think of him?"

Michael stopped what he was doing and looked over. "I think he's a good kid. I'm happy for you."

"Are you sure?" Castiel asked. "Because at dinner you looked a little worried."

Michael chuckled. "Yeah, cause I'm your big brother. I'm supposed to be worried. I just want what's best for you."

"Don't you trust me? Don't you trust my decisions?" Castiel's voice was stern now.

A silence hung in the air between them before Michael said, "I do trust you."

"Then trust me when I say that I'm happy and that this is what I want."

Michael sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry." He walked over to his younger brother. "I just worry because you're my little brother, I'm supposed to worry. And I'm going to, especially after what happened with Dad."

Castiel looked up at his brother. "I know. But please trust me. You know I will come to you if anything happens."

Michael nodded. "You're right. You're a tough kid, I shouldn't worry so much." He opened his arms and hugged Castiel. "I love you, bud."

"I love you too, Michael," Castiel replied, returning the hug. "Thank you."

They broke apart the hug and looked at each other, smiling. "Alright, we've got some cleaning to do," Michael said.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you all so much for all the support! This chapter is gonna get a little steamy *wiggles eyebrow* so I hope you all enjoy!

X

Dean Winchester was jolted awake by the buzzing of a cell phone. His eyes snapped open and he looked around, groggy and confused. The buzzing continued, vibrating the table next to his bed as it did so, causing him to jump before he realized what was going on.

Dean rolled over groggily and reached over, patting the table until he felt his fingers touch the phone. He closed his hand around it and grabbed it, still vibrating in his hand. He sleepily checked the caller ID; it was Castiel. _Why is he calling this early?_ Dean asked himself. Although, he couldn't be too mad. At least the call pulled him from another nightmare.

Dean clicked the green button, and pressed the phone to his ear. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand and grunted, "Hello."

"Hello, Dean!" Castiel's voice rang excitedly on the other end. "Happy Birthday!"

Dean coughed a bit, clearing his throat. He forgot it was his birthday. All the excitement and busyness of the last couple of weeks kept him distracted. "What time is it?" He asked.

"Eight in the morning," Castiel replied, casually. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, just a bit," Dean mumbled, hardly hiding the annoyance in his voice. "Why are you up so early?"

"What do you mean? I'm always up at this time. We get up long before this for school."

"Yeah, for _school_," Dean reiterated. "It's a Saturday. You know, the day we sleep in?"

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't realize you slept in longer."

Dean could detect a hint of sadness in the other boy's voice, and he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "No, Cas, I'm sorry. I'm a bit grumpy when I get woken up," he said. "Just, make sure not to call before like ten on our days off from school, okay?"

"Okay, Dean," Castiel replied. "I'm sorry. I'll let you get back to sleep. I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday."

"No, don't go," Dean said quickly, forcing his eyes open. "I'm awake now. Talk to me."

"Well, I was wondering what you have planned for the day."

"Nothing, really. We never usually celebrate my birthday."

"Well, would you like to hang out later? We can do anything you want."

"Anything?" Dean asked curiously.

"Anything," Castiel repeated. "What would you like to do?"

Dean thought for a moment. He could go with the stereotypical "Dean" joke answer - sneaking some alcohol, finding some chick to bang - but decided against it. He was too tired for jokes, and didn't want Castiel to feel put off by it. Instead, he opted for something he knew they'd both enjoy.

"Honestly," Dean started, "you know we've been dating for about a month now and we've never gone on an actual date?"

There was a short silence on the other end before Castiel said, "No, I guess we haven't. But Dean, this is _your_ day."

"That's right, and I want to take you out. Nothing too fancy, but an actual date."

"Where to?" Castiel asked curiously.

"Don't worry about that, you'll find out later. Just be dressed and ready by five thirty, okay?"

"Okay," Castiel agreed. "What should I wear?"

Dean licked his bottom lip, a small smile forming on his face. "Well, I'd prefer if you didn't wear anything, but you can't really go out in public like that, so I guess just wear something nice."

Castiel made a noise on the other end of the phone, then said, "Goddammit, Dean."

Dean barely could hold back his laughter at this point, his face breaking out into the biggest shit-eating grin he'd ever had. "Just wear something that you're comfortable in. Like that blue button-up," he responded when he finally got himself to calm down.

Dean heard Castiel clear his throat before saying, "Blue button-up. Got it."

"I'll see you later, Cas."

"See you later, Dean."

X

Around five o'clock Dean was showered and changed into a nice pair of slacks and a flannel button down. He combed his hair neatly to the side, and used a bit of cologne. He was worried that Sam and Bobby would notice his outfit and question him. He hadn't yet told them about Castiel, nor did he even tell them he was bisexual. He wanted to avoid that conversation for a little while.

Dean breathed into his palm and smelled it, checking to make sure his breath was fresh. When he realized it was, he grabbed his coat and headed downstairs. Sam and Bobby were in the living room, each buried in their own books. _Good, maybe they'll be too distracted to notice._

Dean reached the bottom of the stairs with a light _thud_ and looked into the room, watching the two not pay him any attention. "I'm heading out," he announced, hoping they would acknowledge him without looking up. But then, almost as if the universe had it out for him, both Sam and Bobby looked up at Dean at the same time.

"Where you goin' dressed all fancy?" Bobby asked, watching him carefully.

"Out," Dean replied as sweat started to form on his palms.

"Out?" Bobby questioned with a raise of his eyebrows. "Out where? With who?"

"Jeez, Bobby, what's with the interrogation?" Dean chuckled lightly, trying to keep his breath steady. "I'm eighteen now."

Bobby stared at Dean, his lips forming a tight line. Without faltering his gaze, he set the book down on the table next to him and stood up, slowly walking over to Dean. Sam looked from Dean to Bobby quickly, both slightly frightened and amused. Dean held his breath, afraid that he just poked a sleeping bear.

"Eighteen or not, you're still under my roof," Bobby started. "If you're going to be somewhere other than school, I'd like to know about it. Gives me some damn piece of mind. Understood?"

Dean nodded. "Okay, sorry. I...I have a date."

Bobby said nothing for a minute, still staring at Dean. After a few moments he seemed to soften a bit, and said, "Where to?"

"The movies," Dean replied.

"Dean's got a girlfriend!" Sam sang from his place on the other side of the room once he noticed Bobby had calmed down.

Dean looked over at him, grinning. "What are you, five?"

Sam chuckled and picked up his book again, muttering, "Jerk."

"Bitch," Dean shot back, the smile never falling from his face.

"Alright, well if you two are done, I'd like to get back to my book," Bobby said with a roll of his eyes. "Don't be out too late. If you're gonna be late, call me."

"Yes, sir."

X

A half hour later Dean pulled up to Castiel's house and shot him a text saying that he arrived. He glanced in his rearview mirror, making sure his hair was still combed nicely. He checked his breath one more time, despite having done it earlier. He shouldn't have been nervous, but this was the first real date the two had gone on. He just wanted everything to go perfectly.

A couple moments later, Castiel walked out of his house and to the passenger door of the Impala. Before he even got there, Dean was out of his seat and around the other side, opening Castiel's door for him.

"Dean, you don't have to hold my door open for me," Castiel said with a smile.

"Hush, you. I said I was gonna take you out, so we're gonna do this right." Dean smiled back, leaning forward and pecking Castiel on the lips. "Hello, by the way."

"Hi, Dean," Castiel responded. The two locked eyes and stared for a few seconds. Dean could see every speck of the different blues in them, which was absolutely mesmerizing. After a few minutes he broke eye contact, clearing his throat, before saying, "We should probably get going."

Castiel nodded. "Right." He climbed into his seat and Dean shut the door behind him before heading back around to the driver's side and getting in. They started down the street to the first destination: a quaint little diner up near their high school.

They drove in silence as Dean tapped his thumbs on the wheel along to the Metallica song that was dripping from his car speakers. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Castiel looking over at him, watching him. "What?" Dean finally asked after the fifth time.

Castiel shook his head. "Nothing...just admiring."

Dean glanced over at the other boy, a warm smile burning into his soul. Dean couldn't help but smile back. "Well, take a picture. It'll last longer," he joked.

Castiel chuckled and looked out at the road in front of him. "So you don't want me admiring you?"

"I didn't say that," Dean said almost defensively. He tried to catch himself before he came off as such, but it was too late, Castiel had already heard.

"Defensive, are we?" Castiel teased.

"Shut up," Dean grumbled. He tried to hide the smile on his face, but there was no use.

Castiel laughed and looked over at Dean. "You know what would make this drive even more perfect?"

"What?" Dean asked with a puzzled look.

"If you held one of my hands while you drove. Preferably my left one."

Dean chuckled immediately. "Are you using my pick-up line?"

"Maybe. Did it work?"

Dean looked over at Castiel, who was sitting there with the dorkiest grin on his face. His heart skipped a beat, and he sighed, reaching over and taking Castiel's hand. Their fingers interlocked together. "Ah, so it did work," Castiel affirmed.

"Yeah, it did," Dean said with a smile.

Finally they reached the diner, and the two hopped out and headed inside. Before they got to the door, Dean grabbed Castiel's hand again. Castiel watched this and smiled at the other boy.

"Shall we go inside?" Dean asked with a wave of his hand.

"Absolutely."

X

The two spent the next hour at the diner talking, eating, laughing, and throwing straw wrappers and ketchup packets back and forth at each other when the other wasn't looking. For the first time in a while, Dean felt comfortable and happy. He wasn't looking over his shoulder, afraid that his father would show up and attack him. He wasn't even thinking about the custody hearing coming up in a couple weeks that meant seeing John again. All he cared about at that moment was Castiel.

When they were finished they got in the car and headed to a movie theater. Dean didn't really know what movie to pick, so they ended up seeing a horror film centered around Valentine's Day. Though the main cast was attractive, Dean and Castiel both agreed that it wasn't that interesting plot-wise.

After the movie, Dean drove Castiel back home, holding hands the entire time, talking about random things - their favorite movies, what music they listen to, what tv shows they liked. Castiel generally listened to classical music, especially when drawing alone in his room, while Dean liked classic rock. Dean watched a lot of action movies and tv shows, while Castiel prefered realistic fiction and fantasy fiction. They got so lost in conversation, that they almost didn't realize when Dean pulled up to Castiel's house.

"Wow, back already," Dean pointed out. "That was fast."

"Time flies when you're having fun," Castiel replied with a shrug. Dean looked over at the other boy, smiling. "You have a nice smile, Dean."

Dean felt his face get hot. "Thanks, so do you." He watched Castiel for a moment before leaning forward and saying, "Now give me a kiss goodbye."

Castiel watched Dean, eyes never moving. "Why does it have to be goodbye? Come inside."

Dean felt his stomach do a flip. "Aren't you worried that Michael will crash this party?"

"Michael's working the night shift."

Dean's heart hammered in his chest as he looked at Castiel. He saw a flash of something in his eyes - longing? Flirting? - whatever it was, it was gone as quick as it came. He bit his lip and smiled. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

Castiel chuckled. "I'm _suggesting _that you come inside for a while."

Before Dean could say anything else, Castiel opened his door and hopped out, heading up his front steps. Dean watched him, admiring the other boy's ass, before hopping out himself and following.

When they got inside, Castiel started straight upstairs with no other word. Dean quickly closed the front door and followed, trying to keep up. "Slow down, Cas. Jeez."

Finally they reached Castiel's room, and he opened the door, walking over to the desk. "Dean, I have a present for you," he said, not looking at the other boy. "Close your eyes."

"What?" Dean asked, looking around. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"Hush," Castiel interjected. "I wanted to. Now close them."

Dean sighed and closed his eyes. A few seconds later he felt Castiel place something in his hands and said, "Open your eyes."

When Dean opened them he expected to see a cute little card or something like that, but what he found was a small apple pie with the words, "Happy Birthday, Dean!" baked into the top of the crust. Dean looked from the pie to Castiel, his mouth agape in shock. "Cas..."

"I know how much you love apple pie, Dean. So I made one for you." Castiel smiled widely.

"Oh my god..." Dean said, slowly. "I think I have to marry you now."

Castiel laughed, the corners of his eyes wrinkling a bit. "So that's all it would take. Got it."

"Really, Cas, thank you," Dean said sincerely.

"You're welcome. And now I have one more gift for you.."

Castiel grabbed the pie from Dean's hands and set it on the desk. Then he shut the door, and moved so close to Dean that he was inches away, and Dean could see every eyelash on the other boy's lids. They locked eyes for a moment, Dean swallowing carefully, unsure of what Castiel was going to say or do next. Castiel smiled and lifted a hand, caressing Dean's face gently. Then he closed his eyes and leaned forward, kissing Dean softly.

As their mouths moved together, Castiel's free hand found Dean's hip, and the kiss grew deeper. Dean felt his heart rate speed up, pounding in his ears now. All that mattered was him and Castiel and the feel of their lips moving together. _Soft lips_.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel, pulling the other boy as close as possible. One of his hands found his way up to Castiel's head, tangling his fingers in the other boy's hair. Dean felt Castiel let out a soft moan, which sent a wave of electricity throughout his body.

They pulled apart after a few moments, and locked eyes, their breathing ragged. Dean put his hands on Castiel's hips to steady himself, feeling light-headed from what was happening.

"You okay?" Castiel asked, concern flashing across his face.

"Never better," Dean said breathlessly.

"We can stop if you want."

"Absolutely not."

Castiel just smirked said nothing as he gently pushed the other boy back until he was sitting on the bed. Dean watched the blue-eyed boy approach, his eyes dark and lips drawn into a tight line. Dean's breath hitched in his throat as Castiel climbed on the bed, straddling Dean with his legs on either side of him. He placed a hand under Dean's chin and lifted it up, looking him in the eye.

Before Dean could say anything, Castiel's lips were on his, kissing him deeply. Dean closed his eyes, shocked, but fully into it. He felt Castiel place a hand on his chest and push gently, but forcefully, and Dean fell back against the mattress. Dean's eyes flew open in time to see Castiel smirk mischievously before leaning forward and kissing Dean again.

Dean's hands found Castiel's waist and held on. Castiel continued kissing, his hands making their way across Dean's chest. Every so often he would bite Dean's lip, which drove the Winchester boy nuts.

After a few minutes of this, Castiel sat up and started unbuttoning Dean's flannel. Dean watched, his breathing ragged, as Castiel finished unbuttoning and leaned forward again, kissing Dean quickly before moving his mouth to the other boy's neck.

Castiel kissed Dean's neck, every so often adding in little nips and bites. Dean's eyes rolled back, and he dropped his jaw. Electricity shot throughout his body and ended at his groin. He was fully aroused now.

Castiel ran his hands across Dean's chest and down his stomach, landing on Dean's pants. He played with the belt loops of the slacks gently as he moved his face back up to Dean's. They made eye contact as Castiel grabbed either side of Dean's hips, and bucked his own forward. Dean couldn't help himself as he let out a moan.

Seconds later the kissing and touching stopped. Dean looked up at Castiel, confusion clear on his face. Castiel sat back, still straddling Dean, with a devilish smile on his face. Dean bit his lip, wanting nothing more than for Castiel to touch him again.

"How's that for a birthday present?" Castiel asked, still grinning widely.

Dean sighed as he tried to make sense of what just occurred. "Holy shit," Dean said breathlessly.

Castiel chuckled. "That good, huh?"

Dean sat up quickly with a grunt, feeling his boner shift in his pants uncomfortably. He wrapped his arms around Castiel, now face to face with him. Their mouths inches apart again, Dean looked him in the eyes and said quietly, "Please, don't stop."

Castiel searched Dean's eyes, his smile never faltering. He wrapped his arms around Dean, barely speaking above a whisper. "Since you asked so nicely..." Before Castiel could say anything else, Dean's lips crashed into the other boy's, kissing him.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Wow, I can't believe how far this story has come! This is probably the farthest I've ever written a fic, so I'm really really proud of myself. I hope you all enjoy! _

X

It was Monday morning, and Castiel was still reeling from the events of Dean's birthday while he got ready for school.

They didn't have sex, but did almost everything else - what Castiel's brother Gabe would call "second base". Castiel had never gotten that far with anyone, but he quickly learned that it wasn't like how it was shown in movies, tv shows, or porn. There was a lot less unrelenting passion, and a lot more moaning, sweating, sloppy kisses, and whispers of things like "Is this okay?" and "How does that feel?" Truthfully, he didn't mind that it was different. It felt more real.

When they finished, they cuddled for a while until Dean had to go home. Of course, they'd been texting back and forth since, flirting constantly. Dean wasn't shy about bringing up their escapades, especially to tease Castiel or muse about how good it all was. That always earned an eye roll from Castiel, but he wasn't actually annoyed about it. In fact, he was kind of proud.

Castiel packed his books in his bag, thinking about Dean and his perfect hair, and captivating green eyes, and soft, sandy colored hair. He thought about his beautiful smile and his soft, gentle hands, especially when they were roaming his body...

Castiel blushed and shook the thought from his head, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Best not to get aroused before school. He headed out of his room and down the stairs to find Michael in the kitchen, waiting for him expectantly.

"Hey," Castiel said.

"Hey, bud," Michael replied. "Almost ready to go?"

Castiel nodded, slipping around his brother to reach the counter and start making toast.

Michael turned around and said, "Did you forget to grab the mail on Saturday?"

Castiel froze for a moment as he realized he did, remembering what he was more preoccupied with that day. "Uh, yeah. Must have. Sorry."

"No, it's okay," Michael replied. "It's just that you got a letter."

Castiel turned around to find his brother leaning on the counter, a full mug of coffee in one hand, and a small, white envelope in the other. "From who?" He asked finally.

Michael held out his hand with the letter for Castiel to take. "Yale." A small smile appeared on his face.

Castiel felt his heart sink into his stomach. _Could it be?_ He reached out with a shaky hand and took the envelope. He carefully started to tear it open, his heart thudding in his chest. He felt like he wasn't even himself anymore, like he was standing elsewhere in the kitchen, watching everything transpire before him. He finally got the envelope open and pulled out the letter, unfolding it to read.

"What's it say?" Michael asked, raising his mug to his lips.

Castiel scanned the words on the letter, his hands now shaking more noticeably. He held his breath as he saw the words "_We regret to inform you_". His stomach sank lower and lower, and he let out a shaky breath. "I got rejected," he breathed.

Michael's face dropped, disappointment showing clearly. He set his mug on the counter and walked towards Castiel, pulling him into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Castiel."

Castiel said nothing. He knew he didn't talk a lot about college or where he applied, but he desperately wanted to get into Yale, and this rejection stung. He didn't understand how he didn't get in, what with his artistic talents and his great grades.

After a few seconds, Michael pulled away. "Are you okay?"

Castiel blinked slowly, seemingly breaking himself from a trance. "Yeah," he said slowly. He crinkled the letter in his hand and tossed it on the counter, turning and grabbing his bag. "I'm late for school."

"Woah, wait." Michael grabbed Castiel gently by the arm. "I thought I was driving you?"

"I'll take my bike," Castiel responded, not turning to look at his brother. He quickly shook himself from Michael's grip and moved around the counter and out of the kitchen, leaving Michael to watch him go.

X

Castiel was at his locker at school, grabbing the books he needed for the next few periods. He was trying to calm down from the events of that morning. _It's okay_, he told himself. _Rejections happen, it's not the end of the world_. He wanted to believe it, but he just couldn't shake the negative feelings.

Castiel was focusing on his breathing exercises sizes when he noticed someone approaching in his peripheral. He looked up just as Dean leaned against the locker next to him, a smooth smirk on his face. "Hey, hot stuff," the Winchester boy said.

Castiel couldn't help but smile back, momentarily forgetting about his Yale rejection. "Hi, Dean."

"So, you single, or do you got a boyfriend I have to fight?"

This earned an eye roll from Castiel as he pulled the last of his textbooks from his locker and shoved it in his bag. "Very funny," he said, trying to sound annoyed, but the smile that was creeping on his face showed otherwise.

Dean let out a light laugh, and Castiel felt his heart skip a beat. He loved Dean's laugh.

"So my hearing's tomorrow. I won't be here," Dean stated.

Castiel watched as the other boy looked away, a flash of something on his face. _Fear_?

Castiel's face softened at this, and he held out his hand and brushed Dean's arm gently. "I hope it goes well, Dean."

"Yeah," Dean mumbled. "Me too."

"Do you want me to come with?" Castiel asked, watching the other boy carefully.

Dean turned to look at Castiel. "It's during school hours, there's no way Michael would let you skip for that."

Castiel shrugged. "Michael doesn't have to know about it."

"So what? You act like you're going to school and you come with me instead?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Pretty much," Castiel said with a close of his locker door. "Walk with me."

Dean pushed himself up from the locker he was leaning against, and walked next to Castiel as they started for their next class. "So how do you propose we pull that off?"

Castiel thought for a moment. "You could come pick me up from home, act like you're giving me a ride to school, but instead go to the hearing."

Dean watched Castiel carefully. "And you're not at all worried that the school will call home and Michael will find out?"

Castiel shrugged, looking at Dean with a smile. "I guess I just don't care."

Dean's jaw dropped as he thought for a moment. "Who are you, and what have you done with my boyfriend?"

Castiel chuckled, running a hand through his already messy hair. Dean shook his head, chuckling himself, as they kept walking. It wasn't long before they found Jo Harvelle standing in front of them.

"Hey," she started, looking between the two boys. "I need to talk to you guys."

"Jo, what's up?" Dean asked.

"Well," she looked away for a second before continuing. "The whole school knows you two are dating."

"What?!" Castiel nearly shouted this. "How?"

Jo shrugged, her blonde hair falling from her shoulders. "I don't know who found out and who spread it, but that's the rumor that's going around."

"Son of a bitch," Dean muttered, lifting a hand to rub his face.

"So, it's true?" Jo asked, her eyes darting between Dean and Castiel.

Castiel sighed. "Yes, it's true."

A small smile crossed her face, her eyes lighting up. "I knew it! Well, I'm happy for you guys. You seem really cute together."

"Yeah, thanks," Dean said, dropping his hand. "But the real issue is Luc."

Jo's smile faded and she drew her lips into a tight line. "I know. He knows too."

Dean let out a groan, and Castiel felt his stomach lurch.

"That's just fan-fucking-tastic," Dean muttered, looking up at the ceiling in frustration.

"Who cares if Lucifer knows," Castiel interjected. "Who cares what he thinks?"

Dean let out a heavy sigh. "I don't care about what he thinks, I care about what he'll _do_."

Castiel's eyes fell on Dean, watching him closely. "Do you really think he'll do something?"

"Knowing him? Yes."

Castiel looked away, his eyes falling to the floor. He knew Lucifer could be a handful, but he didn't think he was that bad. Then again, he never spent more than five minutes with the guy if he didn't have to. Castiel was lost in thought until he felt a hand grab his arm softly. He looked up to find Dean watching him, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Fuck it, I think it's worth it," he said, looking Castiel in the eyes. "I'd rather not have to keep everything a secret anymore."

Castiel smiled softly. "Are you sure, Dean? It could get really bad."

Dean shrugged, pursing his lips. "I've been through worse."

The two stared at each other for a moment, both smiling. They completely forgot that Jo was in front of them, until she cleared her throat and broke their gaze. "Wow, you guys are really obvious. I don't know how people didn't figure it out sooner," she mused.

The two chuckled nervously, a blush springing to Castiel's cheeks. Dean let go of Castiel's arm and lifted his hand, rubbing the back of his neck. "So, uh. I think it might be better if I sit with you at lunch, Cas. Give Luc some space."

Castiel looked up and nodded in agreement. "You're always welcome to join Garth and I."

The bell rang overhead, signaling the start of fifth period. The three jumped, forgetting they were on their way to classes when the conversation started.

"Oh shit, I gotta go," Jo said, pushing past them. "I'll see you two lovebirds later." She winked at them before running off to her class.

"I'll see you at lunch," Dean said to Castiel, smirking.

"See you," Castiel responded.

He watched as Dean turned and headed for his class, in no hurry to be on time. Castiel chuckled, wondering how he fell for someone who was the exact opposite of him, before turning and heading to his own class.

X

It was lunch time, and Castiel was sitting at his usual table picking at the food on his tray. Today's lunch was beef stew with mashed potatoes, which wasn't his favorite dish, especially because their school had a habit of making the most bland beef stew in existence. He wished it were spaghetti day instead.

Castiel had just scooped up a lump of potatoes and watched it fall with a light _slap_ back onto his tray, when Garth walked up with his own tray in hand.

"Hey, Castiel," Garth greeted.

"Hey, Garth," Castiel returned, looking up at his friend.

Garth was a tall, lanky kid with short, brown hair and a large nose. He was on the track team - his event of choice being the javelin throw - and captain of the school's chess team. He wasn't exactly unpopular, but he wasn't popular either, which is why he and Castiel got along so well. Castiel didn't like the popular kids, which is why his attraction to Dean came as such a surprise, but he figured that he must have seen something in Dean that others didn't get a chance to see. And after dating for a month, he realized he was right.

The light slam of Garth's tray on the lunch table pulled Castiel from his thoughts. "So, you and Dean Winchester, huh?"

Castiel let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's true."

"Holy shit," Garth replied, his face dissolving into a wide grin. "I can't believe you're dating a jock."

Castiel let out a chuckle. "Yeah, me either. But here we are."

"Well, I'm happy for you," Garth stated as he picked up his fork and started stabbing at his food. "So, when do I get to officially meet him?"

Castiel bit his lip before replying, "Uh, in a few minutes, actually. He's joining us for lunch."

"Seriously? Oh hell yeah, I can't wait!" Garth took a bite of his food and chewed for a few moments. "Don't worry, I'll be on my best behavior."

Castiel snorted in response, but before he could say anything else, he spotted Dean walking towards them with his lunch tray in hand. When Dean noticed Castiel watching him, he winked, a smile forming on his face.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said when he reached their table, setting his tray down next to Castiel's.

"Hey, Dean."

Dean sat down next to Castiel, looking over at Garth who was stuffing his face. "You're Garth, right?"

Garth nodded quickly, his mouth still full of food. When he finally swallowed he said, "Nice to finally meet you."

"You too," Dean replied with a smirk.

Castiel looked between Dean and Garth, his stomach full of butterflies. He hoped that Garth and Dean would get along okay. Garth was Castiel's best friend, and he cared a lot about what his friend thought.

"So, uh," Castiel started, attempting to break the silence that had befallen on the table. "Any sign of Lucifer?"

Dean half-shrugged, picking up his fork. "I saw him earlier, but I did my best to turn the other way and get the hell outta dodge."

Castiel nodded slowly. "Hopefully he backs off."

Dean snorted and shook his head. "Yeah, I doubt he will. It's Luc we're talking about here."

"Is he really that bad?" Garth piped in from across the table. "What did he do?"

Dean winced briefly before explaining, "He got kicked out of four different schools because of how violent he gets. He has a bad temper, and he doesn't know how to control it. I've only ever seen him get that way once, and it wasn't pretty. I wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of that."

"This is so stupid," Castiel whispered quietly. "We're practically adults, he shouldn't be acting this way. Not to mention, he literally hates me. Why does he care if you're with me?"

"Well, probably because he hates you," Dean answered. "He might feel like I'm betraying him by associating with you."

Castiel rolled his eyes and let out a groan. "Stupid."

"I agree," Dean said. "Besides, any friendship that tells me I can't be with someone I care about for a stupid reason like that is a friendship I don't want."

Castiel looked over at Dean, surprised. Dean looked back at him and smirked before grabbing his milk and sticking his straw in, taking a long sip. Castiel smiled back, warmth flooding his chest. _Dean Winchester, man_.

Garth watched the interaction in intrigued silence, smiling. "You guys are adorable," he pointed out.

They both chuckled and looked away, a blush jumping to Castiel's cheeks. He didn't realize that he and Dean were that obvious with their affection, but he thought back to Jo's comments earlier that day and wondered how people _didn't_ find out sooner.

"So, Garth," Dean said after a while. "Tell me about yourself. I'd love to get to know my boyfriend's best friend."

Garth's face lit up. "Really?"

"Absolutely," Dean replied. "Any friend of Castiel's is a friend of mine."

Garth smirked and then launched into his backstory. Castiel glanced over at Dean, a wide smile on his face. Dean looked over, winked, and placed his hand over Castiel's, giving it a gentle squeeze before returning his attention to Garth and his story.

_Dean fucking Winchester._


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: I hope you're all staying safe during this pandemic. I know things are tough right now, but I hope all of you stay safe and find something to entertain you and keep you going! Enjoy the new chapter!_

X

It was the morning of the custody hearing, and Dean was using all of his willpower to remain calm as he got dressed. His stomach was in knots, and he felt the panic he'd been suppressing for weeks rising in his throat like bile. He swallowed carefully, knowing his effort was pointless, but not really knowing what else to do.

He wasn't looking forward to seeing John Winchester again, and he especially wasn't looking forward to having to open up and tell the judge what his father did to him. He preferred not to think about the beatings that gave him unrelenting nightmares.

Dean took a deep breath and let it out slowly, focusing on his reflection in the mirror as he attempted to tie his tie. He paused, seeing the look on his face and the already forming sweat on his forehead. He looked like a panicked little kid, lost and frantically looking for his mother, and he hated it. He hated the way he looked and felt, and hated that John was the one who did this to him.

He thought about his mother, Mary, who'd been gone for fourteen years now. What would she be like today? Would she be proud of Dean? Would she be supportive of his bisexuality? Would she have stopped John from abusing them in the first place? Would John have even started abusing them if Mary were still around?

Dean felt his anger bubbling to the surface, causing him to grit his teeth. He hated that they lost Mary when he was so young. He hated that it led to this life, to him and Sam getting targeted by John. Why do bad things always happen to good people?

After a few minutes of fumbling, Dean quickly ripped his tie off and tossed it on the bed, cursing as he watched it hit the edge and land on the floor. He was too worked up to deal with ties. He grabbed his phone from his end table and shot a text to Castiel - _I'll be there in 20 minutes _\- before slipping it in his pocket and walking out of his room.

When Dean reached the living room he found Bobby and Sam already there. Bobby was currently working on Sam's tie, cursing under his breath as he failed over and over. Sam watched, trying to stifle a giggle.

"A house full of guys and not one of us can tie a damn tie," Dean remarked, flashing a smirk at Sam.

Sam laughed and Bobby sighed, taking the tie from around Sam's neck and tossing it on the couch.

"Forget the tie. You look fine enough anyhow," Bobby grumbled as he turned to face Dean. "Ready to go, Sleeping Beauty?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "I'm not a morning person, alright?"

"That's an understatement," Sam said under his breath. Dean shot him a look which earned another giggle from the younger Winchester.

"Anyways," Dean continued, "Yeah, I'm ready to go. But I'll be meeting you guys there. I have to pick someone up."

"Oh yeah? Who?" Bobby asked, his eyes zeroing in on Dean.

Dean cleared his throat and looked away. He was hoping they wouldn't hit him with too many questions. "You remember my date on Saturday?" Bobby nodded and Dean continued, "Well, that's who I'm picking up."

"Dean has a _girlfriend_," Sam sang, a huge grin forming on his face.

"Alright, that's enough from you," Dean said, giving Sam a stern, but amused look.

Bobby rolled his eyes at the two before saying, "Are you gonna tell us her name?"

Dean coughed awkwardly, looking everywhere but at Sam and Bobby. "_His_ name is Castiel."

"Castiel?" Sam said, wrinkling his nose. "That's a weird name."

"Yeah, and you have a weird face," Dean pointed out, which earned him a glare from Sam.

"Settle down, ya idjits," Bobby interjected. "Dean, I didn't know you were gay."

"Bisexual, actually," Dean corrected, still unable to meet Bobby's eyes. "And neither did I until...what, a couple months ago?"

Bobby watched Dean carefully before saying, "Well, as long as you're happy that's what matters, right?"

Dean let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Yeah."

"Well alright. Can't wait to meet him."

Dean finally looked up at Bobby to find a small smile on his face. He blinked and smiled softly, silently thanking Bobby for not being homophobic or giving him a hard time, especially after what they went through with John.

"Are ya gonna keep starin' at me like I'm an art piece at a museum, or are ya gonna get your ass in gear?" Bobby asked, his voice breaking Dean's thoughts.

"Right, sorry," Dean replied, moving towards the key rack on the wall and grabbing his keys. "I'll see you guys at the courthouse."

X

Dean made it to Castiel's house in record time - fifteen minutes. His late start and extended conversation made him late for the hearing. When he pulled up, he honked his horn, and shortly after was joined by Castiel.

"So, is Michael flipping his shit?" Dean asked when the dark haired boy had settled in his seat and shut the door.

"Michael doesn't suspect a thing," Castiel responded casually. "We're in the clear."

Dean shook his head and let out a chuckle. "I can't believe you talked me into letting you skip. You know once Michael finds out he's gonna come for my head, right?"

Castiel waved a hand in the air. "I'll tell him the truth, that it was all my idea." Dean eyed Castiel carefully, lips drawn into a tight line. "What?"

"Nothing," Dean replied, looking back out at the road. "If you end up grounded and I can't see you for a while, I'm gonna be mad."

Castiel let out a laugh as Dean shifted the car into drive and started down the street. They drove in silence for a bit, not even playing the radio. Dean was far too nervous as he felt his stomach doing somersaults. He just wanted to get things done and over with.

Castiel must have sensed Dean's nervousness, because he reached over and took Dean's right hand in his left, lacing their fingers together. Dean looked over at the other boy and received a small smile and a gentle hand squeeze. He couldn't help but smile back.

"As much as I don't approve of you skipping, I am really glad you're here," he said, giving Castiel's hand a gentle squeeze back.

"I'm glad I could be here for you," Castiel replied.

They drove in silence, their hands interlocked and Castiel rubbing the back of Dean's hand with his thumb, every so often giving gentle squeezes. Dean did his best to steady his breathing, which picked up the closer they got to the courthouse.

When they pulled into the lot, they got out and headed for the front doors. Dean's eyes started frantically scanning the area, searching for his father, only calming down momentarily when he would see a person that wasn't him. Castiel must have noticed this, because he grabbed Dean's hand and squeezed it softly, muttering, "It's okay."

Dean nodded and swallowed carefully, Castiel's words echoing in his head. _It's okay._ No matter how many times he said it to himself, he wasn't sure he could believe it.

They entered the courthouse and walked down the long corridor, slinking past the groups of people gathered outside of the courtrooms as they awaited the start of their hearings. They scanned the crowd, and found Bobby and Sam standing by a door near the end of the hallway. They made their way over, trying to quickly move through the crowd without running into anyone. They were a few minutes late, but Dean hoped the judge wouldn't notice.

"You made it," Bobby said when they walked up.

"Just in time," Dean replied, letting a small smirk appear. He stopped the smirk almost as soon as it came, his stomach dropping at the thought of walking into the courtroom.

"You must be Bobby," Castiel piped up, reaching a hand out to offer to the older man. "I'm Castiel."

"Dean's told us about you. Nice to meet ya," Bobby said, shaking Castiel's hand with a polite smile.

Castiel returned the smile as they dropped their hands. He then turned his attention to the boy standing behind Bobby. "You must be Sam."

"And you're the guy Dean's been fawning over for the past couple of weeks."

Dean shot a look to Sam, eyes narrowed. "_Sam_," He warned.

Sam raised his hands in surrender, smiling. "No disrespect. It's nice to meet you, Castiel."

Castiel stifled a laugh as Dean rolled his eyes. "You're a pain in my ass."

"Enough, you two. We gotta focus," Bobby pointed out, giving the brothers a stern look. "If y'all don't take this seriously, you could not only lose the case, but lose Sam too."

"What?!" Dean asked.

"You're making this case because John abused you, right?" Dean nodded, and Bobby continued. "You're blowing the whole situation wide open. If the judge doesn't grant you custody, they're gonna order CPS to come and take Sam away and put him in foster care."

Dean's throat went dry. "Wait, really?"

"Yes, you idjit."

Dean let out a sigh and looked to the ceiling. He felt his stomach sink lower into his body, making his nausea worse. _I could lose Sam?_

"Bobby, that would've been nice to know before today," Dean pointed out with clenched teeth.

"I figured you were smart enough to know that yourself," Bobby snapped back. "You are an adult now, and should learn how to handle things yourself."

"Guys, let's calm down," Castiel interjected. "We can figure this out. What are you planning to tell the judge?"

Dean lifted a hand and rubbed his face. "I was gonna describe what happened, what it was like growing up with Dad. Explain that I've been basically already raising Sam my whole life."

"That's a start," Castiel replied. "What about financially?"

"Financially?"

"Yes. Dean, you have to have an income so you can provide for Sam. If not, they might not grant you custody."

"_Son of a bitch_," Dean snapped, throwing his hands up in the air. "And no one thought to tell me this sooner?!"

"You didn't exactly talk about the hearing with anyone, Dean," Castiel pointed out, crossing his arms.

Dean looked over at him and sighed, feeling guilty for having snapped at him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Castiel cut him off, not meeting the other boy's eyes.

Dean watched Castiel for a moment, feeling his anger bubbling inside his chest. He felt like his father, constantly getting angry over little things and lashing out to those closest to him. He clenched his fists, trying to contain his anger as best as he could. "So what do I do?"

"You could ask for the judge to give you time to find a job. In the meantime, I can tell them that I'm fine housing you two for the time being," Bobby said.

Dean nodded, letting his hands relax a bit. "Do you think it'll work?"

"It's worth a shot."

Just as Dean was going to reply, they noticed two figures approaching them. One was a tall man with short, blonde hair, who was dressed in a black suit and carrying a briefcase; the other was John Winchester.

Dean felt a knot in his stomach form. His breathing stopped for a moment, his eyes wide. Suddenly he could hear nothing else around him, just the sound of his heart beating and a voice in his head telling him to turn and run. He found he was frozen where he stood. As John and the other man - presumably his lawyer - approached, he cocked a knowing smile, noticing Dean's fear. The two said nothing as they walked passed the group and headed for the courtroom door. John, however, flashed a wink at Dean before they disappeared inside the courtroom.

When the two were gone, Dean let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck._ He tried to steady his breathing, but felt like the whole room was spinning.

"Dean..." Castiel started hesitantly.

"I'm okay," Dean breathed. He opened his eyes and settled them on Bobby and Sam. "Let's get this over with."

"I'll be right out here, okay?" Castiel said.

Dean nodded and stepped forward, pulling Castiel into a tight hug. Castiel gasped softly, surprised by the sudden action, but soon after he wrapped his arms around Dean. They stayed like that for a few moments, until Dean finally pulled away and flashed a weak smile. Castiel smiled back softly, as Dean turned and followed Sam and Bobby into the courtroom.

X

The hearing went just as expected. Sam, Bobby, and Dean all gave their testimonies, while John tried to defend his actions. Dean then made his case on why he felt he would be a better guardian for Sam. Throughout the entire hearing, Dean did everything he could to remain calm and steady his breathing, but it proved to be difficult. There were several times where he thought he might pass out because he couldn't breathe properly, but somehow he made it through.

In the end, the judge decided to grant Dean some time to not only get a proper lawyer, but to also get a job and show that he was looking for a place for him and Sam to move into. He gave Dean two months. He also ordered a restraining order be made against John to ensure the safety of both Sam and Dean.

When the court adjourned, Dean let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. He was glad the judge was going to give him more time, and that they had some sort of protection from John, at least for the time being.

Bobby and Sam walked up to him, Sam throwing his arms around Dean in a hug, which pulled him from his thoughts. He sighed and hugged Sam back, trying to avoid looking in his father's direction.

"You just bought yourself some time," Bobby said with a nod.

"Yeah," Dean replied, his voice shaky. "But how the hell am I gonna find a job before May?"

Bobby shook his head. "I'm sure we can find something for you to do at the shop."

Dean nodded. He forgot that Bobby ran the auto shop in town, and could easily get him a job there. Before Dean could say anything, he saw a figure approaching them out of the corner of his eye, and felt his breath hitch when he realized it was John. Sam instinctively pulled away from Dean and took a step back, hiding behind Bobby. Dean sighed and pursed his lips, looking over at his father. "What do you want?"

"Is that any way to talk to your father?" John responded.

Dean scoffed and looked away, his lower lip trembling. "There's a restraining order against you now."

"Yeah, the exception being when we're here at the courthouse, which we are right now." Dean said nothing, still not meeting his father's eyes as John continued. "Besides, I was curious as to why the man I called my friend for years decided to betray me and entertain your outrageous stories."

"_Stories?!_" Bobby snapped, stepping closer. "You call me havin' to pick your bloody and broken kid off the ground just _stories_?"

Dean clenched his fists, the knot in his stomach growing tighter.

"What happens between me and my kids is none of your business."

"So I'm just supposed to let you beat your kids near to death and do nothin' about it?"

Dean looked up to find John and Bobby inches from each other, staring each other down, the tension in the air palpable. He swallowed as he felt his heart hammer against his chest, his breathing growing unsteady again.

"Guys...stop," Dean choked out.

Bobby glanced at Dean for a moment, then took a step back, letting his shoulders relax. "You stay away from these boys, you hear me? I won't ask again."

A devilish smile crossed John's face as he muttered, "We'll see about that." He winked at Dean before turning and walking out of the room.

Dean closed his eyes. He tried to take deep breaths, but was unsuccessful. His heart was hammering louder, the knot in his stomach tighter than ever, and all he could think about was John's face and how terrified he was of running into him outside of the courthouse. Dean's breath became more shallow and his eyes snapped open in panic.

"Dean?" Bobby asked, concern etched on his face.

Dean tried to answer, but couldn't catch his breath long enough to do so. He felt his chest grow tight. Bobby made a step toward him, but before Dean even knew what was happening, he was running out of the room and down the hall of the courthouse. He ran out the front door and down the steps, all the way to his car. When he got there, we leaned against the driver's door and sat, his breaths still coming out quickly.

Dean couldn't stop thinking about everything that's happened. He tried desperately to think of anything else - school, his brother, Cas - but his mind just kept circling back to John, remembering what happened on Christmas eve. At some point, he noticed that his cheeks were wet, wondering when he even started crying. Dean was so caught up in what was happening, he didn't notice when Castiel had run up.

"Dean, are you okay?"

Dean looked over and saw Castiel's icy blue eyes clouded with worry. He tried to respond, but couldn't catch his breath. His eyes moved frantically from the ground to Castiel as he felt himself grow lightheaded. _What's happening to me?!_ He shouted in his head, but no words came out.

"Dean, you're having a panic attack," Castiel pointed out. "I need you to focus on me for a second, okay?"

Dean nodded briefly, still hyperventilating. Castiel kneeled down in front of Dean and looked him in the eyes.

"Dean, focus on my breathing. Follow me, okay?" When Dean nodded again, Castiel continued. "We're gonna take a really deep breath together, okay? Breathe in as long as you can."

Castiel took in a loud breath, and Dean followed, his own breath shaky. He watched as Castiel's chest heaved.

"Good. Now out." Castiel let out a loud, long breath, and Dean followed.

They continued like this for a few minutes - Castiel instructing Dean to breathe with him and Dean following to the best of his ability - until Dean's breathing was steady again. At that point, Castiel sat next to Dean, placing a hand over Dean's. They stayed there for a few minutes, no words passing between them, before they got up and got in the car, starting their drive towards Castiel's house, a silence hanging in the air between them.

It wasn't until they were a few blocks away that Castiel said, "Dean...what's going on?"

Dean's breath hitched in his throat and he swallowed around it. "I could ask you the same thing?"

"What?"

"You never skip school. You've had perfect attendance all throughout high school. Now you suddenly don't care about school and don't care about pissing off Michael?" Dean glanced over at the other boy. "I feel like you're not telling me something."

Castiel scoffed. "Right, because _you've_ been telling _me_ everything?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you've been having nightmares, Dean."

Dean felt his stomach jump. He gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles starting to turn white. "Who told you?"

"No one, Dean," Castiel replied. "I used to have them all the time, remember? It didn't take me long to figure it out."

"Yeah? Anything else you want to tell me about myself?" Dean muttered between gritted teeth.

There was a sigh and a pause before Castiel continued, "You're starting to show symptoms of PTSD."

Dean let out a chuckle. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," Castiel repeated sternly. "You're showing all the same signs I was."

"No, I'm not." Dean "And don't change the subject."

"I'm not," Castiel said. "I'm just concerned."

"Yeah, and I'm concerned about you."

They pulled up in front of Castiel's house, neither of them paying attention to the fact that Michael's car was in the driveway. Dean put the car in park and looked at his hands on the steering wheel.

"I just care about you. I want to help."

Dean laughed dryly. "I don't need help. I'm fine."

"Dean..."

"I'm fine," Dean snapped, looking Castiel in the eyes. "Some people might be weak and get easily fucked up from that kinda stuff, but not me."

Castiel's brows furrowed. "You think I'm weak?"

Dean's shoulders slumped as he realized what he said. "What? No..."

But before he could correct himself, Castiel was already opening the passenger door of the Impala and stepping out.

"Cas, wait!" Dean called after him.

Castiel's face appeared in the open door for a moment, his eyes misty. "It's Castiel," he corrected before slamming the door and turning around, rushing down the path to his front door.

"Dammit," Dean muttered, hitting his hands on the steering wheel. He closed his eyes as he heard his father's words echoing in his head.

_Useless fuckup._


	17. Chapter 17

Castiel slammed the front door behind him and leaned against it, hot tears springing to his eyes. He let out a shaky breath, blinking to try to keep himself from crying. He couldn't believe that Dean said those words to him; that he was weak and fucked up.

He clenched his fists and pushed himself up from the door, heading towards the stairs, but before he even got there he found Michael standing in front of him. Michael's arms were crossed, his eyes dark and stern, and his lips were drawn in a tight line.

"Hey, Castiel," Michael said curtly.

"Hi," Castiel replied, not meeting his eyes. "I have homework so I don't have time to chat-"

"Sit down," Michael commanded, gesturing towards the couch in the living room.

Castiel's eyes snapped up and widened, taken aback by Michael's forceful tone, but he obeyed, walking over to the couch and sitting down quietly. He placed his hands in his lap, palms up, and stared at them.

"The school called today," Michael started, crossing the room to stand in front of Castiel. "And they told me that you didn't come in, and that you would need a doctor's note to excuse your absence."

Castiel bit his lower lip, but didn't say anything. A silence hung in the air between them, and Castiel felt his breaths coming out more shallow.

"Where were you?" Michael asked.

"I-I was with Dean," Castiel muttered quietly.

"I figured as much. Where?"

"I can't tell you."

A strangled laugh escaped Michael's mouth, and Castiel flinched. "You skip school and go out galavanting with Dean, and you don't even have the decency to tell me where you went? That's rich."

Castiel clenched his fists, his voice rising. He lifted his head up and looked at Michael. "I can't tell you because it's not my business to tell you."

"What?" Michael snapped. "It's not your _business_ to tell me where you're going?! You're a _minor_, Castiel. I'm your legal guardian. You don't get to just disappear and do whatever you want without telling me!"

"Right, like I'm going to ask you to let me skip school for something as important as this. Like you would've let me," Castiel snapped back.

"Damn right I wouldn't have let you. School is important, not whatever half-baked joyrides you have planned with some degenerate!"

Castiel leapt to his feet, fully shouting now. "It wasn't some joyride, and don't you _dare_ call him that!"

"Don't lie to me, Castiel. I knew that kid was trouble the moment I saw him. I knew he'd get you to start acting out. I knew you'd start pulling stunts like this."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

"Oh no? So it's just a coincidence that you start acting like this after you start dating him?"

"Why are you so quick to blame? Why do you have such a grudge against him? You barely know him!"

"Oh, and you do?" Michael snapped.

"Shut up," Castiel muttered, his clenched fists at his sides. "I know more about him than you do. And I make my own choices. I _chose_ to skip."

"Yeah, like that makes it any better," Michael replied, his hand flying into his hair. "Honestly, if this keeps up, I'm going to have to bar you from seeing him."

Castiel's eyes widened and he clenched his teeth. He balled his fists up tighter, his fingernails now leaving indents in his palm. "You wouldn't dare."

"Watch me," Michael challenged through clenched teeth.

Castiel felt his stomach flip and his eyes get hot, new tears forming and threatening to spill over. He tried to steady his breathing, tried to get himself under control before snapping, but it was no use.

"You want to know where we were?" Castiel shouted, stepping closer to his brother. "We were at the courthouse. Dean had a hearing. He's trying to get custody of his little brother." Michael's eyebrows raised in shock, and Castiel continued. "His dad was abusive, just like Chuck. So he's trying to get custody of him, and I went with him for support. I know he's been having a hard time lately, especially because he's started showing signs of PTSD. And guess what? I'm glad I went, even if we did end up having a fight, because he had a panic attack and I was able to help him through it."

"Castiel," Michael started, his voice softer. "I-"

"You wanna know why I didn't ask for permission? Because I knew you would say no. I knew you didn't like him and would assume I was lying, so I didn't come to you. You've been acting more like a parent ever since Chuck, I don't feel like I can come to you for _anything_!"

Castiel lifted a foot and kicked the coffee table, flipping it over to the other end of the room. "And I figured having perfect attendance didn't matter anymore because I got rejected from Yale anyways, so who _actually_ fucking cares if I show up anymore?!"

Hot tears were streaming down Castiel's face as he shouted. He turned and grabbed the lamp off of the table nearby. He knew he was overreacting, but he couldn't help the feeling of relief that washed over him as he lashed out. "And of course you think he's some degenerate. Of course you look down your nose at him, despite the fact that he's gone through the same shit you went through and is being responsible. All you see is how cocky he can be and what side of town he lives on. You don't actually see how funny and kind and smart he actually is!"

Castiel ripped the lamp plug out of the wall and threw the lamp across the room. It hit the wall by the front door, and shattered immediately, spraying glass shards across the floor. Castiel fell back onto the couch, his head in his hands, as the tears started falling steadily, sobs wracking his body. After a few seconds he felt the couch dip next to him and a pair of arms wrap around him and pull him close.

"Shhh, it's okay," Michael comforted, rubbing Castiel's back.

They sat there for a few minutes until Castiel's sobbing stopped, now subsiding to a few stray tears and some sniffles. He didn't look at his older brother, feeling nothing but shame for having reacted the way that he did. He knew he had problems controlling his emotions because of the trauma, but he still was frustrated that he lashed out and broke a lamp.

Almost as if reading his mind, Michael broke the silence with, "Castiel, it's okay. I know you didn't mean to break the lamp."

Castiel said nothing, biting his lower lip. He overreacted, and he knew this, just like he did earlier with Dean.

"Castiel?" Michael said, breaking through his thoughts.

Castiel looked up, his eyes still heavy from crying.

Michael sighed. "I'm sorry, bud." He lifted a hand and ran it through his hair again. "You're right. I was passing judgement on Dean without properly getting to know him, and that wasn't fair to him or you."

Castiel sniffled and looked down at his hands before Michael continued.

"I just worry about you, okay? I know, I'm supposed to trust you - and I do - I just don't want you to end up hurt again like you were with Dad."

Castiel nodded. "I know," he replied. "But you can't protect me forever. Eventually I'll get hurt again, but that's a part of life. The only thing you can do is trust me and be there to support me when I need it."

Michael let out a soft chuckle and Castiel looked up, a smile tugging at his lips.

"You're much wiser than you think, Castiel. Sometimes you teach me a thing or two."

"I'm glad. Maybe I'll stop being the only smart one in this family," Castiel joked.

Michael let out a loud laugh. "Wow, low blow."

Castiel laughed in response. He watched his brother for a moment, feeling the weight of his emotions ease a bit. "Listen," he started, looking at the ground. "I'm sorry for snapping and for breaking the lamp."

"It's okay," Michael responded with a warm smile. "It's also my fault. I egged you on because I was upset. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"So, you and Dean got into a fight?"

Castiel let out a heavy sigh before looking at Michael. "Yeah, we did."

"About what?"

"I tried to confront him because he's been showing symptoms of PTSD, and he wasn't too thrilled about it. Said he isn't weak and fucked up."

Michael let out a breath. "Ouch. That's gotta hurt."

Castiel nodded slowly, feeling a pang in his chest again. He felt guilty for pushing Dean, and for walking away before they could resolve the situation, but he mostly felt hurt from Dean's words. He knew Dean likely didn't mean them, but he couldn't help the sting he felt inside. "He obviously wasn't very receptive."

"If it makes you feel any better, I seem to remember a certain someone reacting in a similar way when I brought it up to him," Michael mentioned.

Castiel snorted. "Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that."

"Yeah. You didn't talk to me again for a week."

"Right...sorry about that."

Michael waved a hand in the air. "Water under the bridge," he said with a smile. "We eventually got through it, and look at you now. You've made a lot of progress."

Castiel pursed his lips, thinking for a moment before saying, "You know, you're right."

"Of course I'm right. I'm always right, I'm your big brother."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Alright, don't get too full of yourself now."

Michael held his hands up in surrender. "I'm not, I'm not." He placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder softly. "But you should talk to Dean. Apologize and explain your side. He might still be defensive, but eventually he'll come around."

Castiel nodded. "Does that mean I can go call him now?"

"Hold on, we haven't talked about your punishment yet."

Castiel sighed. "Right."

"One week. Straight home after school. No friends over, no Dean over. You can still keep your phone."

"Yeah, I deserve that," Castiel said quietly.

"Next time, please just come talk to me. I'll put aside my parental helmet and try to level with you like a brother, okay?"

Castiel looked up, a small smile spreading across his face. "Deal."

X

Castiel was laying in bed on his back, staring up at the ceiling, thumbing the edges of his cell phone that was resting on his stomach. He had been debating on calling Dean for twenty minutes, afraid the other boy wouldn't forgive him for lashing out earlier. He wasn't even sure of what to say.

Castiel lifted his phone up to his face and the screen lit up, showing several unopened texts from Dean. He sighed, knowing that he was getting too far in his head about the situation, but that's just how he was. He'd always been like that since he was a kid. In fact, it drove his siblings nuts how often he overthought things and got in his own way. It was something he tried working on in counseling, but to no avail. Maybe one day he'd stop, but not today.

Castiel let out a slow breath as he unlocked his phone and went into his messages, his hands shaking as he opened the texts.

_3:24pm: Cas, I'm sorry._

_3:30pm: I know you're mad at me, but I promise I didn't mean what I said._

_3:56pm: Please stop ignoring me. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry _

_4:15pm: Cas, call me_

_4:20pm: Cas, please. _

Castiel dropped his phone to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut to try to force back the tears. Of course Dean didn't mean it. Of course he was sorry. Of course Castiel was just being a stubborn idiot and should just call him.

Castiel cleared his throat and wiped his eyes before picking up his phone and calling Dean. He pressed the phone to his ear, eyes shut, and took a few deep breaths to try to calm himself down. After a few rings, he heard Dean answer.

"Cas?"

"Hello, Dean," He mumbled.

"Cas, holy shit, I didn't think you'd ever call. I'm so sorry for what I said-"

"Dean," Castiel cut him off. "It's okay."

"No, Cas, it's not. Please let me finish."

Castiel swallowed carefully and whispered, "Okay."

"I don't think you're weak or fucked up, okay? I was just angry and dealing with the fact that I just had a panic attack for the first time in my life."

There was a pause, in which Castiel heard Dean let out a slow breath before continuing.

"I guess I also didn't want to listen to what you were saying. I didn't want to think of the possibility that I might not just bounce back from what happened to me, that I'd need help. But that's no excuse for what I said. It was wrong, and I'm sorry."

Tears were freely flowing down Castiel's face now, and he wiped them away, taking in a shaky breath before responding. "I forgive you, Dean."

"Are you crying?" Dean asked, not even hiding the hint of worry in his voice. "Fuck, Cas, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Castiel said, clearing his throat. "I guess it just hurt because those words are the same ones I say to myself constantly."

"Cas..."

"But I get it now. Michael helped me understand, actually. He reminded me of how I reacted when he first told me he thought I had PTSD, and it was pretty much the same. I was scared. I didn't want to believe something could be wrong with me."

"Man," Dean said with a soft laugh. "I guess we're both hard-headed."

"I guess so," Castiel replied with a small smile. "Anyways, I'm sorry for pushing you. And I'm sorry for storming off earlier instead of talking to you."

"It's okay, Cas. You had every right to be mad."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I have a right to react in the way that I did. I may not be able to control my feelings, but I can control how I respond to them."

"Wow, Cas, way to sound like a therapist," Dean joked.

"I was in therapy for years, I hope I would've gotten something out of it."

They both dissolved into laughter, the tension from earlier being lifted. Castiel picked at the hem of his t-shirt as their laughter died down.

"You know, Cas, you're the strongest person I know. Most days you're the only one I know who seems to have everything together," Dean mused quietly.

"I wasn't always this way. Took a lot of therapy and a lot of work," Castiel replied.

"Well, maybe it's time I look for a therapist."

Castiel's eyes widened. "Dean, are you sure? I mean, are you ready for that?"

There was a pause before Dean responded. "I think so. I guess you pointing out the fact that I was struggling helped me to realize that maybe you were right."

"Dean, I'm proud of you," Castiel replied, smiling.

"Thanks. That actually means a lot."

"I can go with you for your first session and sit in the waiting room with you. If you want."

"Are you kidding?" Dean asked. "Of course I'd want you to be there."

Castiel laughed softly, feeling a warmth spreading in his chest. "Then I'll be there."

"I never thanked you for being there for me today."

"Oh, Dean. You don't have to thank me-"

"No, I want to," Dean interjected. "I was so caught up in everything and trying to figure out why you were skipping school that I never actually thanked you for being there for me. If you weren't, I don't know how I would've gotten through it, especially when I had that panic attack. So, thank you."

"I'm always here for you, Dean. Always." Castiel rolled over onto his side, staring at the wall before continuing. "Also, you were right. I was sort of acting out by skipping."

"You were?"

"Yes," Castiel looked around. "I got a letter from Yale about my admissions application. They rejected me."

"Those sons of bitches," Dean muttered, anger prevalent in his voice. "Yale would be lucky to have someone like you. They're morons."

Castiel chuckled softly. "Tell that to Yale."

"Cas, you'll find a better school."

"Better than Yale?" Castiel asked with a laugh. "Probably not. But I'll survive. Michael and I will figure it out."

"I know you will, you nerd."

Castiel chuckled. "Thanks for the support, dear."

"No problem, honey," Dean replied cheerily. Castiel rolled his eyes as Dean continued. "So, did Michael find out?"

"Yeah," Castiel replied with a sigh. "I'm grounded for a week."

"A whole week?!" Dean said with a groan. "I have to go without kisses and blowjobs from my hot boyfriend for a _week_?"

"I think you'll manage, Dean," Castiel replied with a laugh.

"We could always have phone sex."

Castiel felt his cheeks heat up. "Not while my brother's home."

"You're no fun," Dean replied. Castiel could just imagine the other boy pouting as he spoke.

"It's only a week, Dean. You'll still see me at school."

"Yeah, but I can't really grab your ass there, now can I?"

Castiel smiled wide, feeling himself blush more. He lifted a hand and covered his face, laughing. "I have to go, we're eating dinner soon. I'll text you."

"Alright, try not to miss me too much."

"No promises. Bye, Dean."

"Bye, Cas."


	18. Chapter 18

Dean Winchester stood at the front desk of Singer's Auto, twiddling his thumbs as he looked around for something to do. He'd been working there for a month and a half now, Bobby having secured him the position only a couple days after the custody hearing. He mostly did stock, worked the front desk, or swept the shop, but every so often Bobby would call him over and let him help with some of the cars that came in, knowing that Dean had a lot of knowledge of cars.

"Maybe once you graduate we can give you a full-time mechanic position," Bobby had said one day when Dean helped change out the spark plugs on a blue Pontiac.

"Maybe," Dean had responded. He didn't say anything else, but he actually did start to consider it. He did sort of have a knack for this stuff.

Dean stared out of the front windows, watching the sun glint off of the cars passing by on the street. It was mid-March now, and the weather was warming up. It still was pretty cold at night, but during the day it was warm enough to warrant just a light jacket. Dean was pretty glad about that. It gave him and Castiel more date ideas.

Dean smiled as he thought about the picnic date he and Castiel went on the other day. They packed a blanket and two bagged lunches, and made their way to Bloomington Beach, which was twenty minutes outside of Lawrence. They sat on the blanket and ate, watching as the sun set over the water. Yeah, maybe it was cheesy, but he'll never forget the way Castiel's face lit up as soon as he realized what they were doing, and he'd sell his entire soul if it meant he could see him that happy again.

At that moment, Dean's phone buzzed. He jumped a bit, startled out of his daydream, and fished it out of his pocket to find a text from Castiel. _Busy?_ Dean smiled as he typed back, _Nope, pretty dead here today._ He waited a few minutes before seeing Castiel's response: _Good. See you in a minute. _

A minute later Castiel walked into the lobby of the auto shop, the bell on the door jingling as the door slammed shut behind him. He smiled at Dean, his eyes crinkling as he made his way over, and Dean smiled back.

"Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Dean," Castiel replied as he approached the front desk. He flipped open his messenger bag and pulled out a brown paper bag, setting it on the desktop.

"What's this?" Dean asked as he opened it up and took a peek inside.

"Dinner for you," Castiel responded. "I know sometimes you forget to eat when you're at work, so I wanted to make sure you got something in your system."

The corners of Dean's mouth tugged into a smile. "You're too good to me."

Dean dropped the bag back on the desktop and made his way to the other side of the desk. He slid his hands on either side of Castiel's hips and pulled him close. Castiel smiled and threw his arms around Dean's neck, planting a soft kiss on the other boy's lips. Dean's eyes slid close as he pulled Castiel closer, deepening the kiss. Castiel let out a soft sigh, which made Dean's heart thrum in his chest. They pulled apart a few moments later, their breaths a little more ragged.

"You know, Sam's been bugging me about when you're coming over next. Think the kid really likes you," Dean stated.

It was true. After the hearing Dean started bringing Castiel over, and he got really well acquainted with both Bobby and Sam. Sam and Castiel hit it off when they started talking about school and the teachers Sam had, which progressed to them talking about the actual subjects and both of their random wells of knowledge. Dean rolled his eyes at that ("God, you're both nerds. Am I gonna lose you to Sam now?" Dean had joked the first time it happened, which earned a playful shove from Castiel and a bitchface from Sam), and usually just sat back and listened to the two for a while before changing the topic.

Castiel let out a soft laugh. "Well, I guess that's a good thing, right?"

"It's a great thing, actually," Dean replied. "Means you're a keeper."

Castiel smiled a big, gummy smile before placing a hand on the back of Dean's neck, and pulling him in for another kiss. Dean hummed enthusiastically, sliding one of his hands around to rest on the small of Castiel's back. Their mouths moved together slowly and Dean's breath hitched as Castiel slipped his other hand under the hem of Dean's shirt and placed it on his stomach. Dean felt electricity shoot throughout his body and down to his groin, making him groan softly. _Not now, not in the middle of the shop._

Before Dean could pull away to prevent himself from popping a boner, they heard someone loudly clear their throat behind them. The two pulled apart quickly, a blush starting to sneak its way on Dean's face. Bobby stood over by the door to the garage, his mouth drawn into a tight line.

"Can you two lovebirds keep your hands to yourself when you're on the clock? You're gonna scare away the customers," Bobby grumbled.

"Sorry," Dean and Castiel muttered at the same time.

Dean and Bobby locked eyes for a moment longer, and Dean could swear he almost saw the hint of a smile on Bobby's face. But it was gone almost as soon as Dean saw it.

"I need your help with a carburetor," Bobby said finally. "Say your goodbyes and come give me a hand."

Dean nodded quickly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"Nice to see you, Castiel."

"You too, Bobby," Castiel said with a small, shy smile. His cheeks were pink from embarrassment.

Bobby glanced between them again before turning and heading back into the garage to give them their space. Dean chuckled lightly.

"Duty calls," Dean said, holding his arms out. "Come here."

Castiel smiled and stepped forward. Dean wrapped his arms around the other boy and planted a kiss on Castiel's forehead.

"Call me when you're home," Castiel mumbled from Dean's shoulder.

"You got it," Dean replied with a cool smile.

After a few moments they pulled apart, and Castiel gave Dean a small wave before turning and heading out the front door. Dean watched him go for a few seconds before heading into the garage.

X

Dean's shift went by quickly. He helped Bobby fix up a few more cars and sort through all the paperwork they had filed away from each client for most of his shift. Before he knew it, it was 9pm, closing time.

Dean was busy sweeping up the reception area when Bobby walked up, holding out his set of keys.

"Dean, I have to make a stop over at Ellen's place to drop off something. Can you lock up for me?"

Dean looked up, a smirk appearing on his face. "Ellen's again? That's what...the third time this week? I'm beginning to think you're not actually dropping anything off."

Bobby drew his lips in a tight line and rolled his eyes. "Are you gonna lock up or what?" He shook the keys in his hand and they jingled, echoing throughout the reception area.

Dean watched Bobby for a moment, the smile never leaving his face, before saying, "Yeah, I'll lock up." He took the keys from Bobby and slipped them into his jeans pocket.

"Alright, I'll see you later," Bobby mumbled as he headed out the front door.

Dean finished sweeping as he heard the familiar roar of Bobby's engine starting up and pulling away. He wondered what Castiel was doing at that moment, and decided to pull out his phone and check for any texts from him. He unlocked his phone and went to his messages to find that Castiel had texted him, and when he opened it, he found a shirtless Castiel staring at him, a sly smirk on his face.

Dean felt his face heat up and he texted back a response: _Couldn't wait to send that until I got home?_

He only had a wait a few seconds before he got a response: _Just a little incentive to get you home faster. ;)_

Dean rolled his eyes and pocketed his phone with a smirk, resolving to call the other boy when he got home. He finished sweeping and stashed the broom away in the nearby closet. Then he did one last walk-through of the building, turning off all of the lights and machinery, before heading to the front door and locking it behind him.

The crisp, spring air hit Dean in the face as soon as he stepped outside. He shivered and pulled his leather jacket tighter around his shoulders, walking over some puddles that formed when it rained an hour or so ago. It was dark outside, the only visible light being from the streetlight nearby. They weren't exactly in the middle of nowhere, but the shop was at the edge of town, an area that wasn't as heavily populated as the rest of Lawrence.

Dean reached in his pockets, searching for his keys when he heard a shuffling behind him. He glanced over his shoulder, his heart rate accelerating, only to find two figures approaching him. He squinted, eyes adjusting to the darkness, when he realized that the two figures belonged to Benny and Lucifer.

Dean felt his chest tighten as he turned to face them, drawing his lips in a tight line. "Benny. Luc."

"Hello, brother," Benny replied with an easy-going smile.

"Hi, Dean," Lucifer said quietly.

Dean let out a shaky breath, trying to steady it. He was afraid of this encounter happening. Benny and Lucifer had been quiet the past few weeks, only going so far as to glare at Dean whenever he saw them in school, but they never approached him. He knew something was off, that they might be waiting for the perfect time to strike, but he tried not to think about it too much. Unfortunately, that meant that he let his guard down.

"What do you want?" Dean asked, his voice firm.

"You know what," Lucifer replied, furrowing his eyebrows.

Dean shook his head, his lips pursed. "Nope, can't say that I do."

Lucifer let out a low chuckle, and Dean felt his stomach flip. "You betrayed me, Dean. Betrayed us." He gestured between him and Benny. "And you know that can't fly."

"How did I betray you?" Dean challenged.

"You not only befriended my half brother, who's my sworn enemy, but you got into a relationship with him." Lucifer's face screwed up in disgust.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You're so dramatic. How is he your sworn enemy?"

Lucifer took that moment to step forward. Dean watched tentatively, his palms starting to sweat.

"He's the reason my father left," Lucifer snapped. "It's his fault."

"Did you ever think that it's because your father is a piece of shit?"

As soon as Dean said it, he regretted it, because that caused Lucifer and Benny to close the gap between him and push him up against the Impala. Lucifer held his arm to Dean's throat, pinning him against the car, as he spoke next.

"You shut your goddamn mouth about my father," Lucifer growled, his eyes darkening.

Dean swallowed carefully, his heart thudding in his chest. His eyes darted around, hoping to find something he could use to protect himself when Lucifer decided to strike, but nothing was in reach. All he could do was watch the other boy carefully and wait.

"Any father who gets his rocks off hurting their kid is a piece of shit in my book," Dean muttered, anger rising in his throat like bile.

Lucifer glared at him for a few more seconds before rearing up and punching Dean across the face. There was a flash of white as Dean closed his eyes and fell to the ground, his face now throbbing from where Lucifer's fist collided. Dean tasted metal and he spit on the ground. He rolled onto his side and opened his eyes just in time to see Lucifer send a kick to his stomach.

The wind got knocked out of Dean and he groaned, curling up and coughing as he struggled to catch his breath again. Before he could, there was another kick to his stomach, and another to his head. Dean brought his arms up, trying to block the blows as they kept coming.

Dean groaned as he felt more kicks and punches land, most centered on his head. He felt his nose crunch, and liquid flowing down his face now. Dean's vision started to go fuzzy, and panic rose in his chest. He thought about Castiel, who was probably sitting at home waiting for a call from Dean, unaware that he probably wasn't going to get one.

"Cas..." Dean whispered softly as another kick hit the side of his head. He closed his eyes and groaned again as he felt his head throb and his vision go dark.

"Luc, that's enough!"

Dean couldn't hear much beyond the ringing in his ears, but he could've sworn the person who shouted that was Benny. He heard voices arguing back and forth, and then it got quiet.

Dean breathed deeply and steadied himself enough to open his eyes, only to find that he was alone. His eyes darted around, and he immediately regretted it. His vision blurred, and his head throbbed so hard that he was sure he was going to pass out from the pain alone. He lifted a shaky hand and dug around for his cell phone, pulling it out and dialing 911.

"911, what's your emergency?"

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, his vision blurred and he groaned, closing his eyes and falling unconscious.


	19. Chapter 19

Castiel was sitting at his desk in his room, working on his latest drawing. He had his phone open next to him with a picture from his gallery of Dean from their recent picnic at the beach. It was a profile picture of Dean watching the sunset in front of him. The sunlight hit his face in such a way that his green eyes seemed to pop, and his freckles were accentuated. It was Castiel's favorite picture, and he knew he just had to draw it.

He stopped for a moment and checked the time on his phone. It was after ten o'clock, and Dean hadn't called him yet, which was unusual. Castiel swallowed the worry that was rising in his throat, and tried to go back to drawing. _Maybe he got caught up with Bobby or Sam. He'll probably call soon._

Just as he was working on the tufts of hair that poke out around Dean's neck, Castiel's phone rang. He jumped, and picked it up. He didn't recognize the number, but something clenched in his stomach telling him to answer anyways. He clicked the green phone button and pressed the phone to his ear carefully. "Hello?"

"Hello, Castiel?" Came a small voice on the other end, one that Castiel recognized immediately.

"Sam? What's up?"

"It's Dean," The younger Winchester replied, his voice cracking as he spoke. "We're at the hospital."

"What?!" Castiel shouted, his heart rate picking up. "What happened? Is Dean okay?"

There was a silence on the other end before Sam replied. "You'd better get here. He's in room 211."

Without saying another word, Castiel hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket. He stood, and flung his bedroom door open, rushing down the stairs. As he reached the bottom, he found Michael sitting in the living room, watching a cooking show on TV.

"Castiel?" Michael asked, looking up at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Castiel didn't respond, he just grabbed his shoes and started putting them on. He felt his eyes start to well up, hot tears threatening to spill over.

"Castiel, what's going on?" Michael asked again. Castiel turned his head to find Michael standing next to him, his eyes dark with concern.

"It's Dean," Castiel whispered simply, bending over to tie up his shoelaces. "He's in the hospital."

Castiel swallowed carefully, the tears starting to slide down his cheeks. _This can't be happening. This can't be happening._

"Oh my god," Michael replied. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know," Castiel choked out.

"Okay, well, let's go. I'll drive you," Michael stated, grabbing his keys off the nearby table. Castiel looked up at him, a small look of gratitude on his face, before they headed out the front door and to the car.

It took them twenty minutes to get there, and the entire time Castiel stared out the side window, watching the water droplets that clung to the glass from the rain shower that happened earlier. His leg bounced incessantly the entire ride to the hospital. He thought about Dean lying in a hospital bed and he felt his stomach twist again, making his leg bounce faster. He hoped Lucifer hadn't caused this. Or worse - John Winchester.

They pulled into the parking lot of the local hospital. It was barely full, proving to be a more quiet night in Lawrence. Castiel was secretly glad. This meant the doctors and nurses wouldn't be too swamped and could better help Dean.

Michael pulled into a spot, and before he could even put it into park, Castiel opened his door and hopped out, slamming it behind him as he jogged to the front entrance.

"Castiel!" He heard Michael call behind him, but he didn't stop.

Castiel arrived at the entrance and ran past the front desk, heading straight for the elevators. Once inside, he pressed the button for the second floor and watched the doors close. He tapped his foot impatiently, his heart now pounding in his ears as he tried not to think of the worst case scenario.

When the doors opened to the second floor, Castiel made his way down the halls, glancing at each door as he went, checking the room numbers. When he rounded the corner into the head trauma unit, he found Sam and Bobby in the waiting area just outside the hall. Castiel's breath hitched as he ran over to them.

"Castiel!" Sam called when he saw him approach. The younger boy ran up to him and threw his arms around Castiel's waist, squeezing him. Castiel wrapped his arms around Sam, squeezing back.

"What happened?" Castiel asked when they pulled apart.

"He was locking up the shop and someone attacked him," Bobby stated. "Banged him up pretty bad. He managed to call the police before he passed out."

Castiel's eyes widened. "Passed out? Is he okay?"

Bobby looked at the boy carefully, his lips drawn into a tight line. He shook his head softly before responding, "His head got hit pretty bad. Doctors say they don't know when he'll wake up." Bobby swallowed quietly and looked away. "If he wakes up, that is."

Castiel felt his stomach plummet. No, it couldn't be true. Dean wasn't going to die. After everything he'd been through it didn't make sense. He wasn't going to believe it.

Castiel shook his head. "He will wake up," he countered, clenching his jaw.

A silence hung between them as Michael finally appeared behind them after Castiel left him in the parking lot. He jogged up, trying to catch his breath. "How is he?"

"He's in a coma," Castiel whispered, looking at the floor. He looked up at Bobby. "Can I visit him?"

"Of course."

X

Castiel was curled up in a hospital chair with a blanket across his lap. He had his knees pulled to his chest and he wrapped his hands around them, listening to the steady beeps of the monitors in the room. Bobby and Sam had decided to head home to catch a few hours of sleep before coming back, and Castiel promised to sit with Dean for the night.

Dean laid in the hospital bed in front of him and Castiel watched his chest rise and fall as the other boy breathed. If he weren't in a coma, Castiel would smile at seeing him look so peaceful as he slept. Instead, all he could think about was how close to death Dean could actually be.

But he didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think about the fact that every breath could be Dean's last. He didn't want to think about the fact that the first boy he'd ever loved could die. Castiel paused at that thought, his throat tightening as his eyes watered. He was in love with Dean.

He'd never said anything to the other boy. He never really mentioned it, but he'd suspected he'd been in love with him for a while now. Sure, they hadn't been together that long, but Castiel never felt more sure about anything before in his life.

He sat forward, placing his feet back on the floor as he reached a hand out and placed it gently over Dean's. He rubbed the other boy's hand softly as the tears he'd been fighting back finally started to fall, coating his cheeks. His shoulders hunched and his breath hitched as his sobs wracked his body.

He was in love with Dean and he might not ever get the chance to say it.

Castiel was so busy crying that he didn't notice that Michael slipped into the hospital room until he felt his older brother's hands slide around him and pull him into a comforting embrace. He buried his face in his brother's arm and cried harder. The only sounds in the room were the monitors beeping, Castiel's muffled sobs, and Michael quietly comforting him.

They stayed like that for a while until Castiel's breathing slowed and his tears stopped. He sniffled as he laid his head in his brother's lap while Michael gently ran a hand through his hair.

"I can't imagine what you're feeling right now," Michael said, breaking the silence that had befallen over them. "I know how much you care about him."

"I love him," Castiel whispered, squeezing his eyes shut as a few stray tears dropped from his eyes onto Michael's jeans.

Michael let out a slow breath before replying. "I know."

Castiel sat up, running the back of his hand over his face. "What, you're not gonna tell me I'm too young or that I don't really know what love is?"

Michael shook his head. "I'd be a hypocrite if I did."

Castiel tilted his head, his brows furrowing as he watched his brother carefully. "What do you mean?"

Michael sighed and scratched at the back of his neck, looking around the room. "I was a little younger than you when I first fell in love."

Castiel's eyes widened slightly. Michael was in love? He didn't think that Michael had ever been interested in anyone romantically, let alone that he'd been in love at one point in his life. But maybe Castiel hadn't really noticed because of everything that had been going on with him.

"I was a sophomore," Michael continued. "She was a junior. We had Chemistry together. The only studying I ever did in that class was of her." He let out a soft chuckle at the memory, fondness etched on his face.

"We started talking, and it wasn't long until we actually started dating. For a while things were good. Really good. I mean, this girl was wicked smart and pretty, and she was bold too. Wasn't afraid to speak her mind, and she knew what she wanted. It wasn't long until I fell in love with her."

Michael's eyes darkened, frowning. "But it didn't last. She started getting upset because I wasn't spending as much time with her. She kept yelling at me, saying it was weird that I spent so much time at home and that I was probably lying about why we weren't spending time together because I didn't love her anymore.

"Dad was getting pretty bad at the time. I'd come home and find a few new bruises on you just about everyday. So I started coming home right after school to make sure I'd be there to stop him. I was worried about you, and I didn't want the responsibility falling on Anna and Gabe's shoulders alone."

Castiel looked down at his hands. He remembered that time period. Chuck's beatings started to become more frequent and dangerous in nature, and Castiel had been sure at the time that one day Chuck would snap and completely kill him. He was eleven.

"Finally she got tired of it and broke up with me. It killed me, losing her I mean," Michael lifted a hand and scrubbed at his mouth, letting out a long breath. "But I'm a big brother. It was my job to protect you, so I did."

"You gave up the girl you were in love with to protect _me_?" Castiel asked with wide eyes.

Michael glanced over at him. "Of course. You're my brother, and I love you. And I don't regret it one bit."

Castiel watched his brother for a moment, his eyes starting to water again. Michael gave up true love for him, Anna, and Gabe. He gave up a chance at happiness to protect him. This entire time Castiel thought his brother was an asshole that was incapable of love, but he was wrong. Michael gave up everything for him and never complained once. He never batted an eye or made Castiel feel guilty for what happened, he just took care of him and was there for him as best as he could be.

Castiel leaned over and pulled his brother into a hug. Michael jumped, seemingly startled by the contact, but then he softened and wrapped his arms around Castiel.

"Thank you," Castiel said softly.

"For what?"

"For everything." He pulled back and looked at Michael, a small smile forming. "For taking care of me when you didn't need to. For being there for me through everything. For loving me."

Michael's confused expression softened into a smile. "Of course. I love you, bud."

"I love you too."

Castiel sunk back into his chair, curling his knees up again. The smile faded from his face as he remembered the current situation they were dealing with. "Do you think he'll wake up?" he asked quietly.

"I hope so," Michael replied. "I really do."

Castiel watched Dean's chest rise and fall again. He really hoped so too.


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N: To give you an idea of what this chapter will be about, it was largely inspired by both 05x16 "Dark Side of the Moon" and 07x10 "Death's Door". This was probably one of my favorite chapters to write, so I really hope you all like it!_

X

The first thing Dean Winchester noticed when he woke up was that he was in his bedroom. The sun was streaming through the nearby window and coating his face, spreading warmth throughout his body. He quickly lifted a hand and shielded his eyes. The second thing Dean noticed was that his head was throbbing. He grunted as he shifted up into a sitting position, his heartbeat loud in his ears. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself, and looked around.

_Wait, this isn't my room. Or at least not anymore._

Dean was sitting on the floor of his old childhood bedroom, looking around curiously. The room was the same as he remembered; baby blue painted walls, small blue race car bed in the corner opposite him, toy box at the foot of the bed, small wooden dresser on the opposite wall near his door, and his rug in the middle of the room with roads and highways on it.

Dean blinked and looked around, confused. This was the house mom died in, the one that didn't exist anymore. The one on the other side of Lawrence. What was he doing here?

He rolled onto his knees and stood up slowly. He tried to rack his brain for what he last remembered or why he was here, but he couldn't remember. He just knew that something was off, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Dean's thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of a baby crying drifting in from downstairs, followed by a woman's soothing voice trying to calm it down. A voice that sounded just like Mary Winchester's.

Dean hurried forward and wrenched his door open, running out into the hall and bounding down the stairs. He nearly tripped coming down the last step, which was enough to alert Mary and send her rushing to the stairs to meet him.

"Dean, honey, are you alright?"

Dean steadied himself, his head still throbbing heavily, as his eyes met his mother's. She was still as beautiful as he remembered. She had long, silky, blond hair that hung well past her shoulders. Her eyes were soft and kind, a beautiful shade of blue-green (eyes that Dean swore Sammy shared with her, but he had never mentioned it). He swallowed carefully, simultaneously amazed about the fact that his dead mother was standing in front of him, and confused about how this even happened to begin with.

"Dean," she said, her face softening into a smile. "Be more careful coming down the stairs. I don't want you falling."

Dean nodded slowly, his eyes wide. Mary let out a soft chuckle and turned around, heading over to the bassinet on the other side of the living room. She leaned down and picked up the baby inside, cradling it close to her and humming softly. He watched her for a few seconds before it dawned on him that the baby she was holding was Sam. _Is this a dream?_

Before he could dwell on that thought for too long, the front door opened and in stepped John Winchester. Dean's heart jumped into his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut as he braced himself for the inevitable yelling and abuse that was bound to occur, but nothing happened. He slowly opened his eyes again and looked up at his father.

John looked different. His hair was shorter and his beard was well trimmed. His clothes weren't torn like they normally were, and his body was slimmer. John stepped further into the room and closed the door behind him, beaming at his wife and children. "Hey buddy," he said to Dean, reaching down and ruffling his hair.

Dean watched curiously. This wasn't the John he knew, not anymore. This was how John used to be, before Mary's death. He watched as John walked over to Mary and planted a kiss on her forehead before reaching out and grabbing baby Sam from her.

Wait, Dean remembered this day. It was a few days before Mary's death, before their lives turned completely upside down. John came home from work and they had a nice dinner, and afterwards they went to the park and Dean played while his parents watched and took care of Sam. This was a memory.

In retrospect, it wasn't an extraordinary day by any means. It was actually pretty normal for them back then. But because it was so close to when things changed, Dean clung to the memory as if it were oxygen and he was constantly running low. He knew holding onto it wouldn't change what happened, but it was the only memory he really had of his mom and the way things used to be, so he'd cling to it as long as he possibly could.

Dean watched his father rocking Sam, talking to him softly as Mary stood nearby and watched them fondly. He couldn't help the tears that started springing to his eyes as his longing for his mother tore through his body. Why did things have to happen the way they did? He knew there wasn't a rhyme or reason to it, but that didn't stop him from asking why.

After a few moments, he couldn't handle watching the scene in front of him anymore. He had no idea why he was dreaming of this (if this even _was_ a dream) and wanted it to stop. He stood, ignoring the intense throbbing of his head, and ran to the front door, flinging it open and running through.

"Dean?!" He heard Mary's voice call behind him, but it was too late, he was already gone.

X

Dean didn't know where he expected to end up - on the front lawn of his old house? In his bed back at Bobby's? - but he was completely unprepared for where he actually was.

When he turned back, expecting to see his childhood house, he instead saw a random house from his old neighborhood, and a young Sam walking towards him. He was dressed in a Batman costume, a pillowcase clutched tightly in his hand as he walked past. Dean looked around, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Sam was wearing the same outfit he wore for Halloween when he was eleven and Dean was fifteen. _Of course, Halloween. _

This was the last year Dean took Sam trick-or-treating before Sam decided he was too old ("We deal with enough horror everyday of our lives," he'd said to Dean when he asked). It was probably his favorite memory with his little brother.

"Are you coming?" Sam asked, tearing Dean from his thoughts.

Dean nodded quickly and followed Sam down the path. They walked side by side down the street as dozens of kids in costumes pushed past, giggling excitedly. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around. It was starting to get dark, and a slight breeze swept through the air around them, causing Dean to shiver. He probably should've brought his leather jacket.

They made their way up and down the streets surrounding their house, hitting every house they could. It wasn't long before Sam's bag was full, and he was complaining about his feet being sore. Dean rolled his eyes and joked that he wouldn't last a day in the army if he ever signed up, which just earned a bitchface from Sam.

They finally circled around and were near home when Sam asked to hit one more house before heading back. "I thought your feet hurt?" Dean asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, but one more house couldn't hurt," Sam replied with a shrug.

"Uh huh," Dean said with a chuckle.

They walked a little past their house until they found a house that was rumored to give out full sized candy bars. Dean knew it was probably a lost cause at this point (those candy bars were either gone, or weren't ever being given out to begin with), but he remembered when he was younger and would beg to go to houses like this, and decided to just let Sam go anyways.

He waited at the end of the driveway of the house as Sam ran up and knocked on the door. As he watched his brother, it dawned on him that he remembered what happened next. Sam got jumped by two bullies from his class and had his candy stolen. He'd told Dean he just wanted to go home and didn't care about the candy anymore, but Dean saw the look on his face and knew better. That's when he took matters into his own hands.

They ended up at one of the houses of the two kids carrying sacks full of eggs and toilet paper. Sam was uneasy, but Dean reassured him that this was the ultimate payback. So they got to work, stringing toilet paper over every section they could reach, until the house looked like a poorly decorated Christmas tree. Then they reached for the eggs and started launching them at the house, hitting the siding, windows, and even the chimney. It didn't take long for one of the lights to flip on, and an angry parent to come to the door screaming.

They took off for their house, laughing as they ran. When they finally reached their front steps, they collapsed there, breathlessly laughing over the mayhem they'd caused. They'd stayed like that for a few minutes until their laughter dissolved, and they could finally breathe normally again.

"Hey, Dean?" Sam asked when they were calm again.

"Hm?"

"Thanks."

A smile crossed Dean's lips. "Of course. No one messes with my baby brother and gets away with it."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm not a baby," he remarked, getting to his feet.

"Really? Could have fooled me with all the whining you were doing about your feet."

Sam shot a bitchface at him. "Jerk."

"Bitch."

Sam rolled his eyes once more before turning and heading up the stairs and into the front door. Dean watched him disappear behind the front door as his head started throbbing again, stronger and more intense than it was before. He groaned and doubled over, squeezing his eyes shut as the edges of his vision slowly started to darken, until he eventually blacked out completely.

X

When Dean opened his eyes again, he was in a new place. He groaned as he sat up, feeling a cool breeze wash over him, bringing a salty smell along with it. He looked around and realized he was at Bloomington Beach - the beach he'd only just went to with Castiel the other day.

Dean glanced over to his side to find Castiel sitting there, taking small bites of a peanut butter and jelly as he watched the sunset in front of him. The wind blew, ruffling his black hair, and the light from the sun reflected off of his glasses. It was almost like he was glowing. Dean smiled as he watched him, remembering this day perfectly.

This was the day he realized he was in love with Castiel.

Dean kept that to himself, of course. He was afraid that if he brought it up it would ruin the picnic they were having. He was afraid it was far too soon to be talking about love, and the last thing he wanted was to ruin their relationship when things had been going so well. He'd decided he would say it later, when the time was right.

Dean watched Castiel for a few moments, feeling his chest get warm. Castiel looked up at him, a smile on his face. "What?"

Dean shook his head. "Nothing." He looked out at the sun as it started disappearing behind the lake. A mix of pinks and purples painted the sky around it.

"Doesn't sound like it's nothing," Castiel pointed out, unable to hide the amusement in his voice.

Dean let out a soft chuckle. "I'll tell you later," he replied.

"Tell me later?" Castiel questioned, his brows furrowed in confusion. "You won't be able to. You're dying."

Dean's stomach flipped and his eyes widened. He looked back over at Castiel, who'd gone back to eating his sandwich as if he'd never said anything at all.

"What did you just say?"

"I said that you're dying, Dean," Castiel stated simply, picking at the crust of his sandwich. He tossed it on the beach and a nearby seagull landed, picking it up and swallowing it quickly.

"What do you mean? How?"

"Don't you remember? Lucifer and Benny jumped you. They nearly kicked your head in."

All at once the memories of the day flooded back, causing Dean's head to throb again. He groaned through clenched teeth, lifting a hand to hold his head as he remembered leaving the shop, being confronted by Lucifer and Benny, and getting beaten unconscious. Eventually his head pain dulled, and he sat up straighter.

"So, I'm dying?" Dean asked.

"Yes," Castiel said matter-of-factly.

"But that doesn't make any sense," Dean stated. "I'm too young to die. I've been through worse than this and I've been fine."

"You were lucky. Now, not so much."

Dean breathed heavily, thinking about himself lying in some hospital bed in Lawrence. He pictured Bobby and Sam and Castiel standing nearby crying, hoping for him to wake up, but realizing he never would. Wait, Castiel. He couldn't leave him behind without at least telling him how he felt.

"No, wait, I can't die," Dean said. "I have something I have to tell you."

Castiel looked up at him curiously, his sandwich half eaten. "So tell me."

"No, not _you_ you. The real you. Out there," Dean replied, gesturing vaguely around him.

Castiel smiled softly and lifted his hand, placing it on Dean's cheek, rubbing his thumb gently on his skin. Dean closed his eyes for a second, leaning into the touch, before remembering that none of this was real.

"So, go tell me," Castiel finally replied, using his head to nod in the direction behind Dean.

Dean's breath hitched, and he turned around slowly. A brown, wooden door sat off in the distance on the beach. It hadn't been there before, and it looked like it led nowhere. He glanced back at Castiel for a moment, who was staring at him with fond, encouraging eyes. Dean smiled softly and patted Castiel's leg gently before standing up and heading toward the door.

The light from the sun was almost gone at this point, and the wind picked up, causing Dean to shiver. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly as he went. When he reached the door, he reached out and turned the knob slowly. Before he pushed it open, he stole one more glance behind him, hoping to see the dream Castiel still sitting at the picnic. But when he turned both Castiel and the blanket were gone. Dean let out a slow breath before turning back to the door, pushing it open, and stepping in.

X

Dean's eyes fluttered open slowly. At first, all he saw was white. But after a few seconds, things started to come into focus: the heart monitor beeping next to him, the light streaming in from the window nearby, and Castiel who was curled up in the chair next to his bed, drawing in his sketchbook.

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was air. It didn't matter, because Castiel saw him move and immediately was on his feet by his side.

"Dean?!"


	21. Chapter 21

Castiel pulled his sketchbook and art supplies from his locker before slamming it shut and walking down the hall. He let out a slow breath as he made his way to the art room for his next class. It was going to be weird not seeing Dean there, but he knew he'd be back tomorrow.

It had been a week and a half since Dean came out of his coma. Castiel had stayed with him as much as he could while he was in the hospital (which Dean said he didn't need to do, but he did anyway). Michael even stayed with him a few times and got to know Dean more, which made Castiel happy. He wanted Michael and Dean to get along better, and it seemed that his brother really was starting to let go of his prejudices against the Winchester boy.

Dean was released from the hospital after a few days, and he then decided to take a few more days off to recover and get ready for the custody hearing. In fact, he was probably at the hearing right at that moment. Castiel couldn't help but worry. He hoped Dean was okay, especially considering he had to face his father again. Dean had started counseling sessions, and frequently talked about the techniques he'd been learning to help with his panic attacks, so while Castiel was worried, he wasn't too worried.

Castiel reached the art room and quickly walked to the back to sit at his usual table. As he started to unload his supplies, he noticed a figure approaching him out of the corner of his eye. He looked up and made eye contact with Jo Harvelle.

"Castiel," Jo greeted.

"Hello, Jo," Castiel responded as he continued pulling supplies out from his bag.

"How's Dean doing?"

"He's doing alright." Castiel snapped his bag shut and made his way around the table, sitting down in his chair. "He's recovering well."

"Oh, thank God," Jo replied, letting out a sigh of relief. Castiel watched her as she looked to the floor, shifting from one foot to the other, a nervous energy spilling out from her and surrounding them both. "Is it true that Lucifer did it?"

Castiel's heart skipped a beat. He knew the question was coming, but he still wasn't prepared to answer. In all honesty, he didn't know for sure whether or not Lucifer and Benny were behind what happened, because Dean wouldn't tell him. He'd insisted on trying to let the whole thing go rather than press charges, which Castiel wasn't happy about. He knew it was because Dean was trying to protect Benny (he likely didn't want to throw him under the bus for what happened), so he couldn't really do anything about it.

"Honestly, I don't know," Castiel stated finally.

Jo pursed her lips and nodded slowly. There was a fire behind her eyes that Castiel noticed was gone before he could place what emotion it conveyed. "You know, a lot of people are pissed about what happened to him. Me especially."

"Believe me, I am too," Castiel replied.

There was a silence that hung between them before Jo said, "Just know that I got your back. If there's anything I can do, let me know."

Castiel watched her carefully. Jo had always been a fierce protector. She was always willing to jump up and help people, especially those being targeted by other people in school. He remembered a time when Garth was being targeted by a couple of the jocks in their grade. They'd cornered him in one of the hallways and started shoving him around, knocking his books to the ground. Jo had been walking by when she saw this occur, and immediately jumped in between them and fended them off, threatening to knock their asses into next week if she caught them bothering him again.

There was no doubt in Castiel's mind that she was on their side.

"Thank you, Jo," He replied, smiling softly.

She smiled back sympathetically and nodded before turning and making her way over to her own table a few rows over. Castiel watched her for a second, then opened up his sketchbook and flipped to the drawing of Dean he'd been working on.

The bell rang, signaling the start of class, and Castiel got to work. He was done with the sketch and the linework and was just working on adding color. He opted to use Copic markers for this part, and it was turning out pretty well so far. He worked for the entire class period, determined to finish it soon so he could give it to Dean as a present. Mr. Clark had walked past a couple times and peered over his shoulder to admire his progress, but didn't say anything - that is, until class was over.

Castiel was so focused on his drawing that he didn't initially hear the end of the period bell ring. It wasn't until students started making their way out of the room that he realized that class was over. He took one last look at his drawing before standing up and starting to pack his stuff.

"Castiel," Mr. Clark said, now standing next to him.

Castiel jumped, startled at the teacher's presence, before relaxing and responding. "Yes?"

"Can we chat for a moment?"

Castiel furrowed his brows for a second, but nodded, gathering up the rest of his supplies and closing his bag.

"Have you gotten a response from any of the colleges you applied to?" Mr. Clark asked coolly.

Castiel let out a snort. "You mean the one college I applied to? Yeah, Yale. They rejected me."

Mr. Clark's face twisted in sympathy and he let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Castiel."

Castiel gave a half-shrug. "It's okay."

"I know you wanted to get into Yale, but did you apply anywhere else?"

Castiel shook his head. "I know it was probably stupid of me, but I was so sure I'd get into Yale that I didn't. And now it's too late to apply for the fall semester."

Mr. Clark nodded slowly, crossing his arms. "Well, I have a proposal for you. You don't have to agree to it just yet, you can take some time to think about it first."

"What?"

"As you know, I own my own art gallery in Kansas City. Well, I'm looking to hire an intern to help me out over there part time, especially with upcoming shows. I know that internships sometimes can sweeten up college applications, so I'm willing to offer you the position if you're interested. You could work there for a semester, get some hands-on experience, and apply to some schools for the spring semester if you want. I'd also be happy to write you a letter of recommendation."

Castiel's eyes widened. Mr. Clark's gallery hosted openings for some of the most exclusive up and coming artists in the midwest. He'd have the opportunity to meet some really talented people, and could use that to help him get into college. Who knows, maybe he'd actually be able to get into Yale. Immediately, he wanted to say yes, but he knew he should have a conversation with Michael about it first.

"You said I can think about it, right?"

"Of course. Take as much time as you need," Mr. Clark said with a smile. "Let me know what you decide."

Castiel nodded and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Thank you, Mr. Clark. I have to go."

They smiled at each other before Castiel grabbed his sketchbook and hurried out of the room.

X

The final bell rang and Castiel had made his way out to the parking lot, waiting for Michael to come pick him up. He was buzzing with energy from his conversation with Mr. Clark and he couldn't wait to talk to Michael about it. He figured his brother would like the idea, but he was worried about getting to the gallery. Michael and Dean wouldn't be able to drive him all the time, so he'd have to actually get his license, something that Michael had been putting off for a while with everything that had been going on.

Castiel pulled out his phone to check for any messages, and saw a text from Dean. _Home from the hearing, went well. Need some rest, I'll tell you all about it tomorrow._ He smiled and typed back, "_Okay, sleep well. :)_" before locking his phone and pocketing it again.

He scanned the cars in the parking lot before realizing that Michael was probably late again. He rolled his eyes and walked over to the curb at the edge of the lot, sitting down and stretching out his legs. He was just about to pull out his sketchbook when he heard footsteps next to him.

"Hello, Castiel."

He didn't have to look up to know who it was. He clenched his jaw, staring out at the cars in front of him, trying to remain calm. "Hello, Lucifer."

Lucifer walked in front of Castiel, a devilish smirk on his face. "Heard about what happened to Dean. How's he doing?"

Castiel swallowed carefully, feeling his face heat up. "He's fine, no thanks to you."

"Me?" Lucifer asked incredulously. "I haven't done anything."

Castiel stood, clutching his bag tightly to him. "Cut the shit, Luc. I know you and Benny were the ones who did it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lucifer replied, eyes dark with mischief. "But honestly, whoever did it must have had a reason to. Maybe Dean did some bad things to some good people."

"Or maybe he did nothing wrong, and the people who did this are just cowardly assholes," Castiel shot back, his voice a low growl.

Lucifer's smile dropped into a tight frown. "I hardly think betraying his friends is 'doing nothing wrong'."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "I don't see how he betrayed you."

"He's dating you, the shithead who made my father disappear."

"I didn't _make_ Chuck do anything. He was abusive. Whatever hole he ended up digging himself into was his own doing. And he chose to leave, no one made him."

Lucifer clenched his teeth. "That's bullshit, and you know it. He never hit me or anyone else for that matter."

"Well of course not. He only hated faggots like me," Castiel snapped back.

Lucifer watched him carefully, his eyes dark. "What?"

"What, you didn't know? Our father was a homophobic prick. He hated my guts because of it. I'm surprised he didn't kill me when he had the chance."

"You're lying," Lucifer stated.

"I'm not," Castiel replied, looking him in the eye. "I know you don't want to believe it, but our father was an asshole. And quite frankly, I'm glad he's gone."

At that moment, Castiel saw Michael's car pulling into the parking lot. Michael made eye contact with him and waved. Castiel pursed his lips and pushed past Lucifer, but was stopped by Lucifer's hand on his arm.

"Wait-"

Castiel didn't wait for Lucifer to finish before he wheeled around, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him closer to him. Rage coursed through his veins as he spoke. "Everyone thinks they should be afraid of you. That you're so dangerous." He moved closer, his face inches away from Lucifer's. "But really, _I'm_ the one _you_ should be afraid of."

Castiel watched Lucifer for a moment, his lips drawn into a tight line, before he let him go. He turned quickly and set off towards the car, not even bothering to look back. Michael had climbed out of the car at this point, his eyes clouded with worry.

"Castiel, what just happened? Are you okay?" Michael asked as he approached the car.

Castiel shook his head. "I'm fine. Let's just go."

Michael didn't say a word as they climbed in. It wasn't until they were pulling out of the parking lot and heading down the street that Castiel looked back to where he and Lucifer had been. The other boy was gone, probably off figuring out what to do to him or Dean next, but he didn't care. It felt good to finally stand up to Lucifer after everything he'd done.

Castiel let out a sigh as he stared out of the window at the passing houses. He didn't regret what he did, but he just hoped it didn't come back to bite them on the ass.


	22. Chapter 22

Dean was at his locker grabbing his books for the day when Jo walked up to him. It was early morning on his first day back at school since he came out of the coma. He'd been feeling a little groggy, and had a bit of a headache, but that was normal considering everything he'd been through. His doctor told him that recovery would take a while, and that he should take things slow until he was better. Aside from the hearing yesterday, he'd been spending most of his time at home sleeping or drawing.

"Dean!" Jo exclaimed as she approached.

"Jo," he replied with a smile. She walked up and threw her arms around him. He returned the hug.

"Glad to see you up and walking around," she said when they pulled apart.

"Glad to be up and walking around."

There was a moment of silence between them as Jo's smile faded. She looked around apprehensively before saying, "Rumor is that Lucifer was the one who did it."

Dean let out a sigh, turning back to his locker. He was nervous about coming back to school for this reason. He didn't want people harassing him about what happened or who did it. He'd decided not to press charges, not because he wanted Lucifer to get away with what happened, but because he didn't want Benny to get caught up in everything. He'd heard Benny that night; He tried to stop Luc from pushing things as far as he did, and unfortunately got pulled into it. So Dean decided to let it go, and deal with whatever Luc might throw at him as best as he could. They'd be graduating in a few months anyways, so he figured he'd only have to deal with it until June.

"I don't know who did it. I didn't see," Dean mumbled as he busied himself with gathering his books.

Jo rolled her eyes. "That's bull, and you know it. Dean, why are you protecting him?"

He looked over at Jo, whose eyes flashed with indignation. "I'm not protecting him. I can handle whatever he throws at me."

"Oh yeah, like him nearly killing you," Jo replied with a scoff. "Is this about Benny? Did he have something to do with it too?"

Dean shook his head, closing his locker door. "No. Just drop it, okay?"

"And what about Castiel? How do you think he feels knowing that the guy who tried to kill his boyfriend is still walking around?"

"I said _drop it_," Dean growled between clenched teeth.

Jo stared at him for a moment, her lips drawn into a tight line, before rolling her eyes. "You Winchesters are always so stubborn," she said with a huff.

Dean let out a light chuckle. "Get it from my father."

"But honestly, you should at least consider going to the police."

"Jo-"

"Luc's pissed, Dean," she interjected. "Especially because your boy apparently threatened him yesterday."

"_What?!_" Dean asked incredulously. "_Cas_ did? Castiel Novak? Little nerdy dude with messy black hair and glasses?"

"That's what everyone's saying. I didn't see it happen, but apparently it was in the parking lot. After class let out."

Dean let out a frustrated sigh. The last thing he needed was Castiel running up and poking the bear. They had enough on their plates already.

"I'll talk to him," Dean reassured her. Just as he said this, he noticed Castiel approaching them out of the corner of his eye. "Speak of the devil."

Castiel was beaming when he reached them, a contrast to the smouldering look Dean was giving. When Castiel noticed this, his smile dropped into a frown. "What's up?"

Jo looked between the two boys, obviously sensing the tension that was building. She cleared her throat awkwardly and said, "You guys have some catching up to do, so I'm gonna go. See you later."

She pushed past them and disappeared within the crowd of students. Dean kept his eyes on Castiel. "What's this I hear about you threatening Lucifer?"

Castiel rolled his eyes and sighed. "That's not what happened."

"So what happened?"

Castiel rubbed the back of his neck, not meeting Dean's eyes. "When I was waiting for Michael to pick me up yesterday, Lucifer confronted me. Started talking about what happened to you, basically rubbing it in. Said you deserved it for betraying him, whatever that means."

Dean rolled his eyes. "He's just dramatic. How did that lead to you threatening him?"

"I tried to leave, and he grabbed me. My fight or flight kicked in, I got in his face and told him not to come near either of us ever again. That's all."

Dean watched him for a moment. "You sure? Because everyone's saying otherwise."

Castiel looked away, clutching his books tighter to his chest. "I may have grabbed him by the shirt when I yelled at him, and I may have said something along the lines of, "I'm the one you should really be afraid of"."

Dean chuckled. "Wow, Cas. Didn't know you had it in you."

"Shut up," Castiel muttered, a smirk turning up at the corners of his mouth. "I know it was stupid, but I freaked, and I was pissed. I still am."

"I get it," Dean said with a nod. "I just don't want him coming after you now. Although, maybe I should be more worried about what you'd do after what happened yesterday."

Castiel laughed and shoved him playfully. "Better watch your ass, Winchester."

Dean's eyes sparkled with amusement as he held open his arms. "Come here."

Castiel smiled softly as he stepped forward and they hugged. Dean buried his face in the other boy's hair and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment.

"At least we have each other," Castiel remarked, his voice muffled from being buried in the crook of Dean's neck.

Dean nodded, smiling. "And you have Michael. I have Sam and Bobby."

Castiel pulled back and looked up at him. "By the way, how was the hearing?"

"We won," Dean replied, his smile wide. "I got custody of Sammy. And they're gonna charge my dad with child abuse and neglect."

Castiel's eyes widened. "Holy shit. Really?"

Dean nodded again. "He's finally gonna be out of our lives."

Castiel lifted his hand and placed it on Dean's cheek, rubbing it gently with his thumb. "I'm so happy for you, Dean."

Dean leaned into the touch, a warmth spreading through his chest. "How about we celebrate? It's supposed to be nice out, let's go to the beach after school. Relax and do some drawing."

"I'd love to," Castiel replied with a grin.

X

The rest of the day seemed to pass by slowly. Dean fought to stay focused in his classes (something that his doctor said he should expect given that he had a concussion). Luckily, Dean's teachers were understanding of the situation and offered him extensions on upcoming assignments. By the time the final bell rang, Dean was just happy to get out of school so he could go relax.

He pushed his way through the crowds of students, searching for that familiar mop of black hair. When he spotted Castiel waiting in the front foyer, he wandered over, relief clearly etched on his face.

"If I have to spend another second in this place, I'm going to scream," Dean grumbled as he approached, running a hand through his hair.

"Rough day?" Castiel asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

Dean shook his head. "Not really, I just have a headache. And brain fog."

Castiel flashed him a sympathetic look and reached out a hand, rubbing Dean's arm gently. "Let's get out of here and go to the beach."

Dean smirked and they turned towards the entrance. Just before they reached it, they were cut off by a familiar, broad-shouldered man. Dean couldn't help the eyeroll that came over him when he realized it was Benny.

"Hello, brother."

"What do you want, Benny?" Dean snapped. His head was throbbing steadily at this point, and all he wanted was to just get away from everyone except for Castiel. The last thing he expected was to run into one of the two people who were on his shit list.

Benny shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and shuffled from foot to foot. "How are you?"

Dean's mouth formed a tight line. "How am I? How do you think I am?"

Benny let out a breath and looked away. "I-I'm sorry."

Castiel moved next to him, and Dean knew the other boy was angry. "You and Lucifer nearly killed him, and you have the audacity to walk over here and act like you're still friends?" Castiel stepped closer to Benny, his voice a low growl. "You can fuck off."

"Cas," Dean warned, reaching an arm out and placing it on the other boy's shoulder.

Castiel's head snapped around. "No, I'm tired of biting my tongue. I'm tired of you acting like it was no big deal. I-" Castiel looked away, swallowing carefully before speaking again. "I almost lost you," he whispered.

Dean watched Castiel for a moment, and his face softened. He was so concerned with what happened and how to deal with Lucifer and Benny that he didn't realize how badly it may have affected Castiel. Dean's grip on Castiel's shoulder loosened, and he rubbed it gently with his thumb as the two stared at each other.

"There's a reason why I wanted to talk to you," Benny piped up. Dean had nearly forgotten the other boy was there.

"What?" Dean asked, looking over at Benny.

Benny cleared his throat and tilted his chin up, looking Dean in the eye. "Go to the police and file a report. Press charges."

Dean's eyebrows furrowed. "What? Why?"

"Luc and I deserve to go down for what we did to you." Benny shook his head. "I never wanted it to go as far as it did, but it did."

Dean let out a sigh. "If I go to the police you'll get arrested and your entire future will be ruined."

"And if you don't, Luc gets to walk free and plan his next attack on you." Benny freed one of his hands from his pockets and rubbed his forehead. "Look man, I deserve it. I went along with it even when I started questioning him. I was a coward." He looked up at Dean, his eyes wide. "But this is my chance to do the right thing. This is my chance to be the friend that I should've been all along."

Dean watched Benny carefully. "Benny-"

"Please, Dean," Benny said, cutting him off. "If you won't go, I will."

They stood there in silence for a moment, watching each other. He and Benny had been friends for years, long before Luc came along. Benny was the one who helped him overcome his self-confidence issues when they were in middle school (that were mainly there because of John), and he was the one who was there for him when he and Lisa broke up. Dean considered him a brother, and even though there was a lot of bad blood between them with everything that happened, he still couldn't bring himself to turn him in and potentially ruin his friend's future. But if Benny was threatening to go to the police himself, then what choice did he have? Finally, Dean nodded, swallowing carefully.

"Thank you," Benny said quietly. "I'm sorry." He looked from Dean to Castiel, his eyes sad, before turning and heading out the front doors.

They watched him leave before Castiel turned to Dean. "Dean-"

Dean pulled his car keys from his pocket and turned them in his hands a few times, not meeting the other boy's eyes. "Can we just go?"

Castiel nodded, and then they made their way out of the front entrance and to Dean's car.

X

Dean was tense during the drive to the beach, white-knuckling the steering wheel the whole time. They didn't say anything, but at one point Castiel placed a hand on Dean's leg, tracing small circles on his knee with his thumb. Dean was grateful for this, because it gave him something to focus on and ground him, keeping any potential panic attacks at bay. It wasn't until they got there that Dean started to relax again. They climbed out and walked over to the sand, lugging their supplies over, and laid a fleece blanket down. They sat cross-legged, working on their perspective drawings as the light breeze blew past them, ruffling their hair and clothes gently.

They worked in silence for a while, letting the calm wash over them just as the waves washed over the shore in front of them. As Dean worked on his drawing, he felt a pang in his chest as the guilt he was feeling from earlier bubbled to the surface.

"Cas," Dean said quietly, finally breaking the silence. "I'm sorry."

Castiel looked up at him, his head slightly tilted to the side. "For what?"

Dean looked over at him. "I didn't want Benny to get thrown under the bus for what happened, and I didn't realize how much that affected you too. I nearly died, and that must have killed you inside. Not only that, but Lucifer could've gone after you next. I didn't think about how not doing anything could've put you in danger."

Castiel's face softened. "Dean, it's okay."

Dean shook his head. "No, it's not. I was so worried about my friendship with Benny and protecting him, that I didn't think about you. I'm sorry."

Castiel shuffled closer to Dean until their thighs were touching, and he placed his hand gently on Dean's knee. "I forgive you, Dean."

Dean placed his hand over Castiel's and smiled softly. He looked up at the other boy who was watching him fondly, and felt his heart swell. He knew he was in love with Castiel, but he hadn't told him yet. With everything that had been going on, he didn't think it was the right time. But sitting here on the beach next to him, seeing the way the sun shone against his skin, and watching the affection radiate from his eyes, made Dean realize that maybe now was the right time. His stomach knotted, but he took a deep breath.

"Cas, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," Dean started, swallowing carefully.

"Okay," Castiel replied. "What is it?"

Dean looked away for a moment, and Castiel turned the hand that was on Dean's knee face-up, interlocking their fingers. He squeezed Dean's hand softly, encouraging him to continue.

"These past few months with you have been the best," Dean continued. "I know it's been rocky with everything going on, but you stuck it out, even during the times where I was a complete asshat towards you."

Dean absentmindedly brushed off a few stray eraser shavings from the sketchbook in his lap. "You've been really patient too, the most patient I've ever seen a person be. You stuck by my side while I dealt with the custody hearings and when I started counseling, you helped me through panic attacks, you stayed with me at the hospital as much as you could." He turned and looked at Castiel. "Honestly, it feels like at times I don't deserve you."

"Dean..."

"But you're still here. Because you care, and because you want to be. Other than Sam, I don't know if anyone has ever cared about me that much. And somewhere along the way, I realized I care about you too, and not just because of all the things you've done for me."

A silence hung between them for a moment before Dean continued, "You're smart as hell. It amazes me how much you know and how logical you can be in a situation. You and Sam babble on and on about the most random things, and I know I tease you both about it, but I actually love it. I've never met a single person that's been able to pick his brain like that.

"You're kind too. But not kind like you're waiting for people to reciprocate and do stuff for you, but kind like selfless. You do nice things because you want to and it makes you happy, and I love that about you. And don't even get me started on your art."

Dean let out a chuckle and ran his free hand through his hair. "I'm rambling, I need to get to the point."

"I don't know, I'm enjoying all this praise," Castiel replied.

They both laughed for a minute, and when they calmed down again, Dean looked over at him. "Do you remember the last time we came here? I was staring at you and you asked me about it and I told you that I'd tell you later?"

Castiel nodded slowly. "I remember."

"It's later," Dean stated. He let out a shaky breath. "I love you."

Relief washed over Dean for a moment, before panic rose and started to churn his stomach. He looked away quickly, feeling his face heat up. There was a part of him saying that maybe this was a bad idea, maybe it was far too soon for him to be confessing his love. But that part of him was soon silenced when he felt Castiel's hand rest on his cheek. He turned Dean's head to face him, and said softly, "Dean, I love you too."

Dean felt his heart thump heavily in his chest as Castiel's hand moved from his cheek to the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Dean's eyes slid closed as they kissed, and he placed a hand on Castiel's thigh. After a few moments they pulled apart, grinning at each other.

"Wait," Castiel said suddenly, turning towards his messenger bag that was laying next to him. "I have something for you."

Dean watched as Castiel dug through his bag. When he found what he was looking for, he pulled it out and handed it over to Dean, who looked over at him curiously.

"It took me ages, but I finally finished it," Castiel stated.

Dean looked down at the paper in front of him, and his jaw immediately dropped. It was a drawing of Dean sitting at that very beach from the last time they were there, watching the sunset in front of him. The light from the sun bounced off of his skin and accentuated his eyes and freckles. It was so realistic and colored so well that Dean couldn't believe that it was only a drawing. He looked over at Castiel, his eyes wide. "You made this?"

Castiel nodded and smiled. "I did."

Dean threw his arm over Castiel's shoulders and pulled him closer, placing a kiss on his temple. "I love it."

Castiel snuggled into Dean's side. "That was the day I realized I was in love with you, too."

Dean let out a laugh. "So you mean to tell me we realized we were in love with each other on the same day, and we're both chicken shits?"

Castiel laughed in response. "I guess we're just perfect for each other."

Dean looked down at Castiel, a small smile tracing his lips. "Yeah, I guess so."

They stayed like that for a while longer, watching the waves roll across the shore. If someone had told Dean Winchester four months ago that this was how his senior year of high school would've turned out, he would've laughed in their face. It's funny how things changed in just a few months.

As the sun started to sink lower in the sky, they stood and started packing their stuff to head home. Dean thought back to the day he asked Castiel to tutor him, and silently thanked himself for doing so. There was a small part of him that told him it was a good idea, and he was glad he listened. He never would've gotten that far if he didn't have Castiel there with him.

When their stuff was packed they walked to the car, hands intertwined between them. A comfortable silence surrounded them as they walked, and Dean noticed that his headache had calmed down, to his relief. They reached the car shortly after and loaded their stuff in. Before getting in the car, Dean turned and took one last look out at the water.

"You okay?" Castiel asked. He was standing by the passenger side door, watching Dean over the top of the Impala.

Dean took a deep breath and nodded, turning to flash the other boy a smile. "I'm perfect."

Castiel smiled warmly back at him before pulling open the passenger door and getting into the car. Dean watched him for a moment before turning back and looking at the water one last time. He smiled softly, feeling relaxed for the first time in a long time. After a few moments, he opened the driver's side door and got in.

Dean wasn't sure what life had in store for him next, but he figured that as long as he had Castiel by his side, he'd be alright.

The End

X

_A/N: Oh my gosh, I can't believe we're finally here! Thank you so much for reading this story and leaving such wonderful comments! I'm sad to see this story go, but I'm so pleased that I got to the end and that so many of you liked it! Thank you all so much! _


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